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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
The Devil's Rejects (Rob Zombie)






"As Brutal As Hollywood Will Ever Get"


Rob Zombie gives us a sequel to 'House of 1000 Corpses' set some months later with the Texas State Police making a full-scale attack against the murderous Firefly family residence for the 1,000+ murders and disappearances of the past several years. But three of the family members escape, including Otis, Baby Firefly and Baby's father Captain Spaulding. The evil trio go on a road trip, leaving dozens of mangled bodies in their wake.

House of 1,000 Corpses was said to bring back the old golden age of horror. After many visits to the MPAA they movie was pushed back a few years. Then when it finally came out, the hype surrounding it ended up being disappointment. Zombie now with more experience behind the camera and with the pen, gives us a sequel to Corpses which is as brutal as Hollywood will ever get.

Where Zombie went wrong with Corpses, he does right in Rejects. No more do we have Dr. Satan, instead we are centred on the core characters of, the insane Otis, the beautiful Baby and the funny man Captain Spaulding. Zombie manages to up the suspense, the story, directing, acting, and of course the gore.

Now I'm not saying that this is a masterpiece of cinema, it's far from it. Although, what Rejects does do is make you feel sick and disgusted with what is on the screen. Exactly what Zombie set out to do. Is it the most brutal movie ever? Of course not, but for Hollywood standards it reaches the extreme level. The film itself seems more gritty and violent because of the grainy film that Zombie uses.

Zombie uses many different techniques in this film, including freeze framing and in a star wars like cutting, slicing to the next scene. With talent in music videos and his debut film, Zombie is able to better himself here. He knows what to shoot now and what not to shoot. With Rejects, Zombie doesn't have the pressure of trying to impress or re-create the genre that he once said he would, instead he is able to focus on what's important.

Rejects has a super-star cast of another kind. No big Hollywood names here, but prominent people in the business nonetheless. From the likes of Diamond Dallas Page and Michael Berryman to the cute E.G.Daily, who does the voice of Tommy of the kids show Rugrats.

The use of music fits perfectly in this film. Freebird is the perfect way to end the film, which changes in sync with the film. Th Allman Brothers Midnight Rider flows wonderful with the freeze framing on the opening credits.

Upon a first impression, I thought that the psychos went on a murder spree throughout the country, now though this is true, the spree isn't as big as one would imagine. After a brutal hotel encounter, the family hide out at Spauldings brother place, where the cops came at them. After that, it's just torture from the lead cop and a great ending. So murder spree gone, this film still has enough shock moments to keep you interested.

Zombie makes a ferocious picture with the aid of a great cast and beautiful music. The film is sadistic and and throat gripping. If you're not a fan of grind house or torture in films, then you might want to skip this carnage. If you're a horror movie fan and love to see the massive slaughter of people, then without a doubt, check out this disturbing little film.

8/10
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Suspect's Reviews



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Jarhead (Sam Mendes)




"Welcome To The Suck...OORAH"


Jarhead (the self-imposed moniker of the Marines) follows Swoff, a third-generation enlistee, from a sobering stint in boot camp to active duty, sporting a sniper's rifle and a hundred-pound ruck on his back through Middle East deserts with no cover from intolerable heat or from Iraqi soldiers, always potentially just over the next horizon. Swoff and his fellow Marines sustain themselves with sardonic humanity and wicked comedy on blazing desert fields in a country they don't understand against an enemy they can't see for a cause they don't fully fathom.

Jarhead is a war movie that actually doesn't have that much war shown in the film. Without any political statements to make, Jarhead simply tells the story of a solider in the war, who desperately wants to kill someone, something, anything. In order to let the madness go away from the unsettling nervousness one would have in a situation like this. So don't see this movie to see some politics because Sarsgaard said it best. "F*ck politics...it's all bullsh*t, it doesn't matter. We're here now." The opening of the film is brings us back to the day when we first saw a film titled "Full Metal Jacket" and while the rest of the film also makes a comparison to it, it is able to distinguish itself as refreshing.

What makes Jarhead so interesting to watch is not the fact that they have to battle an enemy, but rather themselves when they have no one to kill. When your sent to war with all the training and skills to kill an individual and are not able to, it will make you go crazy. So when the opportunity finally comes up for Swoff he jumps at the chance, although when that opportunity is taken away from him at the last second, the sniper scouter, Troy, literally breaks down. This is the stress that the soldiers must constantly go through every day out there. For the soldiers there are only a few outlets for this stress.

