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Buddies, 1985
David (David Schachter) signs up to be a "buddy" to Robert (Geoff Edholm), a young man who is dying of AIDS-related complications. As the two discuss love, death, gay rights, and other weighty matters, they forge a strong relationship. But David is unprepared for the emotional toll of caring for someone who is terminally ill.
In a heartbreaking case of life imitating art, the director of this film, Arthur J. Bressan Jr., died of AIDS at the age of 44, just two years after its release. Geoff Edholm likewise died of AIDS, at the age of 33, just four years after the film. The fates of these two men add some heft to the conversations that take place through the film, including its ideas about the responsibilities of those left behind.
Something that is really refreshing about the film is that it's not just some "us vs the world" take on what it means to be gay (in 1980s America! in the middle of the AIDS crisis!), which it could easily have been. Yes, we do read part of an editorial claiming that AIDS is a punishment sent from God to gay people, but for the most part the conversations about being gay and gay acceptance are nuanced. I loved that the character of David has supportive parents. His mother knows he is gay and is proud of his work in gay rights. When David tells her that Robert's family has disowned him and won't come visit him, his mother replies with a sigh that "not all parents are like us." This is not an easy place to be gay, but the characters are not without their allies.
The conversations between David and Robert are frank and interesting. Robert talks about having been in an open relationship with his boyfriend, Edward. Robert says that he thinks their relationship could have survived him having AIDS, but that a mix of Edward being afraid to catch it from Robert AND the guilt that he might have given it to him "killed his love." The two have different points of view on pride parades, which David finds tacky and says he doesn't like the idea of putting himself on display. Robert argues that showing themselves as gay is important and necessary to help normalize being gay. David is arguing that he doesn't want to be defined by his sexuality, while Robert is saying that visibility is necessary for acceptance. They both have valid points, and the film resists being preachy one way or the other.
Something that the film really drives home in a powerful way is the isolation that Robert experiences. He is literally quarantined with a huge sign outside of his door blaring "CONTAGION!". When David first comes into the room, he's practically in a hazmat suit: gloves, apron, and a face mask. His family won't come to visit him, and neither will his lover. It's not how anyone should experience the last days or weeks of life, and for all their conversations about gay rights, the heart of the film is the way that David provides Robert with emotional and even physical intimacy that he's missing. In one sequence, Robert confesses that he masturbated the night before and, while everything "worked", it wasn't really him experiencing sexual satisfaction. The next day, David brings in some soft-core VHS tapes, and holds Robert as Robert works toward orgasm. It's a scene that could have felt lewd or exploitative, but the camera stays focused on Robert's face and David's hands on Robert's shoulders, giving him presence and pressure without being invasive or even overly sexual. There are so many things that David takes for granted--a supportive family, a loving romantic partner--that Robert has lost because of who he is and what he's been through. Witnessing this pushes David to a different understanding of what it means to be an advocate.
It is true that the film has a low-budget look to it, and that some of the acting and line delivery can come across a bit stilted. But this story and the places it's willing to go are so outside of what would have been given big studio support, that it's "shortcomings" in those areas actually serve to reinforce that this had to be an outsider story. (Note: This wasn't directly a @Rockatansky recommendation, but his writing about the director put it on my radar, so *hat tip*)
Bressan apparently mainly directed adult films, but this film speaks to such an intimacy and understanding that you can feel how personal it is. I love that part of the film's message is that through helping others, we can build our own empathy and worldview. Even two people who are, on the surface, almost demographically identical (young, white, gay, male, New Yorkers, etc) can still learn from each other.
Highly recommended.
Buddies, 1985
David (David Schachter) signs up to be a "buddy" to Robert (Geoff Edholm), a young man who is dying of AIDS-related complications. As the two discuss love, death, gay rights, and other weighty matters, they forge a strong relationship. But David is unprepared for the emotional toll of caring for someone who is terminally ill.
In a heartbreaking case of life imitating art, the director of this film, Arthur J. Bressan Jr., died of AIDS at the age of 44, just two years after its release. Geoff Edholm likewise died of AIDS, at the age of 33, just four years after the film. The fates of these two men add some heft to the conversations that take place through the film, including its ideas about the responsibilities of those left behind.
Something that is really refreshing about the film is that it's not just some "us vs the world" take on what it means to be gay (in 1980s America! in the middle of the AIDS crisis!), which it could easily have been. Yes, we do read part of an editorial claiming that AIDS is a punishment sent from God to gay people, but for the most part the conversations about being gay and gay acceptance are nuanced. I loved that the character of David has supportive parents. His mother knows he is gay and is proud of his work in gay rights. When David tells her that Robert's family has disowned him and won't come visit him, his mother replies with a sigh that "not all parents are like us." This is not an easy place to be gay, but the characters are not without their allies.
The conversations between David and Robert are frank and interesting. Robert talks about having been in an open relationship with his boyfriend, Edward. Robert says that he thinks their relationship could have survived him having AIDS, but that a mix of Edward being afraid to catch it from Robert AND the guilt that he might have given it to him "killed his love." The two have different points of view on pride parades, which David finds tacky and says he doesn't like the idea of putting himself on display. Robert argues that showing themselves as gay is important and necessary to help normalize being gay. David is arguing that he doesn't want to be defined by his sexuality, while Robert is saying that visibility is necessary for acceptance. They both have valid points, and the film resists being preachy one way or the other.
Something that the film really drives home in a powerful way is the isolation that Robert experiences. He is literally quarantined with a huge sign outside of his door blaring "CONTAGION!". When David first comes into the room, he's practically in a hazmat suit: gloves, apron, and a face mask. His family won't come to visit him, and neither will his lover. It's not how anyone should experience the last days or weeks of life, and for all their conversations about gay rights, the heart of the film is the way that David provides Robert with emotional and even physical intimacy that he's missing. In one sequence, Robert confesses that he masturbated the night before and, while everything "worked", it wasn't really him experiencing sexual satisfaction. The next day, David brings in some soft-core VHS tapes, and holds Robert as Robert works toward orgasm. It's a scene that could have felt lewd or exploitative, but the camera stays focused on Robert's face and David's hands on Robert's shoulders, giving him presence and pressure without being invasive or even overly sexual. There are so many things that David takes for granted--a supportive family, a loving romantic partner--that Robert has lost because of who he is and what he's been through. Witnessing this pushes David to a different understanding of what it means to be an advocate.
It is true that the film has a low-budget look to it, and that some of the acting and line delivery can come across a bit stilted. But this story and the places it's willing to go are so outside of what would have been given big studio support, that it's "shortcomings" in those areas actually serve to reinforce that this had to be an outsider story. (Note: This wasn't directly a @Rockatansky recommendation, but his writing about the director put it on my radar, so *hat tip*)
Bressan apparently mainly directed adult films, but this film speaks to such an intimacy and understanding that you can feel how personal it is. I love that part of the film's message is that through helping others, we can build our own empathy and worldview. Even two people who are, on the surface, almost demographically identical (young, white, gay, male, New Yorkers, etc) can still learn from each other.
Highly recommended.