Movie Diary 2019 by pahaK

Polar (2019) N

An aging assassin is retiring but the company he works for doesn't want to pay his pension. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out what happens.


Polar is the latest terrible Netflix original movie. Even for a film based on a comic it looks awfully cartoony with its exaggerated colors and caricature characters. It attempts to be funny like early Guy Ritchie films but feels like a soulless, brainless copy.

Action is bloody but boring and badly choreographed (at times it looks like no one is even trying to hurt Duncan). Plot doesn't make any sense at all (I'd assume that Blut would have been killed by his own people years ago for being totally incompetent in running his business). Acting isn't terrible but then again everyone is a caricature (I guess Camille is almost a real character).

If you wished John Wick had been more like Deadpool and bright caramel colors is also your thing Polar may be your movie. Otherwise I suggest to stay away from it.

__________________

Once Upon a Time in the West Review:

Totally agree with everything you said, especially the soundtrack. To me, after Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Alexander Nevsky this is by and far the greatest film score ever written, surely Morricone's finest work. The soundtrack alone has often brought me to tears.

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) N

Four libertines in fascist Italy take bunch of boys and girls with them as they enclose themselves in a mansion for 120 days of orgies and torture.


It's been a long time since I've read de Sade and I've never read The 120 Days of Sodom completely (only the introduction has been translated to Finnish but the English translation is on my read list). As far as I remember Pasolini does retain the spirit of the books quite well even though his vision is (for obvious reasons) quite a bit more tame.

Salò is about the abuse of power and how enough (or too much) power makes one immune to consequences. It's about how such immunity tends to remove restraints and how humanity at its core is cruel and selfish, only kept in check by the fear of punishment. And how people turn the blind eye or actively participate in all sorts of atrocities if it benefits their position. Salò is extremely nihilistic movie.

I don't value Pasolini that much as a director and Salò is in many ways clumsy film. For the most parts it's just filmed theater with awkward pacing and occasionally bad acting. It doesn't explain the motives for its characters (unlike de Sade in his book, I'd remember) and it completely lacks the flamboyance of de Sade. It gets its message through though and it has its good moments so I can't say it's bad movie.

Duck, You Sucker (1971) r

A simple local bandit and former IRA explosives expert get tangled up in Mexican revolution.


Follow-up to Leone's greatest film feels lackluster, and not only in comparison to Once Upon a Time in the West but also on its own. Duck, You Sucker is clearly an attempt to move away from Leone's traditional western style but the transition to more modern world doesn't work and the result is an awkward pseudo-western that, despite Leone's claims, feels overtly political (especially the depiction of violence - we see revolutionist kills from afar but Leone always gloats over the regime's violence).

I don't know if it's the lack of Tonino Delli Colli but cinematography feels far less interesting than in two previous Leones. Then again even Morricone's soundtrack is somewhat dull so maybe it's just Leone trying to detach himself from his old style. It's not only the style I miss though as even the substance seems to be lacking - the friendship of Juan and John can't carry the film with them both being so uninteresting characters.

A disappointing film after all the good and great westerns Leone did.

Close (2019) N

Young heiress gets herself a new bodyguard, Sam, who's woman just to prevent the rich brat from having sex with her protector (and for us to have properly empowered movie experience).


Everything in Close screams TV production (even the opening credits are standard British television). Its story plays like bottom of the barrel BBC series and is paced almost as poorly as such show would be if someone was to edit it into a 90 minute film. Acting is the only thing in it that's competent. From mediocre beginning it gets gradually worse all the time.

It's also a sad example of a feminist movie where the most important thing seems to be that all female characters are good and every bad thing happens because of evil men. Not to forget that all men, including professional killers, can be beaten by a woman (even with hands tied behind her back) because instead of doing their job cleanly they always give in to their sadistic desires to oppress women. Obviously all this is more important than good characters, good story or not having blatant errors in continuity.

I like strong female action heroes, I really do. That's why it pisses me off that most films that aim there are carbage.

I would have thought we had a decent track record for opening credits, and not just on the BBC.

Actually I've just been watching Line of Duty and it occurs to me that its titles may have taken some inspiration from Inspector Morse. The gravity of what's happening in the story is definitely conveyed by the stark white cast and crew names on black, intercut with reminder clips of what happened previously (Morse did the same with scenes introducing the story).

I'm not saying that British TV shows have bad opening credits (or at least wasn't trying to say that - added that "bad" after writing the paragraph and I guess it kinda reads like that now). They just have this distinct style and with Close it just adds to the TV vibe.

