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Van Helsing (2004) (Mild to moderate spoilers)
Directed by Stephen Sommers
Stars: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham
So I took my son to see Van Helsing. Blech.
After about 15 minutes I realized that I should forget about logic and accept the fact that there are going to be some huge plot holes. But I can live with that as long as the movie entertains me.
But the terrible acting and ridiculous dialogue really drove a stake through the heart of this movie for me. Not only was I rolling my eyes, but I literally covered my face at times, it was so bad. Hugh Jackman was okay, and Kevin J. O'Connor was terrific as Igor, but as for the rest: blech. Kate Beckinsale looked hot, but I couldn't get past her fake accent. And necks are not the only things that the vampires in this movie chew: the scenery also took a real beating at their hands.
I find it interesting that stagecoaches catch fire quicker that children's sleepwear, that a syringe exists (just one) that will not only cure lycanthropy, but is also resistant to the effects an otherwise powerful acid, and that a vampire's offspring (???) can only survive while electricity courses through the body of the Frankenstein monster.
On the brighter side, the movie provided some good, if unintentional, laughs. One of the best was at the end where the Frankenstein monster paddles away, Godzilla-style, on what has to be the smallest raft I have ever seen.
Van Helsing (2004) (Mild to moderate spoilers)
Directed by Stephen Sommers
Stars: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham
So I took my son to see Van Helsing. Blech.
After about 15 minutes I realized that I should forget about logic and accept the fact that there are going to be some huge plot holes. But I can live with that as long as the movie entertains me.
But the terrible acting and ridiculous dialogue really drove a stake through the heart of this movie for me. Not only was I rolling my eyes, but I literally covered my face at times, it was so bad. Hugh Jackman was okay, and Kevin J. O'Connor was terrific as Igor, but as for the rest: blech. Kate Beckinsale looked hot, but I couldn't get past her fake accent. And necks are not the only things that the vampires in this movie chew: the scenery also took a real beating at their hands.
I find it interesting that stagecoaches catch fire quicker that children's sleepwear, that a syringe exists (just one) that will not only cure lycanthropy, but is also resistant to the effects an otherwise powerful acid, and that a vampire's offspring (???) can only survive while electricity courses through the body of the Frankenstein monster.
On the brighter side, the movie provided some good, if unintentional, laughs. One of the best was at the end where the Frankenstein monster paddles away, Godzilla-style, on what has to be the smallest raft I have ever seen.