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Gorgeous
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Fish, Oysters, Dolphins, Chicken, "Love", and Kissing.
So WHAT HAPPENS when Jackie Chan stars in, writes, and produces a movie? You get Gorgeous. A bizarre little romcom a with smattering of martial arts straight down the middle.
So how does this play out? Well, then 45-year-old Jackie Chan plays a rich stock investor/boxer bachelor (jesus) who conveniently finds himself pestered by his servants to "find a girl" at precisely the exact same time that then 23-year-old Shu Qi plays a much younger girl craving romance.
Naturally when Chan is jumped by an old friend of his who sends goons to kill him over what we eventually come to learn is over nothing more than a styrofoam business, because it's "bad for the environment" (what!?), Qi runs away from home to save Chan, gets stranded on an island with him, develops some whimsical-as-**** chemistry while the audience ponders in the back of their head, <her parents must be worried sick>.
There's a whole lot of romcommy shtick including a flamboyant gay man played by Tony Leung (the undercover cop in Hard Boiled) and hijinks resulting from Chan's friend's goons whose cookiness is played for laughs.
The chemistry between Jackie and Shu is surprisingly good at first, but it quickly devolves from 'chemistry' to 'creepy' with lines from him like "I enjoy watching you eat." to which she reciprocates, justifying her affection with lines like "He likes girls and he's successful.".
Heheheheheheheheheheee... You know who ELSE fits that description?
NORMAN BATEMAN.
It has all the predictable bits: the chance encounter, the false date, the friends talking her down, the ACTUAL letdown- and let me tell you, this scene is just ****in' terrible.
Well... our happiness was real. So if you like Hong Kong, why don't you stay here? 
Drive a stake in my heart why donchya?
No, seriously. Kill me now, this dialog is horrendous.
And you know what may be the worst part about? That scene takes place in an assembly line factory and THERE ISN'T A FIGHT SCENE.
There are about 4 fight scenes in the movie.
One on the boat which uses Chan's jacket as a prop.
One out in an alley which does some sick things with baseball bats.
And then there's the initial loss and rematch between Chan and... Brad Allen's character.
Brad is just some guy on Chan's stunt team (he's actually the team leader), but his appearance as the main antagonist to Chan is great. He's humorously introduced in a manner which suggests he'll defeat Chan by being bigger than him (because those giant foreign people you know?), but the joke is he's actually quite a good head or so shorter than him. Chan doesn't take him seriously and that's when Brad just turns on badass mode and goes "You don't have a choice", ultimately whooping Chan's ass.
After Chan's unspoken breakup and depression he opts to get out of his funk which a rematch against Brad which is an excellent example of how you can make an awesome one-on-one fight scene with virtually no props at all. There's also no narrative stakes in this fight either, it's just a friendly spar between two competitors and we even get some enjoyably human moments from Brad out of it who would otherwise be a very flat character.
At some point though, Chan sees an ad in some garbage that says "just smile" and after that point he continues fighting with a stupid grin on his face, understandably wigging out Brad. After that point it just goes all clownshoes on us with Chan implementing his "dance" practice on Brad (which is probably wildly humiliating to be gracefully rolled across Chan's butt) which incites the battle even further until they both literally go cross-eyed.
It's a dumb movie, but it features some good fights, some great fights, and barely manages to survive the rest on frequent injections of genuine character humor. I'd say the good just manages to outpace the bad.
But I'm also cynical as **** and don't really believe anything I say.
Final Verdict: [Pretty Good]
Gorgeous
Martial Arts Romantic Comedy / Chinese / 1999
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
For the Action Movie Countdown.
One of the first Jackie Chan movies that come to mind (which I originally watched thanks to AVGN's video). Reassessment Time.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
One of the first Jackie Chan movies that come to mind (which I originally watched thanks to AVGN's video). Reassessment Time.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"Be careful, one day you'll meet the right girl and you won't know who she is."
