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Feast (2005)
Directed by: John Gulager
Written by: Marcus Dunstan, and Patrick Melton
Honeykid brought this movie to my attention, but until I watched it I had no idea what this was about or anything about the story at all, also HK did not mention that this movie has Henry Rollins in it. The movie starts in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere and starts introducing the characters you will be watching for the next little bit. I thought I would put the introductions the same way they do in the movie, it’s not an original idea for a movie to do this to the characters but I liked the humorous swing that they put on these so I apologize for the extra room it is going to take up, but let’s get started…
Name: Bozo
Job: Not Likely
Occupation: Town Jackass
Life Expectancy: Dead by Dawn
Name: Harley Mom
Fun Fact: Robbing Bar in Ten Minutes
Life Expectancy: Wild Card
Name: Hot Wheels
Occupation: Selling Fireworks to 7th Graders
Life Expectancy: They Wouldn’t Kill A Cripple, Would They?
Name: Coach (my idol Henry Rollins)
Occupation: Motivational Speaker
Reputation: The Poor Man’s Tony Robbins
Life Expectancy: Stay Far, Far Away
Name: Grandma
Fun Fact: Blew Mick Jagger… Recently
Life Expectancy: May Be Dead Already
Name: Jason Mewes (it is Jason Mewes aka Jay from Jay and Silent Bob)
Occupation: Actor
Life Expectancy: Already Surpassed Expectations
Name: Beer Guy (Judah Friedlander – 30 Rock)
Occupation: Beer Guy & Part Time Host at Red Lobster
Life Expectancy: Losers and Dorks go First… He’s Both
Name: Bartender
Fun Fact: Shot 4 Times, Stabbed 6 Times, Bit by 1 Squirrel
Life Expectancy: Horrifying Death in 70 Minutes
Name: Tuffy
Occupation: Career Waitress
Job: Single Mom
Life Expectancy: Expects Nothing From Life
Name: Vet
Fun Facts: Has Never Had Fun
Life Expectancy: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Name: Bossman
Vibe: Mean, Stoned and Horny
Life Expectancy: Regular or Extra Crispy
Name: Honey Pie
Occupation: Actress/Singer/Dancer/Model
Fun Fact: Dying To Get Out Of Town
Life Expectancy: May Get Her Wish
Name: Cody
Occupation: Tax Break
Skill: Can Fit Into Tight Spaces
Life Expectancy: A Wonderful, Full Life
After the lineup of the films main characters who are all obviously locals and regulars at the bar some action starts to happen and in pops…
Name: Hero
Occupation: Kicking Ass
Life Expectancy: Pretty F*cking Good
Hero charges in with a gun (completely Bruce Campbell Evil Dead 2 style) in one hand and a dead Alien/Monster in the other telling everybody that a storm from hell is about to come down on the bar, upon hearing this then exactly that starts happening. We start off with a lot of blood (always a good beginning), an amputation and a couple of people get shot by accident, wow these people that it just spent the first bit of the movie taking all the trouble to introduce are starting to drop like flies already, also and I don’t consider this a spoiler since it’s so close to the beginning of the movie but the one just introduced as Hero immediately dies right after the introduction. Just before they get the first alien taken care of something I found disturbing and funny happened and the alien starts dry humping the stuffed Deer head on the wall. 15 minutes into the movie and someone else pops in uninvited and another introduction takes place…
Name: Heroine
Occupation: Wear Tanktop, Tote Shotgun, Save Day.
Life Expectancy: Hopefully Better Than The Last Hero
Even with all the guns that everyone seems to have in the bar they do not seem to really do any good against the monsters, people continue dying, seriously I thought they were going to run out of actors 30 minutes in. There is some comedy to balance out the horror for example the monster puking green stuff mixed with maggots, ok it’s gross humor but that’s the kind of movie this is, oh yeah and the monsters having sex on the hood of the car and then immediately after dropping a baby onto the ground, or slamming a monsters penis in a door and then cutting it off, yeah it’s pretty much all dark comedy. Well now I thought I was through with this but then it’s time for another introduction…
Name: Heroine 2
Occupation: Childless Mother
Fun Fact: Dealing With The Loss Fairly Well
Life Expectancy: Let’s All Hope For The Best This Time
I could not find a picture of Henry Rollins in the Pink Sweats so I just thought I'd put an awesome picture of him on here instead.
As with all movies where a group of people are trapped in a confined space throughout the movie everyone starts having personal problems or personality problems with other people leading to violence amongst themselves, makes sense to save the monsters the trouble and just do it to yourselves. The movie is great, tons of blood and gore throughout, enough to please any horror/monster movie fan. And I have to give this a really good rating just for Henry Rollins wearing a pair of very Pink sweatpants then having his head used as a battering ram. Thanks HK for making me aware of this movie I really thought it was great.
