The cure to my depression lies within these films

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And the reason I think I’m not depressed and never have been is that I always am engrossed in films, more so or less. When it comes to film, I’ve never experienced the apathy characteristic of depression. So I guess there’s some good news.
Be very very grateful you’ve never been depressed.
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I’m here only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays. That’s why I’m here now.



Be very very grateful you’ve never been depressed.
I certainly am, and I have seen it up close. Hence I’m very careful to never say I have.

Then again, I was mainly exploring the effect someone else’s depression has on those around them. That should also be “allowed” and I’m sure I don’t need to tell anyone that this can be equally devastating. The depressed people, understandably, couldn’t care less. But I don’t see why someone who doesn’t suffer from depression can’t discuss it.



I certainly am, and I have seen it up close. Hence I’m very careful to never say I have.

Then again, I was mainly exploring the effect someone else’s depression has on those around them. That should also be “allowed” and I’m sure I don’t need to tell anyone that this can be equally devastating. The depressed people, understandably, couldn’t care less. But I don’t see why someone who doesn’t suffer from depression can’t discuss it.
Nobody said you couldn’t discuss it!

I am very very grateful I haven’t contracted the coronavirus. I started the coronavirus thread here & I discuss it all the time.



Nobody said you couldn’t discuss it!

I am very very grateful I haven’t contracted the coronavirus. I started the coronavirus thread here & I discuss it all the time.
Fair enough. I actually do feel apprehensive about discussing it, hence the reaction. My mother is having a new episode, or bout, or whatever, and it’s pretty horrible. I recently paid for a holiday for her and she’s been sending increasingly crestfallen messages regarding the meaning of life and whatnot. It affects me very much, largely in the sense that I start to hunt for signs of this in myself, and it’s been like this for decades.

At this point I’ve sort of withdrawn and am secretly glad I didn’t go with her. But the whole thing is bringing back the feeling I had as a child that I wouldn’t have knowingly chosen to be born to someone with depression. I’m beginning to consider genetic testing and such to determine how likely my kids are to have it and go from there. I say very consciously, aware of all the implications, that I think it’s extremely selfish and unfair on the child.

My father, luckily, is a very upbeat man, so there’s some balance there.

I probably shouldn’t discuss it anyway, because I don’t have a “point”. At this stage I am out of things to do or say, and though I suspect I’ll keep throwing money at her, that doesn’t sound like a great solution, either.



Fair enough. I actually do feel apprehensive about discussing it, hence the reaction. My mother is having a new episode, or bout, or whatever, and it’s pretty horrible. I recently paid for a holiday for her and she’s been sending increasingly crestfallen messages regarding the meaning of life and whatnot. It affects me very much, largely in the sense that I start to hunt for signs of this in myself, and it’s been like this for decades.

At this point I’ve sort of withdrawn and am secretly glad I didn’t go with her. But the whole thing is bringing back the feeling I had as a child that I wouldn’t have knowingly chosen to be born to someone with depression. I’m beginning to consider genetic testing and such to determine how likely my kids are to have it and go from there. I say very consciously, aware of all the implications, that I think it’s extremely selfish and unfair on the child.

My father, luckily, is a very upbeat man, so there’s some balance there.

I probably shouldn’t discuss it anyway, because I don’t have a “point”. At this stage I am out of things to do or say, and though I suspect I’ll keep throwing money at her, that doesn’t sound like a great solution, either.
Please forgive me, but do you ever feel your mother is manipulating you?



Please forgive me, but do you ever feel your mother is manipulating you?
Hell, yes.

But not consciously, you know what I mean?

She’s a natural manipulator. A real full-blown Scorpio, couldn’t have been anything else. So, as Norman Bates said (I’m paraphrasing), “But she can’t help it!”



Hell, yes.

But not consciously, you know what I mean?

She’s a natural manipulator. A real full-blown Scorpio, couldn’t have been anything else. So, as Norman Bates said (I’m paraphrasing), “But she can’t help it!”
Sounds “consciously” to me. You poor thing - a Scorpio mother. They’re the worse & I know this because my late mother was Scorpio. My younger sister is too & she’s just like our mother.

