MoFo Fantasy Football 2010: Week 5

Yeah, so, you score under 50 points versus the Odd Squad... and you're in trouble pal. Mark my words. Yikes!

This is ridiculous. I mean, other than not having any good receivers or a decent running back (I'm looking at you Ray and Shonn) or a productive Tight End, I just can't figure out what the hell is wrong with my team! The worst part is, is I have to look at Romo on my roster, who I dislike intensely. Maybe not quite as much as say, any or all Arizona Cardinals, but it's close. Real close.

Anyway, PW got his first win last week but unlike last year I'm not overly optimistic that there are going to be many more to follow. To top it off I get Petey this week and so far his team has been a beast. Oh, well.

Last week was also a pretty pathetic effort on my part in the prognostication department. A pitiful 2-5. Yuck. Now my record for the year sits at a paltry 13-16. Ouch.

Is there any hope for the Odd Squad this week? Will potholes ever fill themselves? Is there a chance that pizza is actually a fruit? These questions need answers and I shall endeavor to answer them for you friends. By the way, on those last two... I have no idea, but I have some opinions on this weeks games. Let's see if I know anything at all.

PW's Odd Squad vs. Beantown Champs

Ick, Beantown's a big favorite and rightly so. I see no reason to think my team will suddenly begin to go the extra mile until they actually do it for a week or two. So...

My pick: Beantown, probably not even close.

11 Angry Men vs. The Tongo Express

At first glance this game looks like it should be close but then you see MJD against Buffalo and you may also have Bush going for almost all the carries this week for Oakland if McFadden can't really play. I may start him this week too in my other league as a matter of fact.

All of the sudden Yoder looks primed to make a run after a slow start and the big ape is in the way.

My pick: 11 Angry Men, gorilla tamers from way back

His Own Ego vs. Team Zissou

Hey, where's Jay been on Sunday's? Probably got life stuff I reckon. Anyway, As long as Team Zissou scores somewhere around their average I think they should do pretty well this week. Although Jay might get Moreno back so that may help him out. Who knows, seems Moreno has been a little unreliable like a few of them there Odd Squad players.

My pick: Team Zissou, You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.

The Replicants vs. Sookie's Suckers

We now take you once again to the inner sanctum of the Replicants and Suckers where the following conversation was overheard using a Dixie cup held up to a window and transmitted via a piece of string to the treehouse across the back yard, where Mikey is soon to be shacking up for the week.

Sookie: : So Mike, I see you traded for Adrain Peterson?

The Replicants: Yeah, so?

Sookie: Do you love me?

The Replicants: Yeah... so?

Sookie: How much do you love me?

The Replicants: I'm not sure I like where this is going.

Sookie: Sookie: Let's do this the easy way, bench him now and I'll make you a nice sandwich.

The Replicants: I like sandwiches.

Sookie: How much do you like sandwiches?

The Replicants: Seriously?

Sookie: Dead serious.

The Replicants: OK, I'll get my things...

My pick: Sookie, she's got the girl power

The No Name Gang vs. Dextruction

No name looks primed to make a run into the playoffs, while Dex would be happy with a single win at this point. If Andre can go this week this one could get out of control early. I'll just say he'll plays and base my pick on that.

My pick: No Name Gang, lookin' good.

Teen Terrors vs. Hired Goons

It's too bad that Juno has completely disappeared. I was looking forward to chatting her up and flipping her crap this season and now that it appears her team is actually pretty good I'd hoped she might weigh in with some of her own smack talk. Oh well. Her match up with Badger this week is right down the line with only a point or so dividing them. Tough call. I can't really seem to get a bead on Badgers team so perhaps it will be good luck if I pick against him this week.

My pick: Teen Terrors wins the coin toss

GWOW vs, Flash

If we find out this week that KC isn't quite ready for the big time by getting hammered by Indy this week then we'll also be watching Flashy pick up another win I reckon. Garcon should be back and that TE is just ridiculous.

My pick: Flash, "I'd much rather see you on my side, than scattered into... atoms."

Let's do this.

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We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...

Man, the league seems to be just as competitive as last year. The top four teams are all 3-1, followed by seven teams at 2-2. That's 11 of the 14 teams either tied for first or just one game out after 4 games.