I removed that "bad" because I didn't know how else to prevent it from affecting the stuff in parenthesis as well

I never like generic opening titles/typography and you definitely don't want to feel like you're watching a TV programme if it's a film. I saw a bit of Europa Report recently and it screamed telly .

Over here this is called A Fistful of Dynamite which is a much better title. Not got round to seeing it yet but I do plan to.

__________________
Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Yeah, I remember it being called that in here as well back in the VHS time. I like that more too but Duck, You Sucker appears to be official.

[Series Review]
Kingdom - Season 1 (2019)

New Korean series on netflix that combines period drama with zombie action and horror. Elsewhere I said it's like a combination of The Strain (or maybe The Walking Dead but I haven't watched that in ages so can't say for sure) and Game of Thrones that takes place in Korea.


Half of the show is fairly standard political power game for the throne. It's nothing new but it's well written and definitely makes sense. The other half is about the zombie epidemic that's quickly spreading. Fast and super aggressive zombies feel truly threatening in the era of swords, bows and muskets. Obviously the two plots are connected too.

Production values are really good. Settings and costumes are great both in the court and on the field. Action is mostly well done and while not ultraviolent it's still quite bloody. Zombies are spookier than average and really angry. Acting is quite good too and even the mandatory goofy Korean comedy doesn't bother that much.

Very positive surprise and I'm surely going to watch the second season once it's done.

Waterworld (1995) R

In the future polar ice-caps have melted and the world as we know is covered in water. A lone drifter gets tangled in the hunt for the Dryland - a myth he doesn't even believe in.


I've never understood why Waterworld bombed so bad. I thought it was good when I originally saw it in theater and the second rewatch today didn't change that opinion. I even watched the longest Ulysses Cut for the first time and didn't find it too long or boring.

At its core Waterworld is very standard post-apocalyptic movie but with huge budget and AAA level production values. It's gimmick of setting it in an endless ocean works surprisingly well and the typical scenes like the attack to peaceful settlement have a fresh look because of the new environment. The boats may not be as fancy as Mad Max's cars but Mariner's Trimaran looks cool and the rusty oil tanker is great home for the smokers.

The film is heavy handed with its environmental message but it manages to be tongue-in-cheek enough and due to that doesn't feel too preachy. Acting is fine and I liked the chemistry between Mariner, Helen and Enola. Dennis Hopper and his smokers are funny in their caricature mockery of American conservative capitalist.

Besides the settings Waterworld has nothing new but it tells a familiar story in an entertaining way.

Brimstone (2016) R

"People think it's the flames that make Hell unbearable. It's not. It is the absence of love."

After a child dies during birth Liz, the midwife held responsible, isn't afraid of the father's drunken rage but the newly arrived reverend. Her past has finally caught up with her and everyone she loves is in danger.


Brimstone is brutal and gut-wrenching story of abuse and control. In it the religion is only a tool for oppression and fertile ground for evil to take root. Its tragedies are born of madness and unquestioning faith where cruelty becomes a virtue with a proper Bible quote. It's also a story of rebellion and love, of making a choice instead of following blindly.

With all it's religious undertones Brimstone feels almost biblical (or maybe anti-biblical). It's like Abraham and Isaac but in the film we have mothers and daughters who eventually refuse the sacrifice and rise against their divine oppressor. Some have complained that Brimstone is misogynist but in my opinion it's the opposite.

Cinematography and direction is great, music is OK (not very memorable but definitely not annoying) and script is mostly good as well (it's silly how Fanning's character doesn't seem to be able to make any sound due to her cut tongue though). Acting is brilliant (especially Pearce does one of the most vile and evil villains ever). I think some small edits could have been made to cut the length a bit.

Brimstone does things you don't expect from modern movies and I applaud it for that. It's heavy and brutal and makes you feel miserable. It has no major flaws, just some minor things keeping it little shy of the perfect rating.

[Book Review]
Books of Blood 2 by Clive Barker

If Barker's first short story collection was uneven the second in the series is much worse. Only on of the five stories is even OK while others are more or less bad.

Best story in part two is The Skins of the Fathers which would have been an average tale on the first book. It starts quite nicely but its explanation of the events (or its mythology) is not very good but at least it paints some interesting visions.

Dread is extremely tame and predictable herald for the torture porn. Hell's Event is perhaps the worst of the pack and I can't understand why Barker thought that running competition that decides the fate of the world is an interesting idea. Jacqueline Ess: Her Will and Testament has some nice ideas but its male characters seem to lack any reasonable motives. New Murders in the Rue Morgue is rather dull tribute to Poe.

Hopefully the third book is better but in any case I'll read something else next.