What the **** does that mean? How is she the right girl if you don't even know her, UGH!? *aneurysm*
Fish, Oysters, Dolphins, Chicken, "Love", and Kissing.
So WHAT HAPPENS when Jackie Chan stars in, writes, and produces a movie? You get Gorgeous. A bizarre little romcom a with smattering of martial arts straight down the middle.
So how does this play out? Well, then 45-year-old Jackie Chan plays a rich stock investor/boxer bachelor (jesus) who conveniently finds himself pestered by his servants to "find a girl" at precisely the exact same time that then 23-year-old Shu Qi plays a much younger girl craving romance.
Naturally when Chan is jumped by an old friend of his who sends goons to kill him over what we eventually come to learn is over nothing more than a styrofoam business, because it's "bad for the environment" (what!?), Qi runs away from home to save Chan, gets stranded on an island with him, develops some whimsical-as-**** chemistry while the audience ponders in the back of their head, <her parents must be worried sick>.
There's a whole lot of romcommy shtick including a flamboyant gay man played by Tony Leung (the undercover cop in Hard Boiled) and hijinks resulting from Chan's friend's goons whose cookiness is played for laughs.
The chemistry between Jackie and Shu is surprisingly good at first, but it quickly devolves from 'chemistry' to 'creepy' with lines from him like "I enjoy watching you eat." to which she reciprocates, justifying her affection with lines like "He likes girls and he's successful.".
Heheheheheheheheheheee... You know who ELSE fits that description?
NORMAN BATEMAN.
It has all the predictable bits: the chance encounter, the false date, the friends talking her down, the ACTUAL letdown- and let me tell you, this scene is just ****in' terrible.
Originally Posted by Qi
You knew it all along didn't you?
Originally Posted by Chan
Mmhm.
Originally Posted by Qi
You lied, huh?
Originally Posted by Chan
You started it.
Originally Posted by Qi
When we were together you loved me so I loved you back. Was that a lie too or was that real?
Originally Posted by Chan
Well... our happiness was real. So if you like Hong Kong, why don't you stay here?
Originally Posted by Qi
So why am I here?
Originally Posted by Chan
Originally Posted by Qi
So I could just be one of your girls?
Originally Posted by Chan
Originally Posted by Qi
The note in the bottle said to go to Hong Kong right away, and I thought this fairy tale was REAL.
No, seriously. Kill me now, this dialog is horrendous.
And you know what may be the worst part about? That scene takes place in an assembly line factory and THERE ISN'T A FIGHT SCENE.
There are about 4 fight scenes in the movie.
One on the boat which uses Chan's jacket as a prop.
One out in an alley which does some sick things with baseball bats.
And then there's the initial loss and rematch between Chan and... Brad Allen's character.
Brad is just some guy on Chan's stunt team (he's actually the team leader), but his appearance as the main antagonist to Chan is great. He's humorously introduced in a manner which suggests he'll defeat Chan by being bigger than him (because those giant foreign people you know?), but the joke is he's actually quite a good head or so shorter than him. Chan doesn't take him seriously and that's when Brad just turns on badass mode and goes "You don't have a choice", ultimately whooping Chan's ass.
After Chan's unspoken breakup and depression he opts to get out of his funk which a rematch against Brad which is an excellent example of how you can make an awesome one-on-one fight scene with virtually no props at all. There's also no narrative stakes in this fight either, it's just a friendly spar between two competitors and we even get some enjoyably human moments from Brad out of it who would otherwise be a very flat character.
At some point though, Chan sees an ad in some garbage that says "just smile" and after that point he continues fighting with a stupid grin on his face, understandably wigging out Brad. After that point it just goes all clownshoes on us with Chan implementing his "dance" practice on Brad (which is probably wildly humiliating to be gracefully rolled across Chan's butt) which incites the battle even further until they both literally go cross-eyed.
It's a dumb movie, but it features some good fights, some great fights, and barely manages to survive the rest on frequent injections of genuine character humor. I'd say the good just manages to outpace the bad.
But I'm also cynical as **** and don't really believe anything I say.