MoFo Fantasy Football 2010 Week One

Back by popular demand MoFo's! (Or, at least one or two members anyway) It's another season of Fantasy Football Madness!!! And another week in and week out analysis of the games upcoming and of course my dizzying and mind boggling accuracy of picking said games.

I can't remember my overall record last year, but I'm sure it was something akin to perfection as I can pick fake games like the wind blows. Whoooooosh!!! That was the wind blowing, so let's get to it, eh?

First up is my beloved Odd Squad taking on a group put together by our own MoFo midget, Juno.

PW's Odd Squad vs. Teen Terrors

Yahoo has this game rated as a complete blowout for the Terrors, so, I guess its a good thing that Yahoo doesn't know its ass from a hole in the ground (at least for me anyway, as I'm supposed to be on the losing end) for this matchup, because obviously... I'mma gonna win.

In my first week of QB roulette I plan to trot Cassel out there and let the guy rip. That's right Matt Cassel. I'll be the first to admit that I have a rather unhealthy love affair going with Cassel after he propelled the Odd Squad to the first MoFo Bowl two years ago. But hey! This is the fantasy world and I plan to play the matchups as much as I can this season. I also think my signing of Legedu Naanee will turn out to be the most brilliant move since like, the history of all brilliant moves began. You'll see.

Also: Juno's got issues that earlier it appeared may not have been issues at all. T.J. Housmanzadeh just signed in Baltimore, making Anquan Boldin's value drop somewhat and it appears that Mendenhall in Pittsburgh has a kid behind him that's set to vulture some goal line work from him.

I like my chances... I do. My pick: Odd Squad

11 Angry Men vs. His Own Ego

Looks like an interesting game. And when Yoda's future wife tells him who to start at RB he'll probably have this one in the bank. Although if he thinks he's fooling this crack reporter by putting Fred Taylor in there instead of Micheal Bush... you got another thing comin' pal. All of his receivers could have monster days judging by their matchups and his QB is really the only other guy I would really like to have on my team if I were picking over that is. I think Schuab is second only to Rodgers for fantasy value.

Jay's team looks like it should be set for a huge year if uh, well, you know. Hedidn'thave2reallygoodplayersonhisteamthatmaynotplayATALLthisyearonhisroster. But other than that, he should be fine!

My pick: 11 Angry Men going away.

The Replicants vs. Beantown Champs

Boy oh boy! This looks like a good game. It sure looks on paper that Seds has crafted a monster team and yet Yahoo only has him as a slight favorite. Beantown did snag two of the best RB's that no one is talking about and he may ride those two all the way to the playoffs we'll see. Should be fun to watch this one progress on Stattracker, but if you want to skip that, just read below.

My Pick: Beantown in a... wait for it... SHOCKER!!!

Sookie's Suckers vs. Dextruction

Love these team names this season by the way. Our retuning champ from last season LT or LTIZZY, in a daring move has immediately flied in the face of juju, karma, what have you by changing her team name this year and I'm not 100% certain but I believe she also didn't bring a single man back from last season. Maybe, her TE, but don't quote me on that. But hey, she's the champ and can do whatever she wants, so, good luck to you lady. You're gonna need it! Ha!

That was a shot there, for anyone who wasn't sure.

Her opponent this week is Dextruction, who in his first year of MoFo FFB has already ensconced himself in the annals of MoFo FFB history by trading away the best player in football to Badger only to trade him back! Kee-Ray-Zee. My face is literally on fire just thinking about it.

Oh yeah, the game. Uh, if Dex starts Berrian, which he'd be foolish not to with Rice out then I think he may pull this one out.

As it stands now. My Pick: Sookie's Suckers, as much as it pains me to say that.

IDrinkYourMilkshake vs. Hired Goons

Another Yahoo blowout prediction. I doubt it. Hired Goons may have a better team than even he gives them credit for, we'll see. Some key players for IDrinkYourMilkshake (hard to type but fun to say) have some really tough Week one matchups too. I think this game may be a lot closer than Yahoo does.

