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Hellboy II: The Golden Army


by Yoda
posted on 7/16/08
Describing Hellboy II: The Golden Army as a "comic book movie" feels like a bit of a misnomer. Technically, it is adapted from a series of comic books, but most such movies feel they have to make a token effort to explain the amazing things they depict. Peter Parker was bitten by a genetically-enhanced spider in Spider-Man. The X-Men are the byproduct of an evolutionary leap. But Hellboy II couldn't care less about explaining what takes place. While most comic book adaptations work to suspend your disbelief, director Guillermo del Toro happily sends it into a free fall.

Hellboy II is, of course, a sequel to 2004's Hellboy. The titular character (played by Ron Perlman, in a classic "nobody else could have played this character" role) came to our world as an infant, when a group of Nazi occultists opened a portal to the Underworld during WWII. He found his way into the arms of Professor Bruttenholm (John Hurt), who raised him to be a bit more sympathetic towards mankind than you would expect a demon to be.

Now grown up, Hellboy disposes of paranormal threats as part of a secret government agency along with a team of other walking phenomena. They are, in descending order of weirdness: Abe Sapien (a fishlike empath; Doug Jones), newcomer Johan Strauss (a mist like substance with a thick German brogue; Seth MacFarlane), and his cohabitating pyrokinetic girlfriend Liz Sherman (Selma Blair).

In Hellboy II, Hellboy and his team aren't just dueling the occasional occult baddie; they're working their way through an endless supply of fighting folklore. The only creatures we get to see up close are the ones Hellboy and his team stop to battle.

It is difficult to review Hellboy II as an actual film, because it is always apparent that we are meant to gawk at its visuals. We marvel at the extraordinary figures and set pieces, sometimes because marveling at them is all there is to do. There is a threadbare story about an ancient truce between our world and the mythical world, and an angry prince who wishes to summon a "Golden Army" of indestructible warriors. Apparently nobody told him that gold is one of the softest metals on the periodic table of elements.

Though the plot is thin, some of the creature designs are genuinely fascinating. Chief among them are the "tooth fairies": small, insect-like creatures with wings like dragonflies, legs like crustaceans, and mouths like wood chippers. Many of the character designs are on display simultaneously in the "Troll Market," an underground bazaar for mythical creatures that conjures memories of Mos Eisley.

There are a few curve balls in the plot, and one terrifically funny scene where Hellboy and Abe try to drown their women problems away. Other than that the film procedes from one visual stimulation to the next. Character development is fairly sparse, as Hellboy struggles with the same issues of alienation that he did in the first film, with only marginal resolution.

If you want eye candy, you'll find it here, but don't look for a main course. In a film like this, creativity is its own end, in the same vein as Alice in Wonderland. Hellboy, of course, would be Alice, though I admit I would never say so to his face.