Each Time You Post, I'll Take a Half Shot of Tequila from an Elvis Presley Shot Glass

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Is this for real? Either way, I like the idea of you getting wasted. This should be fun.
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Here, if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching?. And my straw reaches acroooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake... I... drink... your... milkshake!
-Daniel, There Will Be Blood