My Pick: IDrinkYourMilkshake... too close for comfort.

The Tongo Express vs. Flash

Flash's quest to have all Indianapolis Colts on his team almost came to fruition. Now, will it translate to Flashy victories? Maybe. That's the kind of hard hitting analysis you can expect from this column on a weekly basis right there MoFo's. Captain Tongo piloting the Tongo Express has vowed to tone down the trade mill that was Team Tongo a year ago and so far he's already traded away his QB, so, we'll see how many more he gets rid of after Week one. Should be a hoot.

My Pick: The Tongo Express... all aboard!

The No Name Gang vs. GWOW

This one here I not only think Yahoo has wrong but way wrong. I wouldn't be at all surprised if McNabb doesn't even start, I don't care what he's saying right now. We'll see. But still, even if he does, a projected 17.82? Really? Hmmm, well, I wonder what Seds would say about that.

My Pick: The No Name Gang, straight up!

Well there you have it MoFo's. Vote early and vote often for your winners, if you dare. Its all in good fun. Or is it?

I'm ready for some Football, are you?

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We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...

A lot of these are really close to call, but here are my predictions. Bold = win



IDrinkYourMilkshake vs. Hired Goons

11 Angry Men vs. His Own Ego

The Replicants vs. Beantown Champs

Sookie's Suckers vs. Dextruction

The Tongo Express vs. Flash

PW's Odd Squad vs. The Teen Terrors

The No Name Gang vs. GWOW

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If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I've ever had, does money really even matter?

The question is...will Aaron Rodgers and James Harrison out point Tom Brady and Michael Turner.

Swami says...yes

Attached Images

dex.bmp (69.7 KB, 462 views)

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"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo.

Great review PW, but its a dang shame im gonna beat your picks in this week 1 pepsi challenge Oh thats right Kenny Rogers the gamblers goin down!!!

WEEK 1 or Those first few weeks before the season begins and everyone feels like the 1984 Chicago Bears before the bubble bursts.

PWs Odd Squad vs The Teen Terrors

The New York Jets are gonna kill some team stars rhythm. PWs Ray Rice is gonna get stuck hard, and thats will be a more dire point loss than Teens Anquan Boldin getting stuck hard too. Aside from that Teen Terrors matchups are much nicer than the Odd Squads. His QB Cassel is up against San Diego, Greg Jennings @ Phi (I heard they have a good defense), Felix Jones hey hey maybe Barber or Choice or just a strong Washington D might nix that spot on the roster. Sorry Odd Squad just "too much gun."
Odd Squad terrified of Teen Terrors

11 Angry Men vs His Own Ego

Yoda you have no kicker on your team, and who the hell is Brandon Lloyd?! Im a newbie or Jay better get some WR lovin from Yodas bench and cough up a RB from his. Oops! Sorry wrong thread! Anyway they prob will but not before their game.
Jays running backs are gonna net him alot of points, but hes got no chance in hell vs the array of PPR goodness falling from the sky into these angry mens hands. Schaub vs Colts might outgain Eli vs Panthers, but the WR and TE slots belong to Yoda
11 Angry Men break His Ego

The Replicants vs Beantown Champs

Damn close matchup! Does Flacco have what it takes to endure the NYJ? No - QB slot goes to BCs Drew Brees vs Minny who will get something. I like Andre vs the Colts more than Ocho vs NE so that slot's Seds. I like BCs SD WR Floyd @ KC more than Colston vs Minny because Brees spreads the TDs out to every man on his offense, Going down these two guys roster is like ping-pong in here!
Terrell Owens will be the difference maker. TO will emerge like the living playing hall of famer that he is, and will deliver in TO style. Plus Sedais due after that fantasy baseball screwing
Replicants overpopulate Beantown

Sookie's Suckers vs Dextruction

I see the QB matchup and just laugh - Sookies Favre @ NO vs Dexs' Rodgers @ Phi. Bretts good, but he aint that good. Advantage Dex. From this point on though it looks like Suckers advantage. Sookies Frank Gore should rock vs Seattle, and Arian Foster should do well Vs Indy who will concentrate on Schaub. Dex has Ryan Matthews & Jamaal Charles, but theyre playing each other?! Henh?!
Dextruction sucked up by Snookie

IDrinkYourMilkshake vs Hired Goons

These frickin team names...next year there will be Hannibal Lectors Mad Men, The PacinoDeNiros, and 11 Happy Girls.
This is another tough matchup. Goons Brady should do well in Cinnci, Milkshakes running game actually could destroy Goons Turner/Ronnie Brown connection. IDYMs MJD could tie their combined score. WR & TE slots could go either way, and its a weird irony the only Packer WBadger didnt get could be his undoing IDYMs Ryan Grant @ Phi, but Philly is tough. This is too close to call almost, but...
Loaded Milkshake flattens the Goons

The No Name Gang vs GWOW

Whats a GWOW? Anyway Im going on record that McNabbs gonna rock with the Redskins. I feel McNabb will have a similar experience to what Brett Favre did last year with deeper talent finally surrounding him. Advantage GWOW. Also like GWOWs Crabtree over TNNGs Josh Morgan, but Brandon Marshall will negate No Names Roddy White.
TNNGs Adrian Peterson @ NO vs GWOWS Oak @ Chris Johnson. The Titans dont have the range of the Vikings so Chris Johnson will beat All Day. Sad irony but true. Cedric Benson will outpoint Beanie Wells for sure so both RB slots to GWOW
Guys With Overpowering Wonder (Pretty cool huh? Huh?!) defeat whatstheirnames

The Tongo Express vs Flash

Even with Flashs' Peyton Manning beating my Philip Rivers my WRs NYG Steve Smith, Percy "No migraine today" Harvin, & Miles Austin are all #1 targets vs Flashs lone Hines Ward and 2 backup WRs.
The Williams Boys are back! Caddy is bionic and Rickys off weed. Just off love alone Ill say my RBs beat Flashs Addai & Hightower. Yep and I mean it! Will Gates outscore Dallas Clark?! If anyone could Antonio could, and especially this year with no Vinny J.
The Tongo Expresses its warm wishes to the family of the late departed Flash

Its on baby!

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Won't mean much either way. It's a long season.

Great summaries, guys. Really looking forward to the games.

And yeah, don't worry TONGO, I know I don't have a kicker. I'll have one by gameday.

Re: Michael Bush. Not being sneaky there, honest. Last I'd heard he was doubtful for week 1. Now, they're not sure, but if he plays I don't think he'll be the starter. I guess we'll see.

Good write-ups guys!

By the way Tongo - Snookie is from other show - LT is Sookie!!

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As to the actual games, these are my picks for week 1.

sure the odds of getten all 12 correct is slim, however $2 to win a grand, is a nice risk/reward.

ps,

I appreciate the advice PW, but I don't Trust Berrian this week.

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I didn't do MoFo predictions too much last year, but what the heck? I'm pumped for the season:

The Replicants vs. The Beantown Champs
I like Seds' squad here. Malcolm Floyd as a starting WR is rough, as is Rob Gronkowski at TE. That's two very suspect guys out of the three receiving slots in a PPR league. Ouch.

Flacco could have a tough road to hoe against the Jets, but if he even puts up 10 points, I feel like the Reps will romp at receiver.
Prediction: The Replicants. Margin: Not close.


Sookie's Suckers vs. Dextruction
I don't have a lot of faith in Favre in general, but that doesn't mean he won't be good in certain individual weeks. I dunno if this'll be one of them, but I can't say I trust Jabar Gaffney and Jeremy Maclin as starting WRs in this format. Both were great value, and indeed, Dex is loaded with mid-tier WRs, but playing the right ones could be tricky. I expect Frank Gore to have a pretty big game which either sucks or Sucks, depending on who you are.
Prediction: Sookie's Suckers. Margin: Fairly close.


