← Back to Reviews
in
Southland Tales
"Ladies and gentlemen, the party is over. Have a nice apocalypse."
Seann William Scott recently apologize for his movie "Mr. Woodcock" saying he couldn't even make it through 15 minutes of that film. I personally, want an apology for this incoherent mess. I made it through all two hours and fifteen minutes though, and for that I deserve a cookie, a beer, and a parade.
You'll notice that I dang near hated this movie. Part of that reason is that it is horribly miscast. Jon Lovitz, Wallace Shawn, Zelda Rubinstein, Amy Poehler, and anyone else associated with SNL were miscast. Venus Kanani and Mary Vernieu (who has been nominated for 6 awards from the Casting Society of America) did horrible jobs and should never work in this town again!
The less-horrible casting was to Dwayne Johnson (AKA the Rock), Sarah Michelle Geller (AKA Buffy), and Seann William Scott. The Rock gives a wooden performance, seen especially while he is explaining "The Power" screenplay, his and Sarah Geller's character co-wrote. When The Rock got nervous, I laughed, his fingers did a thing that I'd like to call the Mr. Burns' "excellent" pose, if you see this movie (which I am screaming you not to) you'll understand what I mean.
The story, was like modern art, you look at it, you try to think of what it is telling you, and in most cases you come up with nothing. Guess what I got out of this story? I was intrigued during the first part, trying to think of what it was telling me, but by the end it just got so cryptic that I could almost hear Richard Kelly through the lens screaming "WATCH IT AGAIN!" Unfortunately, this movie was just to F’D UP, and it doesn’t need a second viewing, it doesn’t need a first viewing either.
I also hated this movies theme of sex. It seemed every chance it got it mentioned sex, hell, they were talking about politics, and all of the sudden I get two elephants doing it! We hear about cars, we get two cars doing it! It’s not that I hate sex, (ask John McClane about our AIM discussions) but this just took it to far.
Also, I didn’t like that they always chose threating suicide as a way to get things done. You all know I hate suicide and have lost a friend to it. I don’t think it is a way to get things done, and I counted 4 instences in which they used it to get things they wanted.
The visuals of this film have been called the best part of the movie. While it is above the acting and the casting, it could be a Sci-fi Channel original movie and the CGI would be better then the acting! Even though the CGI isn't that bad, I didn't see why it was that great, I could tell a lot of stuff was fake, but hey, maybe I am Columbo.
On a good note, I did however like the music and that is where this film gets most of its . Especially Justin Timberlake doing "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier" or "All these things I've done" by The Killers. I am actually going to buy the soundtrack. Good job Moby!
My favorite scene:
Rating: an incoherent mess
"Ladies and gentlemen, the party is over. Have a nice apocalypse."
Seann William Scott recently apologize for his movie "Mr. Woodcock" saying he couldn't even make it through 15 minutes of that film. I personally, want an apology for this incoherent mess. I made it through all two hours and fifteen minutes though, and for that I deserve a cookie, a beer, and a parade.
You'll notice that I dang near hated this movie. Part of that reason is that it is horribly miscast. Jon Lovitz, Wallace Shawn, Zelda Rubinstein, Amy Poehler, and anyone else associated with SNL were miscast. Venus Kanani and Mary Vernieu (who has been nominated for 6 awards from the Casting Society of America) did horrible jobs and should never work in this town again!
The less-horrible casting was to Dwayne Johnson (AKA the Rock), Sarah Michelle Geller (AKA Buffy), and Seann William Scott. The Rock gives a wooden performance, seen especially while he is explaining "The Power" screenplay, his and Sarah Geller's character co-wrote. When The Rock got nervous, I laughed, his fingers did a thing that I'd like to call the Mr. Burns' "excellent" pose, if you see this movie (which I am screaming you not to) you'll understand what I mean.
The story, was like modern art, you look at it, you try to think of what it is telling you, and in most cases you come up with nothing. Guess what I got out of this story? I was intrigued during the first part, trying to think of what it was telling me, but by the end it just got so cryptic that I could almost hear Richard Kelly through the lens screaming "WATCH IT AGAIN!" Unfortunately, this movie was just to F’D UP, and it doesn’t need a second viewing, it doesn’t need a first viewing either.
I also hated this movies theme of sex. It seemed every chance it got it mentioned sex, hell, they were talking about politics, and all of the sudden I get two elephants doing it! We hear about cars, we get two cars doing it! It’s not that I hate sex, (ask John McClane about our AIM discussions) but this just took it to far.
Also, I didn’t like that they always chose threating suicide as a way to get things done. You all know I hate suicide and have lost a friend to it. I don’t think it is a way to get things done, and I counted 4 instences in which they used it to get things they wanted.
The visuals of this film have been called the best part of the movie. While it is above the acting and the casting, it could be a Sci-fi Channel original movie and the CGI would be better then the acting! Even though the CGI isn't that bad, I didn't see why it was that great, I could tell a lot of stuff was fake, but hey, maybe I am Columbo.
On a good note, I did however like the music and that is where this film gets most of its . Especially Justin Timberlake doing "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier" or "All these things I've done" by The Killers. I am actually going to buy the soundtrack. Good job Moby!
My favorite scene:
Rating: an incoherent mess