Gyllenhaal has the usual soldier goes crazy scene, but here it is compelling and not clichéd. You do not know what the outcome will be, which surprisingly is unique. Then again it could be the fact that Gyllenhaal plays crazy so well...Donnie Darko anyone? From here till the Oscars, I'll wear my Sarsgaard for Supporting Actor Pin. For a character who says welcome to the suck every ten minutes, Sarsgaard is able to give a charismatic and electric performance. Foxx plays the prick drill Sargent, he rough and crude and plays it to a tee. While Foxx has the flashier supporting part, it's Sarsgaard who is more gripping and will ultimately get the recognition.

Mendes has a few "artistic" shots, that are pleasing to the eye. Like the shadows of two soldiers sitting in front of a red/orange sunset, or a soldier standing, while the oil burns behind him.

Powerful and humorous is what Jarhead is, and it can join fight club on the list of guy movies. When every soldier watches the most famous scene from Apocalypse Now, you get pumped up yourself and when they prepare to watch another movie. You get attached to these soldiers and when the one soldier watches "Deer Hunter", you can't help but feel the sorrow that he feels. Or even when Gyllenhaal gets the unexpected 'welcome home' from his girlfriend.

With the final 10 minutes of the film, it tries to throw an emotional punch at you, but misses. It would have hit, if it were not in a montage, but centred more on the topic at hand. If it does punch you, it's a light one because it comes and goes so fast. With no explanation at all. Jarhead is a movie with powerful performances and a great eye behind the camera. It's raw realism owes itself to the book that it was based on. Jarhead goes into the category as one of the few movies that makes me want to read the material that it was made from.


8.5/10



I got for good luck my black tooth.
Originally Posted by TheUsualSuspect
Jarhead (the self-imposed moniker of the Marines) follows Swoff, a third-generation enlistee, from a sobering stint in boot camp to active duty, sporting a sniper's rifle and a hundred-pound ruck on his back through Middle East deserts with no cover from intolerable heat or from Iraqi soldiers, always potentially just over the next horizon. Swoff and his fellow Marines sustain themselves with sardonic humanity and wicked comedy on blazing desert fields in a country they don't understand against an enemy they can't see for a cause they don't fully fathom.
Don't you think you ought to give yahoo.com credit for this paragraph?


synopsis from Yahoo
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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
SAW 2 (Darren Lynn Bousman)




"Saw 2 Is Not As Sharp Or Shocking As Original"

While investigating the bloody aftermath of a grizzly murder, Detective Eric Matthews has the feeling that it is the work of Jigsaw, the notorious killer who disappeared leaving a trail of bodies behind. Jigsaw is indeed back, but instead of two people locked in a room with only one unthinkable way out, there are eight. Eight strangers, unaware of their connection to each other, forced to play out a game that challenges their wits and puts their lives in jeopardy.

James Wan and Leigh Whannell gave us a sharp and unique film last year, which shocked audiences around the world. It also had over-acting, major plot holes and mediocre pacing. Saw II manages to stay away from everything that was flawed with Saw, although, in doing so, it plays it too safe and loses all the shock that it wanted to give us.

Much like the original, you will find some people in impossible situations, which are unique and great to watch. But Saw 2 tries to take it up a notch by putting more people in this situation, the more people you have the more clichés you need to put in. You get the macho guy, the mysterious guy, the pretty girl, the scared girl, the little kid, the one who knows whats going on, and the token black guy.

Unlike the original, where you actually liked the characters, as annoying or over the top they may have been, here you hate them all. You know that most of them, if not all are going to die in some elaborate death, and this keeps us wanting to see more, just so we can watch them die in Jigsaw's house of horrors. Saw 2 focuses more on booby traps then clues for it's players. Even if there were more clues, the people don't care about them, or the director didn't care enough to enlighten us with them.

With these clues, you would expect the people inside to pull together and try to solve this puzzle, instead they all turn on each other. One guy finds out what the first clue was and goes on a killing rampage. It's pretty much the same formula as the first, which makes this saw rusty and dull. The original had many jaws drop to the floor with it's twist ending, and going into Saw 2, you would expect the same. There is a twist, more then one to be precise, which is probably the best thing in this film. Although it never reaches the high-point of the original.

