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DAY 87: November 26th, 2008.
See No Evil
I had the unfortunate pleasure of watching a film produced by the WWE, starring the wrestler Kane and directed by a former porn director. See No Evil is the result of a poor attempt to get the WWE stars to become movie stars, like the days of Hulk Hogan and the current movie star The Rock. Kane is not a movie star, Kane is not a horror icon and Kane is not scary. After failing at the horror genre, they tried to go into action with John Cena, we all know how that turned out. Here is hoping that they stay in the ring and out of our theatres.
The film has a no name cast of 'teenagers' who must clean some abandoned place as community service. They all get killed one by one by Kane, who is living in this place. Through flashbacks we see that he was abused as a kid, which I guess makes his killings okay, and was raised by a woman who was super-ultra-mega religious. That means that if he were to even look at a girl, he would get beaten. Or something like that. Oh, I almost forgot, he collects eye-balls. Yeah...get it? See No Evil???
As far as run of the mill horror films go, this one barely makes it to that level. There is zero suspense, which is mainly because we couldn't give a crap about these kids, who are all punks. The deaths aren't even enjoyable, hell I didn't even root for Kane to kill them, something that the 80's slasher flicks all had in common. Rooting for the bad guy. You didn't do that? I sure did.
I'm ashamed I saw the flick, and I feel sorry for those that decided to read this review. I almost want to think that I did someone out there a favour in telling them not to watch this movie, but I'm sure everyone out there didn't need me to tell them that.
See No Evil
I had the unfortunate pleasure of watching a film produced by the WWE, starring the wrestler Kane and directed by a former porn director. See No Evil is the result of a poor attempt to get the WWE stars to become movie stars, like the days of Hulk Hogan and the current movie star The Rock. Kane is not a movie star, Kane is not a horror icon and Kane is not scary. After failing at the horror genre, they tried to go into action with John Cena, we all know how that turned out. Here is hoping that they stay in the ring and out of our theatres.
The film has a no name cast of 'teenagers' who must clean some abandoned place as community service. They all get killed one by one by Kane, who is living in this place. Through flashbacks we see that he was abused as a kid, which I guess makes his killings okay, and was raised by a woman who was super-ultra-mega religious. That means that if he were to even look at a girl, he would get beaten. Or something like that. Oh, I almost forgot, he collects eye-balls. Yeah...get it? See No Evil???
As far as run of the mill horror films go, this one barely makes it to that level. There is zero suspense, which is mainly because we couldn't give a crap about these kids, who are all punks. The deaths aren't even enjoyable, hell I didn't even root for Kane to kill them, something that the 80's slasher flicks all had in common. Rooting for the bad guy. You didn't do that? I sure did.
I'm ashamed I saw the flick, and I feel sorry for those that decided to read this review. I almost want to think that I did someone out there a favour in telling them not to watch this movie, but I'm sure everyone out there didn't need me to tell them that.