Cobra

Plot - A gang of vicious, psychotic thugs known as The New World Order, led by The Night Slasher (Thompson), have the streets of Los Angeles in a state of panic. Following a series of murders and escalating brutality it quickly becomes apparent that there is only one man capable of bringing their reign of terror to an end. That man is Lieutenant Marion Cobretti (Stallone), aka Cobra. His renegade style and take-no-prisoners policing methods means that he is not especially popular with his superiors, but its his brand of justice that is required in this instance. After yet another killing, the cops finally catch a break when it turns out that there was a witness to the latest crime. The witness is Ingrid Knutsen (Neilsen), and its not long before she finds her life in danger. With the gang out to silence her it is Cobra who attempts to protect her. His efforts are sabotaged however from within his own police force, and it isn't long before they find themselves in a desperate fight for their lives.

Ah Cobra, god bless you. You're really, really not a particularly good film but I still like you. You're gratuitously violent, unashamedly trashy and dripping with cheese. For many people those are major drawbacks. For me it just sums up your charm!

By the time this film was released in 1986 Sylvester Stallone had already established two iconic, much-loved characters. In the character of Rocky Balboa he had his beloved underdog sporting hero. While with John Rambo he had his action/war hero. Well with Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti you can see it is a very concerted effort to establish another iconic character and potential franchise figure, this time fulfilling the classic renegade cop role. And more than that it feels very much like an attempt to clone the character and success of 'Dirty Harry' Callahan. Just like Dirty Harry he is a renegade cop who plays very much by his own rules, who clashes with his superiors and who hands out his very own brand of justice. And that Dirty Harry vibe is just amplified by the presence of both Reni Santoni and Andrew Robinson. Santoni played Harry's partner in Dirty Harry, and repeats the trick with Cobra. In fact his character is actually called Gonzalez in both films, surely no coincidence. And then there's Andrew Robinson, the man who so memorably played Scorpio opposite Eastwood's Harry Callahan in Harry's debut outing. Though here he actually takes on the role of one of the good guys (though Cobra may disagree).

Throughout the film it really isn't hard to see the longing to create a Dirty Harry for a new generation, never more so than in the film's opening sequence which sees Cobra called in to deal with a crazed psycho who is holding a number of people hostage in a supermarket. Cobra takes on the role of a one-man army, storming the supermarket all by his lonesome and engaging in an explosive fire-fight with the man. It feels like an exact carbon copy of the type of diversion Harry would frequently be involved in once or twice during every movie. The film also attempts to gift Cobra with some similarly styled one-liners, though none of them quite hit the heights that some of Harry's did, but fair play for trying; “You're the disease, and I'm the cure” and “You know what's bad for your health....me” being the most obvious examples to create something that could sit alongside “Do you feel lucky punk?”

A look at Stallone's CV shows that he has twice appeared in films based on comic books; first in Judge Dredd and then more recently in Bullet to the Head. Well you'd likely be forgiven for assuming that this film marked the third such occasion because in many instances Cobra really is very pulpy and comic book in style. That's true right from the start actually both in terms of tone and look. The film opens by inter-cutting images of an axe-wielding gang alongside a biker silhouetted against an impossibly red sky. And from then on there are so many little touches that feel as if they could be straight out of a comic book; Cobra's gun emblazoned with the image of a cobra on the handle, his classic car with the personalised licence plate AWSM 50, the gang clinking their axes together in some weird ritual/celebration and even the name given to Cobra's section on the police force - the Zombie Squad etc. There's even a little moment that reminded me of the iconic camp-fest that was the Batman TV series of the 60s. When one of his superiors realises they require his assistance he puts out the order, “Call the Cobra.” It felt so much like the instances where Commissioner Gordon would put out the call for Batman.

The pulpy, comic book vibe continues with the villains of the piece. As his nemesis, Brian Thompson's Night Slasher is a very colourful creation reminiscent of the kind of larger-than-life killer that often graced the TV show, Dexter. Together he and his Manson Family-styled cult, the New World, certainly make a memorable impression even if no depth whatsoever is given to the characters or their motives. And kudos to those in charge of casting for bringing in both Brian Thompson and Lee Garlington; it's hard to imagine they could have found two creepier looking individuals. In fact if you needed someone to play a crazed psycho in the 80s and you didn't turn to Brian Thompson you were missing out. In addition to its comic book feel, on occasion the film really is terrifically 80s, never more so than in the bizarre and inexplicable moment when the film all of a sudden breaks into a MTV music video that sees Brigitte Nielsen posing and dancing around a series of metallic robots that have seemingly been lifted from some sci-fi movies of the 1950s. And the film doesn't even address it! It just moves on as if it's the most normal thing in the world. And it gets even weirder. At the end of this impromptu music video we finish off with a close-up of the robots. The lights go out, the score becomes a sinister slice of electronica and one of the robots begins to glow red. The film appears to be setting up some kind of Terminator-like robotic uprising for Cobra to battle, but then immediately drops it.

I have always been great fan of Sylvester Stallone. Growing up with the films of Rocky Balboa, arguably cinema's most loveable underdog, instilled an early love of Stallone in me; one that has continued unabated. While I still enjoy his work here I certainly wouldn't say it's one of my favourite of his performances. Something I've always liked about Stallone is that very often it feels like there is an undercurrent of humour to his films and his performances, like he's aware of how ridiculous they are and is on the joke with the audience. Here however he plays it extremely straight, gravely serious and really quite po-faced. He grimaces and glares his way through the film, attempting to create the ultimate macho bad ass. And the film follows suit, also aiming for the very serious. So serious however that it almost goes too far and strays into the territory of spoofing both itself and the films of Dirty Harry.

So we know that Stallone both wrote and acted in the film, but perhaps that wasn't all because Cobra is one of these films that joins the likes of Poltergeist, Return of the Jedi and Tombstone in that rumours persist about who really directed the film. While George P. Cosmatos may be the credited director there is a real belief amongst many people that it was really Stallone that was calling the shots. Well whoever the director was (in addition to being due a fair amount of criticism for much of the film) deserves some credit for their handling of the action sequences which are largely very entertaining, with some fun fights, gun battles and car chases populating the film.

The character of Marion Cobretti was unable to capture the imaginations of the viewing public to a degree that would have seen a sequel being greenlit. And I think that's a bit of a shame. Whatever this film's limitations (and there are indeed many) I think it's good fun, and I'd have been more than happy to spend some more time with the man known as Cobra.

Conclusion - As I stated at the beginning of this review Cobra is not a particularly good film. It is all style and no substance, with no real plot or character development to speak of. But then that's not what you really expect from action movies of the 80s. They were all about exploitation, trashiness, cheese and aiming to be a guilty pleasure. And on all those fronts Cobra pretty much succeeds. It's the kind of film where if someone asks you "what's Cobra like?" you could either give the answer "it's rubbish" or "it's brilliant" and you'd be 100% right on both counts.