PW's Odd Squad vs. Teen Terrors
PW finished 2nd in '08 and 3rd in '09. At this rate, he'll be, like, 16th by 2024. Anyway, to the matchup: to my mind, if Ray Rice destroys, PW wins. If he doesn't, I think he has to get a big day out of Cassel or Naanee, both of him are question marks in a starting lineup. I don't exactly love Jay Cutler, but Juno's team is pretty solid apart from that.

Prediction: Teen Terrors. Margin: Some room to spare.


The Tongo Express vs. Flash
Tongo can probably figure out whether or not he'll win by just watching the Colts' game. Flash's love for all things Indy will certainly mean some really low-scoring weeks, but it might mean a couple of huge blowout wins for him, too. Probably the closest matchup of the week. I'd just as soon flip a coin on this one, but...

Prediction: The Tongo Express. Margin: Very close.


The No Name Gang vs. GWOW
I don't trust McNabb, nor the three (!) Redskin starters on GWOW (my friend Adam; yup, he's a 'Skins fan), but I'm skeptical that Morgan, Jacobs, and to a lesser extent, B. Wells, can be counted on. As great as Chris Johnson is, I think Oakland's run defense might semi-contain him (which means, what, ONLY 100 total yards? Sheesh). But I think there's more reliability on GWOW's side.

Prediction: GWOW. Margin: Fairly close.


IDrinkYourMilkShake vs. Hired Goons
Did Fiscal mean to name his team that, or is there a character limit I'm unaware of? Anyway, I don't think either team puts up huge numbers, even though Yahoo disagrees, but regardless I like the Milkshake Man a little better, because I think the Steelers'll be able to handle Michael Turner, and Donald Driver and Santana Moss, while both quite solid, are more like 2/3 receivers than 1/2.

Prediction: IDrinkYourMilkshake. Margin: Some room to spare.


11 Angry Men vs. His Own Ego
The matchup makes it sound like I'm fighting my own ego. A fight which I would TOTALLY win, by the way. Good luck figuring out that last sentence.

Jay's RBs are terrifying, and make me deeply envious, since my own are pretty crappy. But Eli Manning doesn't scare me much, and I love seeing Brandon Lloyd as a starter across the field. I feel like I need something lik 15-16 points COMBINED from my two backs, given the guys I'm trotting out at WR and TE. I like my chances here, and I think Reggie Bush gets himself a score to alleviate the dire RB situation, at least this week.

Prediction: 11 Angry Men. Margin: Some room to spare.

There is a character limit that capped my cleverness (or lack thereof). I am already thinking about renaming my squad Team Zissou, complete with red beanies and drop leg holsters.

Yodster love your write up....Seds loved the picture!!!

It is the first week and who knows how players will produce and what not. I am looking forward to seeing how my team plays for me. Yes I have Favre......but, I am interested in the numbers and he has produced numbers boys!!!! Also he looks splendid in a football uniform from the back BAHHAHAHAHAAA Truth is there was total sh^t left by the time I picked out my QB....argh.

I can only roll with what I have and if he stinks then see whats out there and snag someone...wishful thinking huh?

We shall all see soon enough....I am so excited and it's too bad we all could not get together at a house have some wings, a few beers, and totally trash talk with one another!!!!

Favre = Fantasy MONEY

Favre may throw as many INT's as he does TD's this week.

That gives me an idea. Tell me if you guys like this:

Each week I'll ask several questions (over-under type questions) about teams, or players in general. Each person can make their choices, and I'll keep track of the results. What do you guys say? No stakes, just pride.

I love it!

Fantasy Football is becoming one of my favorite things ever.

Well with the exception of bye week I plan on winning big every week because the Colts are going to smoke it this year. Wonder what I would need to do to get Garcon from Dexter???? - right now he has him on the bench anyway.

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“The gladdest moment in human life, methinks, is a departure into unknown lands.” – Sir Richard Burton

I'm in, although I stink at picking anything that's, like, real. But yeah, game on!

I'm in!

In

sounds good.