Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

Awww meatface when you hate a movie you hate it I wasn't a huge fan of it but i do think it deserves more that 1 star

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I think that's possibly the best episode of The Simpsons.

I don't really remember much about the film, other than I thought it was ok until the end when he just won't bloody die!!!! Even more annoying than the end of T2.

ONE star for Cape Fear? Not even two stars? You didn't think it was THAT bad did you Meat? The remake is better than the original imo.

Cape Fear is a fantastic film. One of my favorite remakes, I think.

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Synecdoche New York (1 viewing)



Charlie Kaufman has always blended reality and surreality in his scripts and now that he's in the director's chair - he goes all out on making as many little worlds inside of one another as possible. On my first viewing there was too much information being presented at a time. Which is why I really look forward to seeing it again.

The movie starts off with Caden Cotard (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) who I suppose in some ways is to represent Kaufman himself - as he starts losing his health and is soon convinced he will be dieing soon. Not long after his wife leaves with his daughter and he is left alone where he starts to lose track of time. Years go by unnoticed by Cotard until he receives a genius grant to do whatever he pleases with it. He comes up with the idea to make a massive stage production that he ultimately comes to use to live out his own life.

It's a massive scale movie and it's already over in two hours. Of course the problem with this is some emotional disconnect with several characters , the further it went the more confused I became about who was who anymore. It's enjoyable confusement though , because on my next viewings I will be able to connect more characters to each other and really see how everything is panning out. As the characters and relationships of the hundreds of actors in this play develop - the buildings to replicate New York become real buildings and the city expands out of the original warehouse it started in.

Cotard is as impossible a character to describe as any real person , you'll find your own reasoning for him in the end - but no ones will be the same. The paradox of him feeling lonely even when all these hundreds of people rely on him to know what to do in the play (which is practically their lives). You will feel for his character in any case because of Hoffman's amazing performance. The amazing acting may be overlooked because everyone involved is as realistic as each other Catherine Keener , Michelle Williams , Samantha Morton , Emily Watson all deserve a lot of credit for immersing you into Cotard and the city inside the city.

Synecdoche New York really captures you by presenting breathtaking visuals. The shots of the city being constructed are easily the coolest parts of it all , but everything is shot with a masters eye. The colors are never very bright and lots of time the settings are very grimy looking. It's all very detailed and nearing the end it's like watching one thing get topped by another. Seeing all these actors in this huge fake New York is unlike something I've seen before.

It's really funny at times , vastly complex , and has a bleak message of inevitable death. Kaufman describes it as a horror movie and that is one way to look at it , but I see it as one of the most well constructed films with layers and layers of material to entertain you.

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Good review Meaty .

Never thought I'd say that

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Yeah nice review, I am going to have to go see this movie now . You have me interested.

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Nice review Meatface

Land of the Dead (1 viewing)



Romero's return to his zombie series is a failed one. It's much less reminiscent of Dawn and Day and seems like a knock-off of Snyder's remake.

I'll start with the visual aspect. The scenes all take place in very small areas and rarely ever looks decent. Lighting is the only thing that looks good , but what's the use when you have these dull scenes that want to boast their special effects rather than good camera work and sets.

The sad thing is the visuals were the best part of the movie. I can't really talk about the story because I barely remember what it was about after just seeing it. It boils down to a couple of dumb excuses for people to fight zombies. Character dialogue seems to have been written by ten year old kids here. In this realm of characters , people only say what they are about to do and never talk about anything else. Oh yeah and the actors all have cheesy one-liners and sound like they are trying to say all their lines in their deepest voice. Dennis Hopper plays the corrupt President guy and from time to time it looks like he's trying his hardest to keep a straight face and play his hilariously one dimensional role.

Poor writing, visuals, and acting make this the worst zombie movie I have yet to see. It's a shame that Romero can't prove once again that he's the zombie master.

Thanks Meatface I will not be watching this one

OK, but I'm one of the few who enjoys the entirely unpretentious Land of the Dead, no matter how much "undead" lore somebody thinks it may do away with. I certainly think it's much better than Romero's original Night of the Living Dead. (Pile on time!)

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E.T. the Extra Terrestrial (couple viewings)



This movie has such a strong aura when you are watching it , a lot which comes from the amazing musical score. Unlike like Spielberg's Close Encounters , E.T. has remained an emotionally gripping story about alien lifeforms.

The story is about a young boy named Elliot who discovers an alien in his backyard who he calls E.T. - Elliot tries to keep E.T. a secret with the help of his brother and sister and soon they start helping the alien to return back to his home. This is one of the few movies that has believable and funny kid characters and since they are the main characters it's of big importance that you buy their situation.

What really draws me into the movie is the classic score by John Williams who has collaborated countless times with Spielberg , but this is one of his best. All the really fun scenes are accompanied by memorable symphonies - like the flying bike part in the forest. There is also a lot of humor in E.T. The alien is always doing something hilarious and looks funny doing so because of his unusual stature.

It's a very polar opposite of Synecdoche New York. It has a very inspiring message of alien life in the galaxy and captures you in it's magic with an amazing soundtrack.

I like that review and rating. Do you think it's just a coincidence that Elliott could easily be nicknamed E.T. himself due to the spelling of his name? Does anybody else see some common attributes between Elliott and E.T.?

Yeah, they both annoy the piss out of me.

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Awww i love E.T.

Sunshine (2 views)



Sunshine is another example of a movie I hated the first time and I really enjoyed going back to. There really aren't a lot of high caliber sci-fi movies out there and this one has such an original premise that I can't deny it.

This crew of about 7 or 8 people are on a mission to reignite the dying sun. Their objective is to launch a bomb into the center of the sun - which would cause a chain reaction powerful enough to make it whole again. After years of traveling they encounter the old ship that was supposed to do this mission the first time. The crew risks their objective to try and help any possible survivors on board and possibly get their bomb to increase their chances of igniting the sun.

My biggest problem with this movie the first time was the lack of character back-story and development. On this viewing I was much more attached to the characters not through knowing a lot about them , but because of the very realistic acting. The dialogue feels very authentic to what you would imagine a couple of people who have been isolated from the rest of the world for so long. The twists and turns are also treated realistically and always use the characters to surge life into the events that take place.

Something Sunshine does really well is atmosphere. It really feels like you're out in space alone. There are some really cool shots of the ship and the sun every now and then. The sun also has a special spiritual nature that some characters are captured by and it brings a whole other layer onto this movie. Music is what strings the really powerful scenes together though and the songs feel very in place with what's on screen. Not over the top , but gripping.

It's a lot of fun and professionally done. One of the few science fiction movies I enjoy.

Why mention that it is opposite Synecdoche New York?

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Suspect's Reviews

Synecdoche New York doesn't explore space but digs deeper into the already existent world. It doesn't inspire life and hope , instead it's a message of death and lost opportunities.

Okay, but I still don't get why you even mentioned it in your review of E.T.

But whatever.

He mentioned it because he was on a roll and saw a nice compare/contrast goodie. He's transitioning from reviewer to critic.