How can a film that has better acting, no as many plot holes and more on Jigsaw not be as good you might as yourself. It's basically the overall feel of the movie. I got chills throughout the entire first film, here I got one. Without ruining it, I'll just say that when the lights went on, my eyes were wide open with disbelief.

Donnie Whalberg is much better in this film, then Danny Glover was in the first. In this installment, he actually has a reason to be here. Aside from the creepy Tobin Bell, Whalberg actually gives a good performance.Everyone else in the house just plays their characters they way they were written. Scream on cue, cry here, and die there.

Excluding the house and all it's traps, the film only showcases one other Jigsaw predicament. A man with a bear trap on his face, who must cut out his own eye in order to get the key to unlock the contraption. Very cool, but not like the reverse bear trap on the girl's jaw from the original. Why did I like the first so much, well it was cool seeing all those little trap he put people in. That was missing from this one. The traps inside the house had no to get out of, the people were doomed and you knew it.

Nevertheless, Saw 2 does end with a twist that sets up a possible third installment. Hopefully in the next one, the saw is sharper and the traps are more convincing. If I were ever in a situation with Jigsaw, I would listen to him carefully and follow his every step, I even yelled at the detective to do so. Saw 2 doesn't put to rest the ongoing debate of whether or not Dr. Gordon is alive or dead and it shouldn't, it should be up to interpretation.

Saw 2 was quickly written and directed because it wanted to ride the success of the first and it shows. If time was taken and people who first brought it to us were still involved, Saw 2 could have surpassed the original. The script was written before Saw came out and had nothing to do with it. Once Saw became a hit, a few changes were made and it became Saw 2. So when a script is not written directly for the sequel purpose, you know you're in for trouble.

6/10



I got for good luck my black tooth.
Originally Posted by TheUsualSuspect
I did Strummer and IMDB as well.
Huh. I don't see it in your post.

Edit: Nevermind, I see it in the very first post. However in each individual review, you don't make it clear what is in your own words and what is cut and pasted from other websites. That seems like plagiarism to me.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Alright, to make it clear, I shall put the plot in italics for what I copy and paste for the plot summary. I will put the note in the first post as well.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
CRASH (Paul Haggis)




"A Great Ensemble Cast Delievers"


Several stories interweave during two days in Los Angeles involving a collection of inter-related characters. A black police detective with a drugged out mother and a thieving younger brother, two car thieves who are constantly theorizing on society and race, the distracted district attorney and his irritated and pampered wife, a racist veteran cop (caring for a sick father at home) who disgusts his more idealistic younger partner, a successful black Hollywood director and his wife who must deal with racist cop, a Persian-immigrant father who buys a gun to protect his shop, a Hispanic locksmith and his young daughter who is afraid of bullets, and more.

Paul Haggis won an Oscar for his work on the Best Picture winner "Million Dollar Baby". While "Baby" itself doesn't deserve the praise that it is given, the writing did. Here Haggis gives us another piece of work that will have some in tears and others filled with rage at the morals of society.

Crash's core theme is that of racism and how it is destroying today's society. Crash tries to get the point across that this prejudice is destroying our ways of communication with each other. The film uses L.A. as it's setting to show us that virtually anyone and everyone can be racist. Which is where Crash faults. Although the film does deal with this theme, about 95% of the characters are racist and uses almost every stereotype to showcase the problems in society.

With those two missteps aside, Crash is a film that delivers everything that is promises to. Brilliant writing, good directing and a cast ensemble that gives us great performances. Paul Haggis wrote characters that had problems and he knew exactly how to present them to us and how to deal with them. Many directors who write the material have a hard time trying to abstract the material to screen. David S. Goyer failed at this with Blade Trinity, but here Haggis has enough experience to know what he wants from his actors and in what direction he wants to take them.

Out of all the performances in this picture the select few that would stand out would be the racist cop, played by Matt Dillion. The successful black director, played by Terrance Howard and the racist wife of the district attorney played by Sandra Bullock. Dillion shows that his character is an egotistical selfish prick, but in the end, we end of not hating him, but feeling sorrow for him. He has the trouble of taking care of a sick father and finally puts the life of an individual before the colour of their skin. Terrance Howard gives a performance that is just as good as his portrayal of a pimp in Hustle and Flow. Howard is able to convey so much emotion through his eyes. Finally Bullock plays a character that is radically different from anything that she has done before and is able to convince us of her fear and hate towards those that are of a different race.

