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Saw, 2004

Adam (Leigh Whannell) and Lawrence (Cary Elwes) wake up in a squalid bathroom next to a corpse. They soon realize they have been captured by a serial killer who enjoys designing fiendish traps in which victims must commit extreme acts of violence--to themselves or others--in order to escape. The film cuts between Adam and Lawrence's predicament and flashbacks to the detectives (Danny Glover and Ken Leung) who are chasing the killer.

I mean . . . .

Look, I know that this film has fans. And my attitude going into it was that I wasn't going to be a snob about it and maybe there was some fun stuff to be seen and maybe I'd been wrong to pre-judge it.

But I just could not find a way with this movie. Don't get me wrong, there were moments that approached a kind of high-camp excellence. The intentionally awful, frantic editing. Certain characters having epic breakdowns. A British actor and an Australian actor with dueling, dubious American accents. The elaborate, absurd death traps.

103 minutes, though, is just too long. And while the film is complex in its many twists and turns, complex and interesting are not the same thing. Reveal after reveal and yet I simply didn't care about 90% of it. Yes, I wanted the main characters to survive. Yes, I was mildly interested in the identity of the killer. And this was the extent of my engagement with the film.

A major issue for me, across the board, was the writing. It is terrible. And the line readings from a lot of the actors aren't good enough to be good, and aren't weird enough to be enjoyably bad. I did not recognize Whannell at first, and I was like "Aw, maybe it's not this poor actor's fault. It's the script." . . . only to realize that the actor is the one who wrote the script. I thought Whannell was good in the final act of the film. He's a lot more believable screaming "Noooooo!" than trying to land a line like "This is the most fun I've ever had without lubricant." I am a big fan of both Upgrade and his adaptation of The Invisible Man, and I think he's a much better fit behind the camera.

I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea that this is anything more than passable horror. I have yet to read anything about it, and I honestly don't find myself all that curious.