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TRANSFORMERS
(d: Michael Bay, 2007)
Today, we're going to do something different - an interview with an audience member for Transformers, who will give us her thoughts on the film. Yes, she is a nun. Her name is Sister Mary Lobdale (pictured), she's 61 years old, has only been married to God for 11 years now, and boy does she look psyched after seeing Transformers. Sister, what did you think of the movie?
SISTER M. LOBDALE: (dancing her way over to me) Oooooo ooooo oooooo!!! I loved it! Loved it! LOOOVVVVVVVVVVED IT!
SEXY CELEBRITY: What was so great about it?
SISTER: Everything! I can't tell you how MARVELOUS it was! Only God could possibly express -- in words we don't even know, in languages nobody on Earth can speak -- how simply brilliant this film is!
S.C.: I see. So, you left church to see this movie?
SISTER: Mr. Celebrity, I don't think you understand. This movie was a religious experience - not just to me, but to everybody. I mean, look around. Happy faces! Young people beaming from ear to ear with joy! You don't get that kind of spiritual uprising anymore. It's fantastic.
S.C.: When was the last time you saw a movie?
SISTER: When Sister Act 2 came out. (makes a thumbs down gesture) It went straight to hell. I did come close to seeing Passion of the Christ but I was worried that I'd need a prescription for Prozac afterwards, so I stayed home.
S.C.: I don't really get the... the love for this movie. To me, it's just a movie. I mean, I was never a fan of Transformers. I didn't watch the show growing up. I didn't have the toys...
SISTER: Well, sir, you missed out. I had the toys, I watched the show... before I moved into the church, that is. I was a big fan. Look at my cross.
Sister M. Lobdale shows me the cross around her neck. She messes with it and it turns into a wooden transformer.
SISTER: Ta-da! RoboGod. I'm always protected with RoboGod around my neck. And nobody else knows about him! My sisters are such boring, lifeless Mary mannequins. I mean, they're here too but they went to License To Wed. (rolls eyes) Strike me dead.
Thunder is heard from outside. Sister M. Lobdale yelps and starts praying.
S.C.: Well, sister, we need to wrap this up. Tell me, what would you grade Transformers?
SISTER: AAA! Triple A's! WAIT! Make that A MILLION A'S. God can do miracles! A million miraculous A's for this film!
S.C.: And how many Hail Mary's?
SISTER: ZERO!!! Somewhere minus zero even! HAIL OPTIMUS PRIME from now on!
S.C.: Well, thank you, sister. Maybe if I run into you again, I'll get another review from ya.
SISTER: GOD BLESS EVERYONE! Please! Go to the movies and see Transformers! It'll transform your soul! You'll go to heaven!
S.C.: What about people like mass murderers, suicide bombers and Britney Spears?
SISTER: .... They will at least get a glimpse of it.
S.C.: Well, that's certainly enough. Thank you, Sister Mary Lobdale!
She waves goodbye to everyone, as if a camera was there filming her.
RATINGS:
Sister Mary Lobdale:
Sexy Celebrity:
(d: Michael Bay, 2007)
Today, we're going to do something different - an interview with an audience member for Transformers, who will give us her thoughts on the film. Yes, she is a nun. Her name is Sister Mary Lobdale (pictured), she's 61 years old, has only been married to God for 11 years now, and boy does she look psyched after seeing Transformers. Sister, what did you think of the movie?
SISTER M. LOBDALE: (dancing her way over to me) Oooooo ooooo oooooo!!! I loved it! Loved it! LOOOVVVVVVVVVVED IT!
SEXY CELEBRITY: What was so great about it?
SISTER: Everything! I can't tell you how MARVELOUS it was! Only God could possibly express -- in words we don't even know, in languages nobody on Earth can speak -- how simply brilliant this film is!
S.C.: I see. So, you left church to see this movie?
SISTER: Mr. Celebrity, I don't think you understand. This movie was a religious experience - not just to me, but to everybody. I mean, look around. Happy faces! Young people beaming from ear to ear with joy! You don't get that kind of spiritual uprising anymore. It's fantastic.
S.C.: When was the last time you saw a movie?
SISTER: When Sister Act 2 came out. (makes a thumbs down gesture) It went straight to hell. I did come close to seeing Passion of the Christ but I was worried that I'd need a prescription for Prozac afterwards, so I stayed home.
S.C.: I don't really get the... the love for this movie. To me, it's just a movie. I mean, I was never a fan of Transformers. I didn't watch the show growing up. I didn't have the toys...
SISTER: Well, sir, you missed out. I had the toys, I watched the show... before I moved into the church, that is. I was a big fan. Look at my cross.
Sister M. Lobdale shows me the cross around her neck. She messes with it and it turns into a wooden transformer.
SISTER: Ta-da! RoboGod. I'm always protected with RoboGod around my neck. And nobody else knows about him! My sisters are such boring, lifeless Mary mannequins. I mean, they're here too but they went to License To Wed. (rolls eyes) Strike me dead.
Thunder is heard from outside. Sister M. Lobdale yelps and starts praying.
S.C.: Well, sister, we need to wrap this up. Tell me, what would you grade Transformers?
SISTER: AAA! Triple A's! WAIT! Make that A MILLION A'S. God can do miracles! A million miraculous A's for this film!
S.C.: And how many Hail Mary's?
SISTER: ZERO!!! Somewhere minus zero even! HAIL OPTIMUS PRIME from now on!
S.C.: Well, thank you, sister. Maybe if I run into you again, I'll get another review from ya.
SISTER: GOD BLESS EVERYONE! Please! Go to the movies and see Transformers! It'll transform your soul! You'll go to heaven!
S.C.: What about people like mass murderers, suicide bombers and Britney Spears?
SISTER: .... They will at least get a glimpse of it.
S.C.: Well, that's certainly enough. Thank you, Sister Mary Lobdale!
She waves goodbye to everyone, as if a camera was there filming her.
RATINGS:
Sister Mary Lobdale:
Sexy Celebrity: