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The Disappointment's Room (2016)
(I know, and it's too easy.)
The film centers around a family that moves into a new house and find that a certain room in the house has a tragic history. (That's all the plot the movie decides to give.)
With most bad films, they still at the very least have some form of plot and or story, they usually have a clear beginning, middle, and end. But the Disappointment's Room feels like an hour and a half long first act. They set up multiple plot threads that just kind of end as soon as they start, I can't recall a single scene that really went anywhere. And on top of that, the movie just kind of ends, after literally nothing happens.
Kate Beckinsale gives her usual performance, she's just kind of there and looks hot, riveting. Her character is an "architect", and the movies understanding is that architecture involves looking a blueprints and saying "hm", I counted, and there is five solid minutes of her just looking at blueprints. And her husband, oh my god, her husband. Imagine if Garey Busey got his balls chopped off, his jaw paralyzed, and he was always squinting, that's the performance of the husband. And you want to know how likeable a character he is, I'll show you with a direct quote from the film, "My job is to play Xbox, take naps, and watch my wife work.", dick.
For a film called The Disappointments Room, there isn't much of the room in the film, and that's where most of the "scares" comes from. They don't even really try to scare you all that much, it's mostly Beckinsale looking around the house or at Blueprints, or the husband being a bum. This is one of the least scary horror films I've seen in my life, and given what I've seen,
that's
saying
something.
There honestly isn't a whole lot for me to say. The Disappointments Room is a truly abysmal piece of sh*t. It is without a doubt one of the worst "movies" I've seen in a very long time, I don't even think I can call it a movie, not a positive thing I can say about it.
Even taking the Disappointments out of the title wouldn't help. (Think about it.)
The Disappointment's Room (2016)
(I know, and it's too easy.)
The film centers around a family that moves into a new house and find that a certain room in the house has a tragic history. (That's all the plot the movie decides to give.)
With most bad films, they still at the very least have some form of plot and or story, they usually have a clear beginning, middle, and end. But the Disappointment's Room feels like an hour and a half long first act. They set up multiple plot threads that just kind of end as soon as they start, I can't recall a single scene that really went anywhere. And on top of that, the movie just kind of ends, after literally nothing happens.
Kate Beckinsale gives her usual performance, she's just kind of there and looks hot, riveting. Her character is an "architect", and the movies understanding is that architecture involves looking a blueprints and saying "hm", I counted, and there is five solid minutes of her just looking at blueprints. And her husband, oh my god, her husband. Imagine if Garey Busey got his balls chopped off, his jaw paralyzed, and he was always squinting, that's the performance of the husband. And you want to know how likeable a character he is, I'll show you with a direct quote from the film, "My job is to play Xbox, take naps, and watch my wife work.", dick.
For a film called The Disappointments Room, there isn't much of the room in the film, and that's where most of the "scares" comes from. They don't even really try to scare you all that much, it's mostly Beckinsale looking around the house or at Blueprints, or the husband being a bum. This is one of the least scary horror films I've seen in my life, and given what I've seen,
that's
saying
something.
There honestly isn't a whole lot for me to say. The Disappointments Room is a truly abysmal piece of sh*t. It is without a doubt one of the worst "movies" I've seen in a very long time, I don't even think I can call it a movie, not a positive thing I can say about it.
Even taking the Disappointments out of the title wouldn't help. (Think about it.)