Grudges, grudges & more grudges! Can’t imagine dealing with her if she had been prone to depression. Fortunately, she wasn’t.

I’m gonna sic myself into a bad mood if I drag my nutty family into this so I will stop now.

On a lighter note: living in England I thought my family very dysfunctional. But when I came here & saw real dysfunction, I realized we weren’t that bad. Several friends had the same sibling issues I had, for example. My physicist bro I mentioned more or less walked away from us when he went to uni in London & friends here had the exact same experience with a sibling.

There’s always someone worse off than oneself.



Sounds “consciously” to me. You poor thing - a Scorpio mother. They’re the worse & I know this because my late mother was Scorpio. My younger sister is too & she’s just like our mother.

Grudges, grudges & more grudges! Can’t imagine dealing with her if she had been prone to depression. Fortunately, she wasn’t.

I’m gonna sic myself into a bad mood if I drag my nutty family into this so I will stop now.

On a lighter note: living in England I thought my family very dysfunctional. But when I came here & saw real dysfunction, I realized we weren’t that bad. Several friends had the same sibling issues I had, for example. My physicist bro I mentioned more or less walked away from us when he went to uni in London & friends here had the exact same experience with a sibling.

There’s always someone worse off than oneself.
Heh, you totally got me there. And you’re right. I mean, what a pathetic statement, “not consciously”.

You’re right, let’s leave it. Very glad to know, for some reason, that you understand the Scorpio mother conundrum. And indeed, I imagine the London kind of dysfunctional is a tad neater, so I have that to console myself with. Thanks for discussing this, really helped me, actually. I feel better.



That elusive hide-and-seek cow is at it again
Quickly, regarding the "not discussing something I've never experienced (paraphrased)," I feel the point of discussion is to gain perspective on some topic. Perhaps it's just a slightly different perspective from what one has, or it could be a brand new perspective into a topic that one never knew existed. Discussion, if used properly and without the intent of judgment, is good. Maybe more so for a topic that you might not have direct experience in. How else would you learn about the topic? Or to empathize with others experiencing what may be foreign to you? I don't mean to shift my direction to "you" personally, but you the universal.

Aside from learning of other's experiences, those other readers might gain insight into how to better manage depression (pulling this back to the thread's current topic). I mean, as people share glimpses into their worlds and their processes of dealing or not dealing, new information trickles in for other readers here. Maybe something of all that becomes inspiring. If nothing that grand, then perhaps just knowing others go through something similar can be at least comforting on some level. I mean the assumption of isolation, which can be overwhelming. Adding to that, just the act of participating in the conversation regardless of knowledge or experience suggests interest. That, in and of itself, can be a weird reassurance to others in a moment of despair. That's all assuming users come here in despair to post or read along, but the point is still valid.

Anyway. Bumping an old thread.
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"My Dionne Warwick understanding of your dream indicates that you are ambivalent on how you want life to eventually screw you." - Joel

"Ever try to forcibly pin down a house cat? It's not easy." - Captain Steel

"I just can't get pass sticking a finger up a dog's butt." - John Dumbear



Quickly, regarding the "not discussing something I've never experienced (paraphrased)," I feel the point of discussion is to gain perspective on some topic. Perhaps it's just a slightly different perspective from what one has, or it could be a brand new perspective into a topic that one never knew existed. Discussion, if used properly and without the intent of judgment, is good. Maybe more so for a topic that you might not have direct experience in. How else would you learn about the topic? Or to empathize with others experiencing what may be foreign to you? I don't mean to shift my direction to "you" personally, but you the universal.

Aside from learning of other's experiences, those other readers might gain insight into how to better manage depression (pulling this back to the thread's current topic). I mean, as people share glimpses into their worlds and their processes of dealing or not dealing, new information trickles in for other readers here. Maybe something of all that becomes inspiring. If nothing that grand, then perhaps just knowing others go through something similar can be at least comforting on some level. I mean the assumption of isolation, which can be overwhelming. Adding to that, just the act of participating in the conversation regardless of knowledge or experience suggests interest. That, in and of itself, can be a weird reassurance to others in a moment of despair. That's all assuming users come here in despair to post or read along, but the point is still valid.