Just as we've followed the NFL's lead in the parity departed, so did the NFL follow our lead in trading; after Aaron Rodgers, Mike Vick, DeSean Jackson, Andre Johnson, Adrian Peterson, Randy Moss, and MJD all changed hands last week, M. Lynch and Moss were swapped for real since.

By the by, those names up there include five first-round picks this season. Five first-round choices swapped in the same week. Craziness. Definitely the most active our league's been.

Interesting. I might be able to relieve you of a burden or two there. I have sent thee a fairly bold offer.

"This one's purple. Purple's a fruit!"

I would've gone with something about Sedai with a swollen eye screaming "ADRIAN!" while looking at the StatTracker, but I think this works better.

Let us do this. It is on. It is time for a game. Game time, if you will.

She has definitely been trying to get me to trade Peterson for Gore. Peterson is her favorite player ever, so she really, really wants him on her team...

Don't tell her Gore has been outscoring Peterson so far...and if you do, don't tell her Peterson has had 1 less game!

Actually, she has the best two backs in the league - I'm scared.

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this is the week.

i can feel it.

i know one can't rely on injuries , but hey lotsa injuries this week.

No Clinton Portis...hello Ryan Torain

No Lesean McCoy...Hello Mike Bell

No Pierre Thomas... Hello Chris Ivory..and welcome to Arizona !

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"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo.

Yeah, I very swiftly picked up Torain in my PPR league after I heard for sure that Portis was sitting. It was either that or Correll Buckhalter, though I may try to swing for him too.

Frankly, I'm in the midst of a backfield crisis with Cedric Benson (who, like his team's namesake, seems to be vanishing) and Knowshon Moreno (who's injuries have injuries of their own). I had ZOMG-drafted Jason Snelling in haste as well, but finally dumped him for Torain. I just know Snelling's going to explode again, though. My luck, it'll be this week.

Either way, I'm hoping Torain can channel his inner Stegosaurus and bolster my point score.

Wow, a post about fantasy football with two references to prehistoric animals. Nice.

I like this. As in, his hamstring broke its leg.

[quote=Powdered Water;682649

It's too bad that Juno has completely disappeared. I was looking forward to chatting her up and flipping her crap this season and now that it appears her team is actually pretty good I'd hoped she might weigh in with some of her own smack talk. Oh well. Her match up with Badger this week is right down the line with only a point or so dividing them. Tough call. I can't really seem to get a bead on Badgers team so perhaps it will be good luck if I pick against him this week.

[/quote]


We may have a Juno Sighting after all.

Jay Cutler has been ruled in-active due to Concussion.

Yeah, I've seen lineup changes. She's still managing the team and all that.

I know, right? This is a terrific league and I feel pretty damn lucky to have finished where I have the first two seasons. Not sure if I'm going to have quite the same resurgence this year that I was able to pull off last year, but still. Great league.


Done. Davis is by far SF's best player and he'll probably more than make up for Romo, who can definitely put up numbers but I just hate watching the guy play. Witten seems like a nice steady guy even if he doesn't really grab a lot of of TD's. Hopefully Schaub is just warming up. I actually really like him as a player, a lot. Thanks, I think this is a really nice trade.

Week 5 Predictions

PW's Odd Squad vs Beantown Champs

Ok heres an over/under for you...will the Odd Squads total point be more than Peteys WRs total points. Then it would be a close game Beantown take out the frustration from getting beat like dogs by The Tongo Express last week on the poor Odd Squaders

Flash vs GWOW

LOL! Lets see if Adam takes Clinton Portis out in time for sunday. Always a good indicator if a team has an absentee owner or not. Ok my prediction, ah the Colts play KC, -looks up pass defense of Chiefs on NFL.com....ranked 25th! - , and I dont think Cedric or Gold Teef will make up the difference. Flash figures out what GWOW means then after Peyton Manning cleans his cleets off Adams overwhelmed team. Yes folks Im that confident as GWOWS WR strength is kaput this week

His Own Ego vs Team Zissou

The artist formerly known as IDrinkYourMilkshake is a scary sight indeed. Zissous a powerhouse in our league, and Jays Ego aint. Zissous roster's so

---------------We interupt this post for a forum league announcement. Yodas lost his mind, and traded away Schaub & Whitten for PWs Romo & Davis! We will now return to our regular "post"casting-----------------

powerful right now it would take a fluke for him to lose vs all but 3 or 4 teams in our league. Ego is squashed by Zissous no-fluke week