★½

Road to Perdition (2002) R

A mob enforcer's son accidentally witnesses his father at work. Things go even more wrong after the boss's idiot son panics and decides to get rid of the witness.


It's been quite a while (about 15 years) since I last saw this but I remembered there's something that bothered me. It took me most of the film to figure out what it was. I absolutely hate the ending and the philosophy behind it. That's half a popcorn off the rating right there.

Visually Road to Perdition is beautiful and while I haven't read the comic I can imagine what it looks like. Its depiction of 1930s cities is almost surely flattering but definitely pleasing to the eye. Same goes to costumes and gear - pretty but little too polished and clean all the time. Film Noir styled rainy scenes add some darker tones to the palette.

There's a somber atmosphere in the film and it's rather obvious that there's no happy ending to this. I don't mind the predictability as it comes with the style but those character choices and reactions during the finale were awful. Otherwise characters were quite good and so was the acting (I don't like Hanks though and would have preferred someone else on the leading role).

Initially I though this was better than I remembered. Was planning to give four popcorn but after that stupid end I was contemplating between three and three-and-half but I feel generous today.

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) N

Elvis Presley and JFK (dyed black after the failed assassination attempt) fight against an evil mummy in a retirement home in Texas.


Like so often with these cult classic horror comedies I don't find Bubba Ho-Tep particularly funny. Two main characters are somewhat interesting but even with them the concepts are better than the execution. That black JFK was by far the funniest thing in the movie.

In addition to not being particularly funny the biggest single flaw in the film is its failure to utilize the tools of the media. It feels like almost half of the dialogue is (boring) narration by Elvis which to me screams inability to tell the story through cinematic means. I don't like heavy narration on my films and Bubba Ho-Tep must be one of the worst offenders I've seen.

All the films attempts to have some deeper meanings about getting old and having regrets feel forced (I blame the narration again, it's not emotionally engaging to be told these things by the narrator without much connetion to rest of the film). Its best joke is the concept (Elvis and black JFK in a retirement home) but it's not enough to carry a whole feature film.

Another proof that horror comedies in general aren't my thing, especially the ones with cult status.

I have a soft spot for Waterworld too. A simple and fun premise; I don't know what detractors expected from it. No Escape is another fun OTT Mad Max derivative, only set in the jungle.


I really like BHT, but it's definitely not what it seems at face value. Watching it with a friend prompted us to turn it off halfway out of boredom. Watching it alone, I really got the melancholy associated with aging and death. It seems like it'd be much more outrageous given the premise, but it is occasionally boring, slow, and dramatic. I find the ending, looking up at the stars, bittersweet and beautiful, which is totally not what I initially expected from Bruce Campbell Elvis and black JFK vs. anal-soul sucking mummy in a retirement home.

Opera (1987) N

Young opera singer is stalked by a deranged killer who forces her to watch his murders.


At times I wonder if Argento made his great films by accident and his true (lack of) ability is shown in movies like Opera. It's just hard to imagine how this person made Suspiria and Deep Red merely a decade earlier.

Cinematography looks bad - camera is shaky and nervous, there's nothing left of the visual brilliance Argento had ten years earlier. Murders are choreographed poorly and, if possible, the heavy metal soundtrack is even more out of place than in Phenomena. The story is predictable and insanely stupid at the same time (I knew who the murderer was after his first scene but still the explanation made zero sense, same thing with crows and what was that ending about).

For some reason I fail to comprehend this has a rating of 7.1 on IMDb. Despite of that I thought it was bad.

Really?!

I mean, I'm not huge on Argento like I used to be but I do remember Opera having some amazing visuals and kills, namely the door peep hole bullet sequence. Brilliantly staged, imo. I also thought the movie was shot and lit tremendously. It's strange how people can see two totally different films like that.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) N

Formulaic biography of Queen and especially its lead vocalist Freddie Mercury.


Like most biographies Bohemian Rhapsody is absurdly flawless in its causality and without hesitation points towards exact moments that lead to Queen and its success. I understand that movies (usually) need a story arc but why are biographies always so neat and sterile? Is everyone's life really a perfect hero's journey?

There's nothing specifically wrong in Bohemian Rhapsody from technical point of view. 70s and 80s looks good and autheintic, cinematography is mostly good (not very imaginative though), live sequences work well and the music mostly consists of Queen's better songs. While acting in general is fine I don't really agree with all the praise Malik gets from his Mercury - I don't think he has the charisma and his interpretation is too feminine.

In a way Bohemian Rhapsody is an easy watch but it's not memorable at all. It's a fast food of films, a cinematic Big Mac.