Crash delivers lots of moments of tension and fear for the lives of the characters. I was glued to the screen when the little girl put her "invisbile cape" to the test. All the characters effect the lives of each other whether they know it or not and it all fits together perfectly well. Crash is one of the few movies this year to give us a powerful message.

With a talent writer behind the pen and knowing what he wants in this film, he is able to give us a great film. Along with one of the best cast ensembles to grace the screen since the likes of True Romance. Crash gives us a movie that will make us cry, laugh and feel anger towards. Not many movies these days are able to do this, but Crash makes it work beautifully.

8/10



Originally Posted by TheUsualSuspect
Crash gives us a movie that will make us cry, laugh and feel anger towards. Not many movies these days are able to do this, but Crash makes it work beautifully.

8/10
Great review, this does sum it up perfectly



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Naked Lunch (David Cronenberg)




"Exterminate all rational thought. That is the conclusion I have come to."

Exterminator Bill Lee finds himself following his wife into an addiction to the bug powder he uses. After accidentally killing her, he descends into a hallucinatory existence in which he imagines himself a secret agent answering to a series of bizarre creatures. He channels his energies into writing "reports" on his delusional mission, while trying to break his addiction. The story loosely reflects events in the life of author Burroughs as he wrote the novel.

Author Burroughs wrote this novel while he was on drugs and most of the things that take place did happen in real life, most noteably Burroughs accidently killing his wife. So when you add Canadian David Cronenberg into the mix, it makes Naked Lunch one of those movies that will leave you scratching your head. Not to say that Naked Lunch is weirder then Videodrome, but it certainly is up there.

When you watch a film where the lead character talks to his typewriter after he imagines it transform into a bug who speaks out of it's anus....you wonder to yourself can this be any good? Naked Lunch is definitly a film that you either love or hate, but ironically I'm neither. For those who are fans of Cronenberg, Burroughs, or Weird Films, then definitly check this out.

Peter Weller is the perfect choice for this character, who is clearly insane. He has gone past the melt-down stage of his life and enter a zone of unimaginable thought. Iam Holm plays the nasty old writer who is married to Joan, who is also Lee's wife. Judy Daivs is the leading lady the plays the two characters, who in Burroughs mind tripping novel are the same.

Naked Lunch is exactly what you would expect from the weird mind of Cronenberg who brought us such films like Videodrome and The Fly. Nothing new here, we see aliens, talking anus bugs, huge centipede people and so on. Cronenberg adapts the novel to the screen and uses the dialogue beautifully. He knows what colours to use in this style of film and the work.

The film does suffer from it's length, it stretches to about 2 hours. With that time length it drags in some places and many might be turned off from it's confusing plot line. Which I still do not fully comprehend. But that is the ultimate goal from a film such as this, along with any film from Kubrick. If you fully understand it, then the artist has failed at what they have tried to do. The ending to Naked Lunch may confuse some people, but think hard enough and those who discover the reason behind it will link it to the rest of the film and might enjoy it a little more.

7/10



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
House of the Dead (Uwe Boll)




"The Tagline Reads The dead walk...You run. How Very True."

This film is a prequel to all of the The House of the Dead video games. Set on an island off the coast of Florida, a techno rave party attracts a diverse group of college coeds and a Coast Guard officer. Soon, they discover that their X-laced escapades are to be interrupted by zombies and monsters that attack them on the ground, from the air, and in the sea, ruled by an evil entity in the House of the Dead...

House of the Dead is a popular video game in the arcade, not so much on the home console. Many video game titles aren't very good, Mario Bros, Resident Evil and Tomb Raider failed to please the fans of those games. House of the Dead manages to do something that those films were not able to do. Displease every single person who has ever heard of it.

Uwe Boll is known as the video game filmmaker, after tackling this project and the equally "brilliant" Alone in the Dark, Boll's future projects include Bloodrayne, FarCry and Postal. All of which are video games. Who will get the unfortunate pleasure of being presented to us through the vision of Uwe Boll. It amazes me that this man still finds work today. Why people think he can bring video games to the screen is beyond me because he doesn't bring them to life, he kills them before they even get a chance.

Now onto the film that is known as House of the Dead, well where do I start? There are no redeeming factors of this film. Not the cameo appearance of Clint Howard can save this, not even nudity from random young beautiful women. Uwe Boll somehow manages to take nudity/violence/horror/action/special effects and actually hurt a movie. These things are suppose to make them entertaining.