Feast (2005)
Directed by: John Gulager
Written by: Marcus Dunstan, and Patrick Melton
Honeykid brought this movie to my attention, but until I watched it I had no idea what this was about or anything about the story at all, also HK did not mention that this movie has Henry Rollins in it. The movie starts in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere and starts introducing the characters you will be watching for the next little bit. I thought I would put the introductions the same way they do in the movie, it’s not an original idea for a movie to do this to the characters but I liked the humorous swing that they put on these so I apologize for the extra room it is going to take up, but let’s get started…
Name: Bozo
Job: Not Likely
Occupation: Town Jackass
Life Expectancy: Dead by Dawn
Name: Harley Mom
Fun Fact: Robbing Bar in Ten Minutes
Life Expectancy: Wild Card
Name: Hot Wheels
Occupation: Selling Fireworks to 7th Graders
Life Expectancy: They Wouldn’t Kill A Cripple, Would They?
Name: Coach (my idol Henry Rollins)
Occupation: Motivational Speaker
Reputation: The Poor Man’s Tony Robbins
Life Expectancy: Stay Far, Far Away
Name: Grandma
Fun Fact: Blew Mick Jagger… Recently
Life Expectancy: May Be Dead Already
Name: Jason Mewes (it is Jason Mewes aka Jay from Jay and Silent Bob)
Occupation: Actor
Life Expectancy: Already Surpassed Expectations
Name: Beer Guy (Judah Friedlander – 30 Rock)
Occupation: Beer Guy & Part Time Host at Red Lobster
Life Expectancy: Losers and Dorks go First… He’s Both
Name: Bartender
Fun Fact: Shot 4 Times, Stabbed 6 Times, Bit by 1 Squirrel
Life Expectancy: Horrifying Death in 70 Minutes
Name: Tuffy
Occupation: Career Waitress
Job: Single Mom
Life Expectancy: Expects Nothing From Life
Name: Vet
Fun Facts: Has Never Had Fun
Life Expectancy: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Name: Bossman
Vibe: Mean, Stoned and Horny
Life Expectancy: Regular or Extra Crispy
Name: Honey Pie
Occupation: Actress/Singer/Dancer/Model
Fun Fact: Dying To Get Out Of Town
Life Expectancy: May Get Her Wish
Name: Cody
Occupation: Tax Break
Skill: Can Fit Into Tight Spaces
Life Expectancy: A Wonderful, Full Life
After the lineup of the films main characters who are all obviously locals and regulars at the bar some action starts to happen and in pops…
Name: Hero
Occupation: Kicking Ass
Life Expectancy: Pretty F*cking Good
Hero charges in with a gun (completely Bruce Campbell Evil Dead 2 style) in one hand and a dead Alien/Monster in the other telling everybody that a storm from hell is about to come down on the bar, upon hearing this then exactly that starts happening. We start off with a lot of blood (always a good beginning), an amputation and a couple of people get shot by accident, wow these people that it just spent the first bit of the movie taking all the trouble to introduce are starting to drop like flies already, also and I don’t consider this a spoiler since it’s so close to the beginning of the movie but the one just introduced as Hero immediately dies right after the introduction. Just before they get the first alien taken care of something I found disturbing and funny happened and the alien starts dry humping the stuffed Deer head on the wall. 15 minutes into the movie and someone else pops in uninvited and another introduction takes place…
Name: Heroine
Occupation: Wear Tanktop, Tote Shotgun, Save Day.
Life Expectancy: Hopefully Better Than The Last Hero
Even with all the guns that everyone seems to have in the bar they do not seem to really do any good against the monsters, people continue dying, seriously I thought they were going to run out of actors 30 minutes in. There is some comedy to balance out the horror for example the monster puking green stuff mixed with maggots, ok it’s gross humor but that’s the kind of movie this is, oh yeah and the monsters having sex on the hood of the car and then immediately after dropping a baby onto the ground, or slamming a monsters penis in a door and then cutting it off, yeah it’s pretty much all dark comedy. Well now I thought I was through with this but then it’s time for another introduction…
Name: Heroine 2
Occupation: Childless Mother
Fun Fact: Dealing With The Loss Fairly Well
Life Expectancy: Let’s All Hope For The Best This Time
I could not find a picture of Henry Rollins in the Pink Sweats so I just thought I'd put an awesome picture of him on here instead.
As with all movies where a group of people are trapped in a confined space throughout the movie everyone starts having personal problems or personality problems with other people leading to violence amongst themselves, makes sense to save the monsters the trouble and just do it to yourselves. The movie is great, tons of blood and gore throughout, enough to please any horror/monster movie fan. And I have to give this a really good rating just for Henry Rollins wearing a pair of very Pink sweatpants then having his head used as a battering ram. Thanks HK for making me aware of this movie I really thought it was great.