Gatz Flick Critique

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Master of My Domain
Decided to make this thread because personally I enjoy writing and has gained lots of interest in film criticism since opening my eyes to the world of movies. Please take note that I am no person like JayDee or Rodent so please mind even if it has grammar mistakes and structural errors. Also I would appreciate it very much if you pointed out how to improve my reviews. Thanks.

Films Reviewed So Far:

No.1 The Room

Master of My Domain
The Room

Starring: Tommy Wisseau, Greg Stestero, Juliette Daniel
Directed by: Tommy Wisseau

Flim No. 1, Review No.1

Ah, The Room. The Casablanca of all bad and ugly films (Plan 9 From Outer Space is the Citizen Kane, but that's up to you). It's sublime horribleness is surely something that will not be equaled again for many, many years. In fact, its so bad that I consider it to be a good film, especially in terms of comedy, This movie gives you the pleasure of watching one of those 'worst auditions' videos, where you howl in laughter of disbelief mixed in with joy. If put to numbers its the subtraction of a negative number, which ends you up with a positive number. And the funny thing is the bigger the negative number the bigger the positive number you'll end up with.

I want to introduce the plot to get this starting, but to be honest there is no proper plot to be explained. The movie is a crazy train that in the ends up crashing and burning into flames, Skidding left and right before the crash is the unsolved random plots to being with. Lots of more interesting sub-plots than the main plot (if you would call that a plot, that is) get introduced but ended up getting trashed for no reason at all. As an example Lisa, played by Juliette Daniel finds out her mother has breast cancer and its brought up multiple times only to be worthless and forgotten. These things make the movie way longer than its supposed to be... thank goodness its backed up by the laughs made unintentionally.

Oh and speaking of laughter there's the one guy that handles most of it, which is the legendary Tommy Wisseau, He shows his genius in the film by creating outrageous laughter from his horrendous and almost surreal acting and speaking many languages (English, Blabbish, Drunk French, and a mysterious language we'll call 'Wisseauian'). What makes it even worse is that he's apparently NOT acting, According to people he acts likes that in real life as well, The other chaps are indeed acting, but that doesn't mean that they are above Wisseau's level of ability. They are often not even looking at the camera being seriously out of focus and have no true emotion coming out from their lines and facial expression.

The ridiculous scenes and dialogue is another thing to look out for, especially the rapid change of scenes which is commonly used in the movie. Tommy and his group of buddies go from anger to happiness in a matter of seconds, and suddenly start to play football in the middle of going to a party. I guess it was Wisseau's idea to cram as much 'entertaining' stuff as possible into one film, but without a proper foundation its guaranteed to mess up, and that's just what he did.

I could go on and on about all the hideous/genius things in this film, but this is something you have to see in order to believe. If you're bored of the usual comedy flicks and want something unique and over-the-top, this is for you. Or if you're taking acting classes and is currently depressed because you suck, all you need to do is watch this movie and let the wounds heal.


Thanks for reading.

Master of My Domain
Watch Birdemic: Shock & Terror.
Already did. That movie is more terrifying than Hitchcock's The Birds lol

Master of My Domain
The Italian Job (1969)

Starring: Michael Caine, Noel Coward, Benny Hill
Directed by: Peter Collinson

Film No. 2, Review No. 2

I didn't enjoy the 2003 remake that much so it was natural that I had no expectation for the original, nor was I a fan of the caper genre. However I was surprised to realize, from the start of the movie to the end, that this was an excellent movie.

One of my favorites scenes in the film is the opening scene where the overall mood is set. The beginning is very peaceful and somewhat drowsy with views of mountain and the credits. As soon as I start to question if the movie is going to be pace-less the whole time the car suddenly explodes, caught in the prearranged trap of the mafia. The shock is increases with a bulldozer shoving the car off the mountain with the camera calmly following the wreckage falling to its doom. From that moment on its a fun, energetic and sometimes fun movie.

This movie unlike a lot of ones with a similar genre today focuses a lot on character development, which I actually think is really important in these kind of films. It may be just something only I feel, but it helped me get in the action way better, understand why the characters were doing certain things. The slight boringness development is backed up by British wit and good acting coming from the shockingly charming young Caine in the role of Charlie Crocker and especially Noel Coward.