The film for god know's why has random images from the actual video game in the film. Every time before a death I believe we see someone playing the game. I do not understand the reason behind this. Is Boll intentionally trying to tick off North America....maybe even the word? None of the characters are likeable. The Chinese woman who wears american themed spandex jumps into the "undead" infested water to save the life of a man she met literally 5 seconds ago. She screams his name as if they were best friends.

You can't forget the fact that every single one of these party people are able to pick up and fire a weapon, with 100% accuracy by the way. Can't forget the cool looking stances while shooting them. Well, if you call jumping up in the air with a shotgun a cool looking thing to do. Boll probably thought to himself, how can I make my film cooler...well, let's throw in that thing the matrix did, and now every other action movie is doing. Bullet Time. Horrendous.

The film ultimatly makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever to the viewer, or even those people involved. Everything bad that you've heard about this film is true, but even worse. It goes down in history as one of those movie that you want to smash to bits with whatever weapon you can find but then think to yourself that it doesn't even deserve that. You end up hating yourself for even watching it, or even thinking about watching it.

House of the Dead is a horror movie that has no horror and too much action, It turns from horror to horror-ble. The make-up effects, well...look as if a 12 year old kid painted. Something that they would wear out or Halloween. It's a film like this that make you wonder why it got a theatrical release, or why it would even be considered for a direct to video release. It makes you wonder if you can come up with something better yourself, then you go to the bathroom and actually come up with something better...unfortunatly you have to flush that down.

0/10



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Alone In The Dark (Uwe Boll)




"Boll manages to destroy yet another video game franchise"

Edward Carnby, detective of the paranormal, unexplained and supernatural, investigates a mystery (the recent death of a friend) with clues leading to "Shadow Island" that brings him face to face with bizarre horrors that prove both psychologically disturbing and lethal, as he discovers that evil demons worshiped by an ancient culture called the Abskani are planning on coming back to life in the 21st century to once again take over the world... and only he and a young genius anthropologist with an incredible memory (and his ex-girlfriend), Aline Cedrac, stand in their way, at a gateway to hell. Standing in Carnby's way, however, is the impact that a brief encounter with an evil spirit called the Queen had upon his mind, as he slowly finds himself overpowered by the forces of darkness as they eat away at his very sanity...

Uwe Boll became known to the world with the video game horror based film House of the Dead. After the horrible reviews and box office, someone somewhere decided to let Uwe Boll destroy another video game franchise, this time it's another horror video game, Alone in the Dark. Which frankly is how you should watch the movie, if you have to that is.

Alone in the Dark goes wrong in so many directions, the first would have to be the screenplay, which has too many plot holes and confusing storyline that no one can tell what is going on. Throw into the mix a director that has no clue what he is doing except throwing an explosion here and a shootout there. Boll did one thing right, make the movie about soldiers shooting creatures, instead of your everyday party goers, such as seen in House.

Alone in the Dark suffers from alot of different things, but even if you didn't know who Uwe Boll is or how bad the script actually is, you must be able to notices the horrible casting job. Who in their right mind would think of Tara Reid for a genius anthropologist? Her lines range from horribly delivered, to "hey look over here" or "hey check this out". Slater plays an Indiana Jones type character, who lacks the charm, wit, courage, intelligence...basically everything that makes Indiana Jones.

Stephen Dorff isn't that bad of an actor, he just has the unfortunate curse of choosing bad movie roles. Either he needs a new agent, or needs to get better material thrown his way. Frankly military leader hunting the beast who has conflict with the lead character doesn't do him justice.

Alot of the scenes are laughable when Boll tries to make them hip for the new generation. Such as the characters being in total darkness, then shooting the bullets that have lights on them which light up the characters and the screen. Boll should take some directing lessons and not try to make something look appealing.

It's obvious that Boll doesn't care about the story, or just doesn't understand it, the characters, the music, basically everything that makes a movie with the exception of special effects. Boll tries to make the film cool with it's "slo-mo" and of course the shot where the monster jumps at the screen.

Apparently someone out there thinks Boll is doing something right because he has numerous video game titles on the way, next up is Bloodrayne. I can only hope that when FarCry hits the theatres he will learn from his mistakes and make at least a decent film for once in his life.

1/10



Sir Sean Connery's love-child
1/10, definite signs of improvement for Boll then.
It's one scary ass video game, but when I saw Boll and Slater attached I feared the worst.
Oh well, can't remember the last video game adaptation I enjoyed, don't hold out any hope for Doom.
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