← Back to Reviews
in
The film is spectacularly stupid! I would say the script appears to have been written by a 12-year-old, but I think that would be harsh on 12-year-olds all over the world. And the stupidity kicks in right from the opening moments. The Die Hard films are sometimes ridiculed for the amazing coincidence that John McClane always seems to find himself in trouble. At least it has the reasoning of him being a cop, recognising trouble and feeling the duty to make things right. To place Annie in peril for a second time the writers come up with the genius idea of having her fall in love for the second time (and unwittingly by the way) with a SWAT officer, following her romance with Reeves' SWAT officer Jack Traven in the original Speed. To fall for two SWAT officers, and then randomly end up in such danger twice – what are the odds? Whatever they are its incredibly tough to buy into. And then you've got the villain's backstory. Geiger is apparently dying from copper poisoning as a result from working with computers for so long! What?!!! And his solution to try and beat it? Use leeches to suck out the copper and extend his life! WHAT?!!! What in the hell are you talking about? It basically comes across as an excuse just to give him a gimmick (the leeches) in line with a Bond villain or something. The Bond franchise had already taken the facial scars, metal teeth, mechanical hands and eh...a third nipple? 
So apparently all they had left was leeches!
|
|
Year of release
1997
1997
Directed by
Jan De Bont
Jan De Bont
Written by
Jan De Bont
Randall McCormick
Jeff Nathanson
Jan De Bont
Randall McCormick
Jeff Nathanson
Starring
Sandra Bullock
Jason Patric
Willem Dafoe
Temuera Morrison
Sandra Bullock
Jason Patric
Willem Dafoe
Temuera Morrison
Speed 2: Cruise Control
-
Plot – Annie Porter (Bullock) has split up with her SWAT boyfriend from the first Speed film, and fallen in love with a cop (Patric) who has a nice safe patrol on the beach. Or so she thinks! Turns out he too is a SWAT agent. In an effort to assuage her anger he takes her on a Caribbean cruise. A holiday in paradise right?Not with John Geiger (Dafoe) around it won't be. A disgrunted computer genius who designed the ship's computer, he is now dying from copper poisoning, and furious at the company for letting him go wants revenge. He disables the ship and plans to steal a large cache of diamonds that are on board. But he hadn't counted on Annie and her new fella!
Oh fate can be a cruel and wicked mistress sometimes. Rodent recently reviewed this film and in his thread I mentioned how I had never seen this film despite loving the first Speed film. Well just a couple of days later and I see it's on TV. Was it fate? Was it a sign? Ignoring the fact that it's actually on TV on a surprisingly regular basis I decided to take it as such. Well to be honest it was more of a cruel trick than anything else. Anyway onto the review and let me start my review by asking a question.
If a tree falls in the forest and there's no-one around to here it, does it make a noise? And in that same vein; if an action film has no action can you still classify it as an action film? Ok perhaps saying it has no action is a bit over the top but it's certainly not the action-packed spectacle you would expect. There are barely any examples of classic action genre tropes such as explosions, gunfights, hand to hand combat etc. For the first 20-30 minutes the film is basically just a romance piece about the relationship between Annie and Alex (a romance I honestly could not care less about) with merely the odd hint at the threat Geiger is going to pose later. For a large chunk of the running time it then morphs into a disaster film in the Poseidon Adventure mould. So for what feels like an hour the only 'action' is watching people wobble from side to side to mimic the ship's movements, very much like the old Star Trek series. It's only as the film nears its conclusion that you could say it becomes a classic piece of action. And I mean classic as in typical of the genre, not as in its good! Even then the moments of action are poorly handled and underwhelming, though the moment where the boat crashes straight into the middle of a town is kind of cool. Kind of!
Film trivia – Keana Reeves made perhaps the wisest decision of his career not to return for this sequel, instead opting to go on tour with his band Dogstar. However even those who did star in the film seemed to do it only for ulterior motives. Jason Patric used his entire salary for the film to finance his own film, Your Friends & Neighbours. While Sandra Bullock only agreed to return merely to get her pet project, Hope Floats, off the ground.
So apparently all they had left was leeches! Willem Dafoe is a good actor and someone I personally quite like. However his character is a basic rent-a-villain and Dafoe is given absolutely nothing to work with. As a result he is relegated to laughing maniacally as his only way to try and create menace. He really could have done with some minions under his control to add a bit of colour to proceedings. While it's perhaps just as likely that a sole individual with a computer can cause as much havoc as a whole team of goons, it's nowhere near as fun. I've got to say that I really like Sandra Bullock, I find her to be a rather delightful screen presence. However she is completely undermined by the writing here which turns her likeable character from the original Speed into a mere annoyance here. Filling in for the departed Keanu Reeves, Jason Patric is spectacularly bland as the hero of the piece. He appears so far out of his comfort zone and comes across so incredibly wooden. You really know you've had a bad day when you're outshone in terms of charisma and charm by Ted “Theodore” Logan. Together Patric and Bullock have absolutely zero chemistry together, and throughout the film I was just wondering why exactly is Annie with this guy?
With all of these complaints and flaws it may seem strange to say but I actually didn't completely hate this. I wouldn't say I particularly liked it either but I really didn't find it all that dreadful, certainly not the massive turkey I expected. Perhaps that played a big part. Had I gone to the cinema back in 1997 expecting a good film I'd have been crushed. But all these years later and after everything that's been said I knew I was in for a dreadful film. But I found it a pretty easy watch and it seemed to breeze by pretty quickly and painlessly, perhaps in a so bad it's entertaining kind of way. Though as I mentioned at the end of my Enemy Mine review I'm very much under the weather at the moment so perhaps I'm a little delusional! Or maybe I was happy just to switch my brain off and go along for the ride. At least I didn't go as insane as Roger Ebert who somehow gave this 3 out of 4 stars!!! 
Or maybe I was happy just to switch my brain off and go along for the ride. At least I didn't go as insane as Roger Ebert who somehow gave this 3 out of 4 stars!!! Conclusion – So how do you follow up Speed, one of the definitive movies of the action genre? With the absolute palest of imitations! A film which disposes with all of the best elements of the first film (Reeves, the frenetic pace, the playful and likeable personality Annie had, a proper villain, an actual sense of danger and threat, memorable set-pieces) and retains...well not much. A film which feels like one of those straight to DVD, cash-in sequels or even pretty close to a parody of the original.