Anyway. Bumping an old thread.
I would instinctively agree with you. Then again, there is nuance to this, as I suppose in many ways depression is a health issue, and I know from experience that it’s incredibly frustrating/exhausting when people make comments about a medical condition one has and those making the comments don’t, no matter how well-intentioned these comments are, so I can understand why that might not be perceived as a good idea.

But to me on a personal level, the act of partaking in the conversation is something of an acknowledgment, so perhaps that does help.



Please Quote/Tag Or I'll Miss Your Responses
Quickly, regarding the "not discussing something I've never experienced (paraphrased)," I feel the point of discussion is to gain perspective on some topic. Perhaps it's just a slightly different perspective from what one has, or it could be a brand new perspective into a topic that one never knew existed. Discussion, if used properly and without the intent of judgment, is good. Maybe more so for a topic that you might not have direct experience in. How else would you learn about the topic? Or to empathize with others experiencing what may be foreign to you? I don't mean to shift my direction to "you" personally, but you the universal.

Aside from learning of other's experiences, those other readers might gain insight into how to better manage depression (pulling this back to the thread's current topic). I mean, as people share glimpses into their worlds and their processes of dealing or not dealing, new information trickles in for other readers here. Maybe something of all that becomes inspiring. If nothing that grand, then perhaps just knowing others go through something similar can be at least comforting on some level. I mean the assumption of isolation, which can be overwhelming. Adding to that, just the act of participating in the conversation regardless of knowledge or experience suggests interest. That, in and of itself, can be a weird reassurance to others in a moment of despair. That's all assuming users come here in despair to post or read along, but the point is still valid.

Anyway. Bumping an old thread.
I agree with a lot of what you said.. I would just say no matter how annoying it can be, sometimes judgement can be good. I guess a lot of it depends on the discretion of the one who judges, and the sensibilities (reader, mostly)... I must say I get a bit bugged when someone will say, "Well, that's just like, your opinion" -- well, of course it is. Who else's opinion would it be?

On another site, there's a similar thread, and it's interesting to compare what everyone is talking about. This woman said she'd be available for anyone who wanted to talk, so I got in touch with her, talked for 4.5 hours, which I really enjoyed, but felt worse once our conversation was over. I wonder if it was because I googled her number and saw what I saw, or if it was something else that happened on that site (that I don't wanna get into because it might give someone some bad ideas).

One day, LSD will be used for depression, since I think it's the only thing that will work.

In a chat room, I read this older (but dense) woman say, "Depression is weird. It doesn't make sense, but maybe it's because I haven't gone through it".

I'd like to add, I think if you asked 100 people what "depression" meant, you'd get a hundred different answers. I also think if you take a handful of people who say they are always depressed, that the feeling itself can be quite different.


I'll also say, that watching a great movie makes me feel like I did something productive. Even though I don't have a "smart" phone, I must admit I've fallen victim, despite having experience (I had my own cell phone store 17 years ago, and was in the business since my teens) and observations -- seeing how people go nuts when they're phone doesn't work for 10 seconds. Reminds me of someone who never had a phone, got one, and after a week of having it, he accidentally put it on airplane mode, but wanted to "cut" despite other customers there sooner.... I constantly need stimulus --- laptop, music, video, online conversation, etc... Every night, I tell myself, "Tomorrow...." but I usually revert to my regular habits.



I think there are different types & degrees of depression with different causes.

Usually, I suffer from what I call "direct link" depression - this means I can link my bad feelings to particular events going on in my life. I'm assuming this is "normal" depression everyone experiences from time to time - it's what we call the blues, but it is based on situational occurrences - once negative occurrences resolve (or enough time goes by that we either do something about them or accept them), the feeling lifts.

Then there are people for whom everything is going fine (or at lease normally for them) who are suddenly overwhelmed or immobilized with feelings of sadness or grief for no apparent reason. And this form can persist for long periods of time. I guess this type is closer to "clinical depression."