The film stands at a little less than 100 minutes and has a very simple plot of stealing 4 million dollars worth of gold. Some people complain that this made the movie predictable and not complex in a 'masterpiece' type of way, but I disagree hugely. This movie is intended to be a simple, entertaining, and exciting heist film and pulls it off very well. One thing I agree on with though is that the movie is a teeny bit short, because of the fun it contains. Its a rare case for me, but I wanted a sequel to be made, but unfortunately the only option of more is the remake.

Thinking hard on the philosophical themes of the movie was definitely not needed, therefore I really enjoyed my time. If you're looking for a way to get rid of stress with some good chase scenes and the fun slyness of stealing loads of money without having to watch some mindless sh*t I recommend The Italian Job, one of the most fun jobs that exist.


I'm pleased you enjoyed it so much, Gatsby. I'm not much of a fan of the film, but you can see why so many people were disappoint in/knew the remake would be crap.

I hope you like a few of the other British films you see for the challenge, too. I'm not expecting too many more 5/5, though. Unless you give them out willy nilly.

Master of My Domain
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Starring: Martin Freeman, Ian Mckellen, Richard Armitage
Directed by: Peter Jackson

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is the last chapter in the Hobbit series, and it was something that I had lots of anticipation for. After watching two average and kind of disappointing ones I was hoping the last one would be interesting and nicely complete the series. However it failed to deliver what I expected leaving me exit the theater in a bad mood. Let's see what went wrong.

The main problem is that this movie is... well a battle of five armies, That's all. The title and story is very self-explanatory to the point where it became its biggest fault. Most of the film is fighting after fighting, armies after armies. These big scale battles made it bit more entertaining than the last two, but it drags and drags on and ends up becoming sort of a worn out rag at the end.

Return of the King actually has more fighting scenes and battles, but its way more entertaining, having amazing camera work and spectacular sequences mixed in with plenty of emotions we can relate to. The battles in this film are stuffed with not beautiful landscapes and set- but stuffed with green screens and computer generated almost 'video game' movement. The action is not creative with everyone doing nothing but hack and slash. In Lord of the Kings series the battles are beautiful and powerful, in the Hobbit series the battles are fake and heartless.

About the emotion and character, yes there is plenty, but we can't relate it. Could you relate and get into characters that fight over some fictional stone? I cried a bit at the scene where Sam and Frodo long their home near the fiery entrance of Mount Doom. Such tears were extinct and even retracted during this new Middle-Earth adventure. The lack of dialogue involving character development is a huge bonus problem as the almost the entire production was focused on the battle of the armies.

A single LOTR book is thrice the length of the Hobbit book, made into three films. The Hobbit series is three films from a book that is... yeah you see the problem here? In the book the battle of the five armies only takes up 20 to 30 pages, which is a serious lack of source material. Peter Jackson tries to throw in goblins, necromancers, trolls... practically everything that can go into war at you but it doesn't work that much as the series was pretty much set for doomsville the moment Jackson decided it was going to be a trilogy.

Conclusion: The film isn't boring, that's not a problem at all. As I said before, the fun in this movie is empty and soulless which is the fault in what could have been an amazing conclusion. Your eyes will receive tons of candy and your mind will excited throughout the film, On the contrary, your heart will certainly not be moved.


Master of My Domain
I really want this thread to be full of discussion- cmon guys I know some of you are real chatterboxes.

Bright light. Bright light. Uh oh.
I really hate The Room. It has some camp value but not enough. The Italian Job is fast and funny and has a terrific ending, "This is the self-preservation society." I haven't seen The Hobbit 3 yet.
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

I haven't seen anything you've reviewed yet, so I can't comment too much, but I just want to let you know that I'm reading and enjoying your reviews. Keep them coming.

I enjoyed The Desolation of Smaug more than most people, so I'm hoping to get to the theater sometime this week to see the third and final installment.

