Lord Of The Rings Comedy.

We are all awaiting the movie to the second most bought and read book on the face of the earth!(First being the bible which I dobt will become a movie!) Yes this of course is The Lord Of The Rings.

I myself have read the book and yesterday, at 20 to five, completed the chapter The Grey Havens which in fact is the very last chapter! Now I know all about the book and is willing to discuse it ina comical way. Firstly, a little sequence from a stand up routine I did, not to long ago:

'Has anyone here read "The Lord of the Rings"? Yes, a couple of you. What a fantastic book! Amazing stuff. That tolken had a great imagination didn't he. And that ring that makes you invisible, all those guy out here tonight, especailly the ones who are married are probably thinking one thing! Where is the ring when you need it after a long day at work, late night friday, drinking with your friends and receptionist, full of beer and spirits, smell of perfume come home at 1:00 in the morning and for your wife its that certain time of the month! Forget your wedding ring, whack this baby on, now! I mean NOW!'

That's just one joke of many, which by now I would have forgoten because that one was so great.

Have any of you got any great jokes or questions about the book? Ask or tell!

Are you a comedian?!
I mean you have to be!!!! IT'S SO FUNNY!!

Just to get the ball rolling there, Holden.

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www.esotericrabbit.com

Never read the book, but taking it from a Seinfeld POV.

Why do they call it the Lord of the Rings? It's not like they have a lot of jewelry. Where did all the rings come from?

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"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

:: Jerry Seinfeld voice :: I know. Why does Sauron want to be Lord of the Ring anyway? Maybe he finds it attracts women.

Oh, FYI: LOTR is not the second-highest selling book ever. after The Bible, you'll find The Guinness Book of World Records. I'm fairly sure the Harry Potter books, on the whole, have outsold the LOTR books, BTW...in much less time, even. Don't forget: it's not just one book...even though Tolkien wanted it that way.

WriterDirect. What planet are you from?

But keep up the good stuff buddy, you're cracking me up.

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I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

Well, it is about the war of the rings, and whoever wears the rings gain great power. There is a set of three, nine and just one. The nine are worn on the hands of the Black Riders, the Ring-wraith or Nazgu'l. The other three are worn on Galadriel, Elrond and Gandalf. The one ring was forged in Mount Doom and belonged to Sauron who lost it, fell into the hands of gollum, slollen by Bilbo who gave it to frodo on his coming of age which is 33! The one ring makes you go invisible and it is on a journey back to its master.

I hope that helps, read the book!

If sauron gains the ring bak which was cut off him, he will once again gain the power to rule all of middle earth!

Don't double-post, dude. Second time I've had to to tizzell you. No, Gandalf does not wear one of the rings, I don't think...unless I've forgotten something. "Three rings for the elven kings." It's not "Three rings for the elven kings...plus that Gandalf dude."

At the end of the thrid book he is wearig one of the rings. Pg 1007 in the three volume book.

As he turned and came towards them Frodo saw that Gandalf now wore openly on his hand the third ring.

Ah, I see. Well, it's a tad misleading. When you say they are "worn" by them...to me it implies during the course of the books. When you say it the way you did, it implies that they are actual real-life people, and Gandalf is still wearing it.

Today I downloaded the move trailer to lessen the tension of not being able to see it yet! The movie will show if the director/write/producer's imagination can decode the excellent imagination of JRR Tolkien. If he can pull it off, we are looking at one graet movie of a massive proportions.

Some of the shots from just watching the trailer insinuate that the director has taken some of this to another level. I mean the sets look fantastic.

Ther are some parts in the movie which did not happen exactly the way in the book. Parts were added to give more tension and excitement. There is a part where Arwen gets Frodo away from the Black Riders at the ford. That wa not in the book, but I think it is a good addition because that Character wasn't as deep as the others.

Arwen is being played by Liv Tyler! HOT AS!

Yes, indeed...rather than Glorfindel, they've got Arwen contributing to the "rescue," so to speak. They also ditched Tom Bombadil, and as such, I believe Strider will be the one to equip them with their weapons. The battle takes place right on Weathertop, as well, I think. There are other changes, too, naturally.

In the caves of Moria, Either Merry or Pippin knock a dead guy, full of arrows down a well which alerts the Orcs and that big mother of a thing! Balrog!

I sit here now and just hope the future comes quick. The movie opens here in Australia on the 26 of December.

December 19th here. Are you sure it's not the 19th there, too? I thought it was the 19th or earlier virtually everywhere. And yes, Pippin is the one...instead of throwing/dropping stones, he knocks a whole dang skeleton down there by accident. THE BALROG! Oh man...a big minotaur looking dude, from what I hear of their personal interpretation of it (I don't remember how specific Tolkien was about it...but for those of you who haven't read it, the short of it is that the Balrog is supposed to be one major bada**)...made of black rocks/ash and fire, with a whip of fire to boot. Yowza.

Every one, its officail! I say that again, that! Its official! Liv Tyler who stars as Arwen in the LOTR is a hot mama and is going to be my wife! As soon as this trial about me stalking her, I wil propose!

Any way, in Australia, it opens on Boxing day which is the 26th of december. I can't wait. So all you people from the states are going, maybe, to see it before me! Consider yourself lucky!

whats the deal with Australia getting it a week later than everyone else!!
Even the kiwis had it open on the 19th! Although i heard that was by peter jacksons instructions. the first place in the world for it to open was the place of the movies creation.

tomorrow!
i have my ticket already!!

Hey I've got an idea!: Why don't we stop debating this stupid a$$ story about fuc*ing rings? Huh what do ya say? I mean it's not bad when compared to harry potter, but $hit! It is not that great a book, or series of books, or even a movie! It's what dungens and Dragons fans read when there nintendo was being fixed, and if that's your bag by all means carry it. But for fuc% sake, shut the hell up! It's only a book. (no offense meant)

Offense taken; get some more substance to your argument, and, as I've told you in multiple PMs, enter a valid email in your profile, or I'll deactivated your account. I am no geek...and I enjoy the books. If you don't, well, fine...but if all you can do is say insulting things that completely lack any real wit, well, don't bother posting at all.