Suspect's Reviews

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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
It's definitely getting my nomination for Biggest Surprised of the Year in this years Mofo Film Awards.
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"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."

Suspect's Reviews



Considering that it's a revenge movie starring Keanu Reeves, I was shocked when John Wick received such a positive reaction from both critics and audiences. Nothing beats a good revenge flick, and I've liked Keanu Reeves since his Bill & Ted days, so I'm very much looking forward to this.

Good review, TUS.
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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Considering that it's a revenge movie starring Keanu Reeves, I was shocked when John Wick received such a positive reaction from both critics and audiences. Nothing beats a good revenge flick, and I've liked Keanu Reeves since his Bill & Ted days, so I'm very much looking forward to this.

Good review, TUS.
I was also surprised at the positive reaction from it, but it is one hell of a flick.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (Harald Zwart)




"Horribly Rushed Effort"

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is like an annoying little brother who desperately wants to hang out with the cooler older siblings. They try to imitate them in every shape and form, yet you know it’s just not meant to be. Instruments, as I’ll refer to it from here on out, is a rushed, half assed attempt at cashing in on a current craze of YA novels.

Young Clary begins seeing this weird symbol everywhere she looks, it turns out that she is a descendant of a line of warriors known as Shadowhunters, who protect the mortal world from vampires, werewolves and other demons. When her mother disappears, Clary finds herself smack down in the middle of a war in a world that only she can seem to see.

As I watched Instruments, I thought to myself, “You know what? I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but Twilight is better.” When I finished the film, I knew it to be true. At the very least, Twilight knew what it wanted to be. This film unfortunately has absolutely no idea. It is all over the place. I don’t know if this is a result of a bad script adaptation or if the source material just isn’t strong enough. On top of that, the film is horribly miscast, visually bland and obnoxiously hollow.

Our main protagonist, Clary, played by Lilly Collins, has zero personality. As I’m writing this, I can barely remember a thing about her. Why was she cast in this role? Her co-star doesn’t fare any better. Jamie Campbell Bower is Jace, a mysterious blonde warrior who broods, has defined cheekbones and a sexy accent. So what about the chemistry between these two? It’s non-existent. The supporting cast doesn’t help the film either. Lena Headey, Jared Harris, CCH Pounder, Robert Sheehan, Kevin Zegers and Jonathan Rhys Meyers all turn in bland performances. One of my favourite bits is when one characters turns to another and questions their sexuality. This happens out of nowhere, for no reason and has no resolution. A lot of things like this happen.

The reason for such mistakes in the plotting and character development has to be because they want to save all this stuff for a sequel. Here is another instance of randomness that is never solved; a vampire bites one character and our main character notices this. What does she do? Tell him? Tell others? Try to find a cure of some kind? Nothing. She literally does nothing. Then this plot thread is never brought up again. You’d think she would be concerned given their relationship in the film, but she plays it off as if it is nothing.

With weapons that do whatever the characters asks for, poorly choreographed fight sequences and laughable special effects, this film is a horrible mess that deserves to be missed. You can’t throw together a film just because it has a built in fan base already. The producers of this film learned that the hard way, as there are no plans for a sequel. The film did terribly, was trashed by critics and they are already thinking of rebooting it to a TV series. Hopefully they will pay more attention to some character development, story and pacing because the film version is a huge misfire.




28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Before I Go To Sleep (Rowan Joffe)




"Forgettable Thriller"

Have you ever wondered what the Adam Sandler flick, 50 First Dates would be like if it were a dramatic thriller? Well some people thought so and here we have the film Before I Go To Sleep.

Christine, Nicole Kidman, wakes up everyday with no idea who she is, who the man lying next to her is, or even where she is. This is a result of a horrific accident, which she can’t remember. So it is up to her husband, Colin Firth, to remind her, every single day. One morning she is contacted by a doctor, Mark Strong, informing her that they have met numerous times for a number of sessions. Using a camera that the doctor gave her, she begins to document her life, hoping to find out answers and remember the past, yet what she discovers is that some people are hiding the truth from her. Raising more questions than answers.

Dunn…Dunnn…Dunnnnnnn…

Based on a novel of the same name, I kept thinking to myself how much better the book must be compared to this film. I can picture myself reading it, enjoying it, turning every page and being surprised by some reveals. The film on the other hand, forces us to be with Nicole Kidman, who hasn’t had a decent performance in 5 years. Kidman has a somewhat easy task here. Just look confused for two hours and shocked every time you find a secret. It’s a pretty by the numbers performance. Colin Firth has the difficult task of trying to come off as untrustworthy, yet sentimental. Every time that Christine finds out a new piece of information that goes against what he has told her, he seems to have a justifiable reason. This muddles her view of who to trust. Can she trust her husband? Can she trust her doctor? Who is using her? Who is really helping her?