Master of My Domain
I really hate The Room. It has some camp value but not enough. The Italian Job is fast and funny and has a terrific ending, "This is the self-preservation society." I haven't seen The Hobbit 3 yet.
That's okay. The Room isn't for everybody.

Master of My Domain
I haven't seen anything you've reviewed yet, so I can't comment too much, but I just want to let you know that I'm reading and enjoying your reviews. Keep them coming.

I enjoyed The Desolation of Smaug more than most people, so I'm hoping to get to the theater sometime this week to see the third and final installment.
Thanks Captain, glad you're enjoying reviews from a critique virgin.

A little question for everyone... anything you would like me to review next?

Maybe another so-bad-it's-good film such as The Room? Having the most rep it seems the most people liked it lol

Master of My Domain
Snowpiercer (2013)

Starring: Chris Evans, Song-Kang-Ho, Tilda Swinton
Directed by: Bong-Jun-Ho

Based on the French graphic novel Le Transperceneige, Snowpiercer is the lastest film by director Bong-Jun-Ho, a great South Korean director who's specialty is making dark and gritty movies that perfectly blend mainstream elements with arthouse. When I first heard him announce this brand new project of his, I was excited because I knew it would fit him perfectly.

Luckily I was right. Bong's directing style perfectly captured the murkiness of a post-apocalyptic revolution. Not only that, I could see him throughout the film trying different styles in order to adapt to certain scenes, which worked surprisingly well. Without these multiple adaptations it would have been a dark and depressed ride without any ups and downs, especially because its on a train for the whole time where you have limited space and materials for creating thrills and emotions, rather Bong uses the downsides of a claustrophobic setting and turns it into a great strength.

Chris Evans gives the best performance he's given in his career, suppressing his role of Captain America in every way. When in Captain America its 'Captain America'-ish from straight to end in Snowpiercer Chris Evans manages to deliver a variety of acting. The supporting actors and actresses were even huger in terms of their performance, often overshadowing Chris Evans very easily. The one I thought was the best out of the pact is of course Tilda Swinton in her role of Minister. Her speeches sent shivers down my spine, and remains terrifying and crazy every moment she's on the screen. As I explained in these three paragraphs, the film begins with a promising beginning

Unfortunately this promise isn't kept that well. Or is it because the hopes were too high that is blinded me in making me see the truth? Honestly I don't know.

If the movie is a lollipop, the main problem is that the story only licks it, and doesn't even attempt to dig in more and get sweeter and sweeter. There are so many themes that are missed while attempting to keep bringing our heroes to the front tail. It shows you the brainwashed children, it shows you the miserable places, it shows the cruelty but it only ends with the lasting effect of wandering around looking at animals at a pet store.

Not only is the focus is rushing to the front, but its showing us lots of action, would should have not happened. The action scenes in my opinion should only have been used to develop characters and propel the movie forward, not make it a use for dumb entertainment.

At least its pretty good. There's a scene in some sort of sauna where Curtis fights with one of Wilford's, the train's creator and head, best men. The lighting used in the scenes was one of the best I've ever seen. its bright and menacing at the same time, and also has a dooming warmth to it. The punching and the stabbing seem realistic, in contrast to cowardly Hollywood PG-13 fights. Even the R rated fights produced in Hollywood are full of scared people afraid of controversy. The action, especially the scene was indeed a breath of fresh air from the toxic fumes.

When the story actually does get to its main purpose, the front of the train and the engine room which Curtis and his followers need in order to take over the entire moving prison of death, it screws up. I'm not going to tell you how though because then it would be a major spoiler, but I will say it topples everything built up. The ending was supposed to be the best part being a film about a giant revolution, the final chapter of it decides whether its going into history books or not, and it was a complete piece of sh*t.

I know this movie revolves around moving forward, I know what this movie is all about (the viewing before writing my review was my 3rd time watching). I get it... however the thing that bothers me so much, again, is the things that is misses and it doesn't get a hold of what it is between a political allegory (which thankfully worked the best, I'm pointing at you, the wealthy 20 percent!), a gloomy and satirical action film, and a bunch of other stuff ending up in Snowpiercer only ending up to become lost souls.