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Battlefield Baseball, directed by Yudai Yamaguchi, 2003
If I was 11 when I saw this, this movie would be the epoch of cinematic history. I am not 11 and should be shot for renting this movie.
Billed as being of the highest grade of cheese, Battlefield Baseball performs just like you'd expect the cover to. I actually watched about 95% of the film at 2x speed because I didn't feel like dedicating 90 minutes of my life to it, but I'm sadistic enough to dedicated 45 minutes. I'm ****ing retarded.
There is baseball. There are zombies. There are zombies playing baseball. There are innocent people being killed. Said people are reconstructed miraculously a la the Million Dollar Man. There are robots. There are robots playing baseball while fighting zombies. Those few sentences just about sum up the entire movie.
I didn't know anything about this movie except having seen the cover on the back of an issue of Fangoria. I was hoping it would be about some future sport of extreme death. I like future sports of extreme death. But no, it is about a high school baseball team starving for the championship. The first team they have to play on the way there is team Gedo, consisting entirely of zombies who play in a field where they are legally allowed to kill. Gedo massacres our hero team, Seido, but the star player, Jubeh, comes back from the dead and destroys team Gedo. In fact, everyone comes back from the dead. Everyone dies in the movie and everyone comes back to life in the end from a tear shed by the diefied Jubeh. Oh, except then an old man dies of alcoholism.
Sorry about the spoiler, but if you read that far and still had an interest in seeing the movie with actual intent to enjoy it unspoiled, you deserved it.
But ya know what, reading back over everything that happens in the movie it is pretty funny. Though had I not being watching practically the whole thing at double speed, I'd probably have a few quarts less of blood right now.
The One Sentence Review - Watch it at double the speed, Battlefield Baseball will instantly become twice as good!
If I was 11 when I saw this, this movie would be the epoch of cinematic history. I am not 11 and should be shot for renting this movie.
Billed as being of the highest grade of cheese, Battlefield Baseball performs just like you'd expect the cover to. I actually watched about 95% of the film at 2x speed because I didn't feel like dedicating 90 minutes of my life to it, but I'm sadistic enough to dedicated 45 minutes. I'm ****ing retarded.
There is baseball. There are zombies. There are zombies playing baseball. There are innocent people being killed. Said people are reconstructed miraculously a la the Million Dollar Man. There are robots. There are robots playing baseball while fighting zombies. Those few sentences just about sum up the entire movie.
I didn't know anything about this movie except having seen the cover on the back of an issue of Fangoria. I was hoping it would be about some future sport of extreme death. I like future sports of extreme death. But no, it is about a high school baseball team starving for the championship. The first team they have to play on the way there is team Gedo, consisting entirely of zombies who play in a field where they are legally allowed to kill. Gedo massacres our hero team, Seido, but the star player, Jubeh, comes back from the dead and destroys team Gedo. In fact, everyone comes back from the dead. Everyone dies in the movie and everyone comes back to life in the end from a tear shed by the diefied Jubeh. Oh, except then an old man dies of alcoholism.
Sorry about the spoiler, but if you read that far and still had an interest in seeing the movie with actual intent to enjoy it unspoiled, you deserved it.
But ya know what, reading back over everything that happens in the movie it is pretty funny. Though had I not being watching practically the whole thing at double speed, I'd probably have a few quarts less of blood right now.
The One Sentence Review - Watch it at double the speed, Battlefield Baseball will instantly become twice as good!