The audience is in the position of Christine. Except when twists are revealed, we get to remember them. She doesn’t. You’d think that would come into play a bit more. Having the audience be on the same level as Christine, until we pull ahead knowing the truth, while she is stuck behind us, forgetting it the next day. Unfortunately this doesn’t really happen (save for one sequence) and the thrilling aspect of the film kind of loses momentum.

I will say that the reveal of what is really going on was neat. In a film like this, you have many wild accusations. I sure did, I was hoping one of them would land. It did, kind of. The reveal is one of those…let’s not try to think TOO hard about it, because once you do, the whole thing sort of falls apart. So let’s try and stick with the shock in the scene, enjoy it for that moment and move on. Never question it people. NEVER QUESTION IT!!!! But, we do question it and it brings the film down a peg.

Before I Go To Sleep is an interesting idea that never really reaches its full potential. Which is a shame, because even the Adam Sandler picture was better than this.




28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
The Man From U.N.C.L.E (Guy Ritchie)




"Pleasantly Surprising Spy Flick"


The Man From U.N.C.L.E is one of many spy films to come out this year. With James Bond, Ethan Hunt and even Melissa McCarthy’s Spy crowding the theatre, how is one spy film supposed to stand out? The trailers for U.N.C.L.E didn’t do it any favours, as I had no real interest in seeing the film. Yet somehow I found myself sitting in the theatre, popcorn in hand with Guy Ritchie’s new flick playing on the screen in front of me. As the credits rolled, I sat there saying to myself; “You know what, it wasn‘t that bad”.

To describe the film would be pointless. It’s a spy movie, so expect some twists, some turns, some cool gadgets and exotic locations. U.N.C.L.E hits all these marks and more. Set in the 60’s (so those cool gadgets seem archaic to us), we have two spies, one American, the other Russian, going after the same goal. Can these two egos work together, or are they simply putting up with each other until one comes out ahead?

We have Henry Cavill, a Brit playing an American. Armie Hammer, an American playing a Russian and Alicia Vikander, a Swede playing a German. I think the only person who plays their actual nationality is Hugh Grant. Despite the crazy switching of accents, everyone does a great job here. The cast really looks like they’re having a fun time with this film. That’s the one word I would use to describe this flick, FUN. Very few films seem to want to have fun anymore. It’s all about being dark and brooding. This was a delightful release from that.

Guy Ritchie, whose films range from great (Snatch) to utterly terrible (Revolver) seems to be back on his A-game. I felt that both Sherlock films were decent entertainment, but this time around there seems to be more excitement behind the camera. There is a giant raid sequence, which we only get to see glimpses of, through a comic book style action sequence. It was interesting to see him side step what would obviously be a routine action scene. He follows that with a chase sequence where we are high above the action zooming in on the characters. Each one of them at a different section of the terrain, yet it still holds thrills for the viewer.

I’m sure everyone had fun with the costume designs here. There is even a scene dedicated to such a thing. Our two main characters argue over what the young lady should be wearing. Any choice would have been fine with me, as they all look spectacular.

I might be over selling the film a bit, as I did say that I was not expecting much out of it to begin with. Call me pleasantly surprised with the result. I wouldn’t tell anyone to rush out and see it, but if they should happen to surf upon it on their television or see it available on demand. Give it a go. I’m sure you’ll have…oh, what’s the word I’m looking for…fun?




All three of those movies are trash. Man from Uncle being the "best" of the bunch.



Before I Go To Sleep is an interesting idea that never really reaches its full potential. Which is a shame, because even the Adam Sandler picture was better than this.
TBF 50 First Dates did have one major selling point this doesn't.

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5-time MoFo Award winner.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Delivery Man (Ken Scott)



Means well, but watch the original.

In 1997, Michael Haneke gave us the terrifying film Funny Games. Ten years later, Haneke gave us a shot for shot remake, only this time it was in English. Ken Scott treads familiar ground with Delivery Man, which is basically a shot for shot remake of his original film Starbuck….only this time, you guessed it; it’s in English.

Why do shot for shot remakes exist? Did people not learn from Gus Van Sant and Psycho? Is there such a demand for English speaking versions of hit foreign movies? These questions plague my mind when I see something like this pop up. They say Spielberg saw Starbuck, fell in love with it and immediately wanted to have an American remake with a bankable star; enter Vince Vaughn.

Vaughn plays David Wozniak, a lazy meat delivery driver who has a lot of debts. His girlfriend tells him that she is pregnant, but needs someone more stable in her life. That same day he discovers that he has fathered 533 children from his 600 plus sperm donations. This new information sparks a change in him and he sets out to meet as many of these kids as possible, with none of them knowing who he really is.

The joy of the original was the heart on display through every frame. Patrick Huard had the right amount of vulnerability and empathy to make the audience care for him and his troubles. Vince Vaughn has the trouble of overcoming his Hollywood persona. For the most part, he makes it work. Gone is his sarcastic fast oddball style humour and in place of it is an earnest performance with charm. While the emotional impact of most of the film is lost on people who have seen the original, I can’t fault Vaughn for trying here.

The supporting cast includes Chris Pratt as David’s best friend, father of four and lawyer. As well as Cobie Smulders, David’s girlfriend, mother to be and desperately needing a steady man in her life. Pratt is his usual self; sarcastic and charming while Smulders is given next to nothing to work with. The original didn’t have much for the character to begin with either, but I can’t help but feel it's lost even more here.

I’m not going to say to avoid this film. It’s decent enough and means well. I will say that if you want to watch this “story” to check out the original. It does everything this film does, only better.





28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Black Sea (Kevin Macdonald)



"The only thing more dangerous than the mission. Is the crew"

An under-sea salvage worker is let go from his job, recently divorced and estranged from his son. He is given the opportunity of a life time for a job that pertains to his particular skill set. There is a story about a german u-boat carrying gold bars that sank off the coast of Georgia. He is tasked with the job of retrieving that gold, with the crew of his choosing. But what happens when the crew figures out that the less people there are to share it with, the bigger their portion will be.

Simple story, simple premise, simple locations. Black Sea might not be very deep (ha), but Macdonald showcases some raw direction paired with strong performances from gritty men, lead by Jude Law. My experience with Macdonald has been the really well done political thriller State of Play and the poorly executed Channing Tatum flick The Eagle. So in my books the man is 1/2. With Black Sea, Macdonald is back in my good books and has me interested in seeing what he has cooking up for us in the near future.

If you haven't heard of the film, don't sweat it. The film went under the sonar. Which makes it all that more enjoyable. This film surprised me. I wasn't expecting much, especially from Jude Law, but everything about this film delivers. Yes, let's all get over the absurd story right at the beginning. We have a dozen guys, half British, half Russian (real Russian actors too) who are willing to kill each other at the drop of a hat. Let's put them in a tight space under thousands of gallons of pressure. Nothing can go wrong right? Let's add to the mix that one of these men is a genuine psycho, but he's so good at his job we have to have him. Okay, that out of the way? Than buckle in for an intense underwater thrill ride that is dirty and gritty and just the right kind of "guy" movie.

Supporting Jude Law's 'take no BS' performance is Ben Mendelsohn (say one wrong word to him and your dead), Scoot McNairy (has no business being in the position he is in) and Konstantin Khabenskiy (wrong place, wrong time). None of the crew likes each other, they don't sugar coat anything and on top of that, they have to deal with language barriers.

There are some pretty tense filled moments here. One particular set piece is when some of the crew has to venture outside the sub in search for a possible location of the u-boat. We can't quite see what's out there in the murky water, but we know it's not good. Macdonald plays with this notion. We are stuck out there with them, helpless and only one little cable as our life line. Do we trust the men back at the boat to guide us to safety? Do we have enough air to make it there and back? Is there even anything out there?

Are parts of this film predictable? Of course. The film doesn't try to subvert anything. It knows what kind of film it wants to be and plays to the notion perfectly. Macdonald relies on the claustrophobia and sense of death at every turn. We might not like every character, but we want something good to happen for some of them. We want them to work as a team, even if we don't really want all of them to live.

Ask yourself. What was the last good submarine movie? Black Sea is the answer because U-571 was 15 years ago.




Master of My Domain
Haha it looks like Iro won't be first place in review amount yet.

Nice reviews.



Thursday Next's Avatar
I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
I liked The Eagle. Also, you should see The Last King of Scotland. I'll definitely be checking out Black Sea though.



Ask yourself. What was the last good submarine movie? Black Sea is the answer because U-571 was 15 years ago.

WTH does U-571 have to do with good films? That was rubbish.

I remember this coming out. Mark Kermode quite liked it for what it was. Though I think most of the talk was about the poor Aberdeen accent.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
WTH does U-571 have to do with good films? That was rubbish.

I remember this coming out. Mark Kermode quite liked it for what it was. Though I think most of the talk was about the poor Aberdeen accent.
U571 was the last submarine film I remotely remember people even "talking" about.