The No Name Gang vs Dextruction

Beanie Wells has got-to-go! Play Felix Jones even! Sorry Dustin but Beanie does nothing for me..11 points for the season?! Play Felix! No Names destroy Dextruction even though they dont play Felix

The Replicants vs Sookie's Suckers

Easily the best matchup this week, and for more reasons than great lineups. Lets break it down - QB slot is dead even. I like Bradford vs Detroit, and Ortons good, but the Ravens will fluster him somewhat im sure. I like Sookies Fitz over Marques "who knows who Brees will throw too" Colston, but I like T.O. vs my poor Bucs more than Derrick Mason. Then the run game, and Sookie will win there hands down

buuuuut Sedais TE and swing slot are stronger than Sookies, and this is PPR so Shiancoe is ALOT stronger than Todd Heap, and Braylon Edwards obviouslys stronger than Cotchery. Hey Sookie change your kicker, and shame on you Mike for not telling her! Replicants pull off their 2nd upset

Teen Terrors vs Hired Goons

TTs C Palmer, Wayne, and Boldin are alot stronger than Goons Sanchez, Driver, and Santana Moss. The run game can be flakey this week as you never know if Michael Turner will bring it or not, TTs CJ Spiller & injured McCoy are huge question marks, and Goons Laurence Maroney just plain SUCKS! (sorry....former patriot kneejerk reaction). Robert Meachum Garret?! Hired Goons give their money back not to get beat by Terrors

The Tongo Express vs 11 Angry Men

This is gonna be good! My run game is horrid, just plain stinky bad, and Yodas is solid with MJD & Michael Bush this week. Glaring weakness, but I truly believe I have him beat in the crucial WR slots, and TE. Im telling you with this trade he did acquiring Romo & Davis over Schaub & Whitten....The Tongo Express get 11 Knockouts on the Angry Men

Lets now seperate the men from the boys

&ob=av2e

Yeah, absolutely. Placing in the top few spots in this league is hard to do, which is nice because even when you don't win it all you can feel pretty good about the effort. Unless you're me, in which case you start making voodoo dolls and bitterly planning your revenge.

Yeah, when you mentioned Romo again I glanced at your roster and realized it was an incredibly good fit. Romo's better in fantasy than in real life, and he's chucking the ball a ton this year. So I'm basically betting he'll be his usual self, but he'll do it over more pass attempts than last year. Hopefully the bye didn't talk them into trying to establish the run again. Toss in Schaub's receivers being banged up and the fact that he'll probably throw less than last year (not that that's saying much; they threw a ton last year), and it was enough. I had them ranked about even going into the season, anyway, so I would've thought real hard about trading just the QBs straight up.

Davis over Witten is probably an upgrade, but in a PPR league it's actually really close if Davis doesn't start catching TDs, because Witten's an 80-90 reception guy. But even in PPR I have to assume Davis'll end up with 2-3 more scores by the end of the year. I think he's got a bit more upside, and Witten's a bit steadier, as you say. In fact, Witten's really steady, which made me hesitant to give him up, but there you go.

Can't believe I've traded QBs twice. At least it'll give me plenty of extra ways to second guess myself down the line.

Re: TONGO's prediction. Yeah, you definitely have the WR slot this week, but heck, with Welker and Mike Wallace out, that might not be saying a lot. Thankfully, this should be the only week I have two WR starters out on bye weeks.

I think the big issue is whether or not your RBs cobble together 20 points between them or not. There's an excellent chance at least one of them tosses up something near a goose egg, and I think there's an excellent chance that MJD and Michael Bush combine for 35-40. I like my chances because I think both Britt and Johnson (provided I end up starting him after all) are probably good for nearly 9-10 points each.

But hey, that's why they play the games.

There could be a lot of teams 3-2 after this week.

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“The gladdest moment in human life, methinks, is a departure into unknown lands.” – Sir Richard Burton

I'm seriously considering rolling with Kolb this week instead of Hill.

The thinking is, Detroit is at home and figures to be ahead = run the ball most of the 2nd half.

Frank Gore is gonna rip the Eagles a new one, so kolb will have to toss it early and often.

i mean they let Mcnabb slide for a reason right? and the reason wasnt Vick. right? right? right?

