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MALONE (1987)

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MALONE (1987)

This pedestrian action movie stars Burt Reynolds, Cliff Robertson, and Lauren Hutton, as well as an attractive young Cynthia Gibb - an actress who’s continued to work consistently on TV up to the present time.

The whole thing is pretty forgettable, really, but it has a strange fascination as a study of Burt Reynolds as the Box Office Champ in Winter. The movie grossed a little over 3 million in ‘87. Did it make money? It certainly could have - that depends solely on how much they paid Burt. The sets are modest, and the car crash action doesn’t even equal National General Pictures releases that made the drive-in during the ‘70’s.

Cliff Robertson plays a developer, but gives off a sort of White Supremacist or militia leader vibe. Probably that would have been better. Lauren Hutton kind of stands around. You could have ripped her lines out of the script and the only thing lost would have been the right to say she was in the movie.

As Burt’s fortunes went low, his toupee went high. I mean, he wears a LUSH head of hair in this movie, and the forelock alone looks like a cobra poised to strike. Physically, he’s in good shape in this one. He never works out, though - just smokes. Smokes, and smokes, and smokes. I wonder if that ever made him think about Jackie Gleason.

There’s a minor crackle of sexual energy with the young Cynthia Gibb, who makes it plain she’d be willing to sign on with smokin’ hot smoker Burt when she reaches the age of consent, but it is not to be.

Your rating is EXTREMELY generous. This turd warrants a half of one star...and even that seems overly generous.
"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra

No way! Didn't you see how hard Burt worked alongside the local mechanic to help him fix his own car? Heck, just one second's lapse of attention and he could have run his hand through toupee hair and gotten grease on it!

Anyway, 1/2 star is SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS territory. I can't start throwing ratings like that at happy mindless fare like MALONE, starring the legendary movie star, talk show guest, and co-producer of WIN, LOSE, OR DRAW, Mr. Burt Reynolds!

I remember when this came out. I was a teenager and Burt was my favorite movie star, and I still didn't want to see it. I haven't heard of it since forever.