I remember feeling something like this on occasion as a kid - everything would be normal - I'd be playing with my dinosaurs when I'd go into an almost hypnotic-like trance as feelings of incredible sadness & despair would wash over me. I never knew what it was about or what triggered it (maybe I had some form of telepathic empathic sensitivity?).
The only thing I knew to do at that age was just wait until it passed, then resume life as normal. I do remember calling it, in my head, "the bad feeling."



Please Quote/Tag Or I'll Miss Your Responses
I think there are different types & degrees of depression with different causes.

Usually, I suffer from what I call "direct link" depression - this means I can link my bad feelings to particular events going on in my life. I'm assuming this is "normal" depression everyone experiences from time to time - it's what we call the blues, but it is based on situational occurrences - once negative occurrences resolve (or enough time goes by that we either do something about them or accept them), the feeling lifts.

Then there are people for whom everything is going fine (or at lease normally for them) who are suddenly overwhelmed or immobilized with feelings of sadness or grief for no apparent reason. And this form can persist for long periods of time. I guess this type is closer to "clinical depression."

I remember feeling something like this on occasion as a kid - everything would be normal - I'd be playing with my dinosaurs when I'd go into an almost hypnotic-like trance as feelings of incredible sadness & despair would wash over me. I never knew what it was about or what triggered it (maybe I had some form of telepathic empathic sensitivity?).
The only thing I knew to do at that age was just wait until it passed, then resume life as normal. I do remember calling it, in my head, "the bad feeling."

I kinda work backwards... Feeling miserable, and then thinking of all the negative shit. I wish I could compare, because it always feels... miserable, but there must be levels. It seems like the older I get, the more I can't just ... let it slide off a duck's ass or whatever the phrase is.


I also wonder/think/believe that the constant talking about it makes me think about my problems constantly. Years ago, I never heard the term "depression", and now I read it every hour, so it can to serve as a reminder, like a spark, where you ask yourself this stuff, and constantly reminded of the negativity.



Usually, I suffer from what I call "direct link" depression - this means I can link my bad feelings to particular events going on in my life. I'm assuming this is "normal" depression everyone experiences from time to time - it's what we call the blues, but it is based on situational occurrences - once negative occurrences resolve (or enough time goes by that we either do something about them or accept them), the feeling lifts.
I had never heard this phrase until my internist used it when I saw him in 2016. I needed a recommendation from him as to who would remove the cast on my broken wrist. In addition, my husband had filed for divorce (later withdrawn) & my kitten had died under anesthesia. I was amazed when my doctor referred to these events as “situational occurrences” as though this ameliorated their impact.



Trouble with a capitial 'T'
I had never heard this phrase until my internist used it when I saw him in 2016. I needed a recommendation from him as to who would remove the cast on my broken wrist. In addition, my husband had filed for divorce (later withdrawn) & my kitten had died under anesthesia. I was amazed when my doctor referred to these events as “situational occurrences” as though this ameliorated their impact.
"situational occurrences" geez that's an understatement by the doctor, he should've said it was "serious sh**" Definitely a trying time for you.

Question: if you could get a new kitten or a new husband which would it be



Question: if you could get a new kitten or a new husband which would it be
One marriage has been plenty for me. I would love a new kitten, but haven’t come across one yet. Usually I find them outside in distress & rescue them.



Trouble with a capitial 'T'
One marriage has been plenty for me. I would love a new kitten, but haven’t come across one yet. Usually I find them outside in distress & rescue them.
We've found two abandoned cats and gave them a home, both wonderful additions to our family.



I don't often feel depressed to be honest, but I have two films that help me when I'm troublesome:


Why Has Bodhi-Dharma Left for East

This one helps me to put my feet on the ground, to think about how absurd it is to value the state I'm in.


Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring

This is the most relaxing film I've ever seen in my life. It helps me understand there are different ways people live and lived, and all of them have pain.



I have been wanting to re-watch “The Ninth Gate” recently.. interesting to see that on your list, not often talked about movie but I remember liking it