St. Louis has a decent offense playing against a less than average defense. That game will be pretty close, I wouldn't write off the second half as Detroit being up and running the ball.

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If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I've ever had, does money really even matter?

I think it's really close. Kolb's better, but you really have to wonder whether or not he'll need another week to be comfortable. If it were me, I'd probably barely go with Hill, but that's a genuinely tough call, I think.

I only get into who'll be up/down if it's really obvious and I'm legitimately torn. Every week we see some team getting down and assume that's good for our QBs, WRs, and TEs, and that only ends up being the case some of the time, anyway.

Well, a lot will have to do with Javid Best, and how his Toe fares back on the turf.

Rams and Leo's could just as easily be a shootout, in which case, INT's carve into totals.

I'm leaning Kolb mainly because of the Conservative game-plan Reid will have designed for him should limit the picks.

What I'd love to see is Pierre Thomas Activated , while Lesean McCoy is De-activated, thus opening a spot at flex for Mike " I'm your Checkdown" Bell.

Ive defended Brett Favre even when it didnt make sense to, but I sure hope he didnt send out pictures of his ding-dong on MySpace. This is sad, and hopefully will be squashed soon. Tiger Woods needed a break from the public eye I guess.

its an old story, revived just in time for this weeks meeting.

The Censors will be busy blurren the posters in the crowd methinks.

Week 4 is in the books, and boy whatta week it was! Congrats to Tongo and his squeaker of a win over yours truly, it was nail-biter to the end! Also congratulations are in order for both the Replicants and PW's Odd Squad for their first wins of the season. It looks like Week 5 is gonna bring just as much excitement, if not more, than the previous weekends games, so lets get to it, shall we?

Flash vs. GWOW -
This match-up looks pretty cut and dry, with Yahoo expecting Flash to roll over GWOW based on the Indy/KC game Sunday afternoon, but it may not be quite that easy. The Colts have a lot of players either questionable and doubtful for Sunday, and that may be enough for the Chiefs to capitalize on and gain a surprise victory. GWOW doesn't necessarily have to hope for a big game from KC, Johnson could have a barnstormer of a game against Dallas and Benson should do well at home versus the Bucs, but his chances do dry-up a little from there. Washington will be tested at home against the Packers, and McNabb & Cooley will have a tough time dealing with the Green Bay secondary, so GWOW will need Bryant and Williams to carry his team this weekend. Flash is riding the Indy Train all the way to the end, and will live-or-die by the results. I think this could be the week that Indy gets caught looking ahead and lets this one get away from themselves.

GWOW wins in my “Upset-pick-of-the-Week”

Teen Terrors vs. Hired Goons -
OUCH! Bye week for Hired Goons means no Brady or Ronnie “TouchDown” Brown, and with Steve Breaston out, he is gonna have his work cut out for him if he wants to digout a win this weekend. I think Turner should pickup some of the slack for the Goons this weekend facing the Browns, but the rest of his team looks like its gonna have an uphill battle. Sanchez will be facing one of the best pass rushing defenses in the league (and I personally hope the “Purple-People-Eaters” snack on his ass all game long ) so not a lot can be expected from him I'd predict, and with Maroney headsup against the Ravens run stuffing defense, things aren't looking too pretty for the Goons. Terrors has a great opportunity this week with Palmer facing the Bucs at home, and should reap major reward in that game. Even with a few red “P's” and a “Q”, I'd expect the Terrors to come out on top this week based on the strength of her QB and WR positions, but you can never be too sure of anything in the NFL....

Teen Terrors rolls the Goons in a lopsided victory

The No Name Gang vs. Dextruction -
I'm not finding a lot to argue with here, I think Yahoo may have gotten this one just right, so I'm gonna make this one short and sweet.

The No Name Gang puts Dex in a 0-5 hole

The Replicants vs. Sookie's Suckers -
This match-up should have tickets sold for seating assignments just to watch this game unfold live at Mikey and LT's place. Seriously. No matter what happens, this is a “lose/lose” situation for the Replicants. If he wins, he totally loses, and if he loses, well he loses. Damned if ya do, and damned if ya don't. Even though the Replicants finally have All Day starting this week, Peterson gets to face the Jets in NY, and that may not work out too well for him. With Moss making his debut for the Vikes (sidenote: Seriously, WTF were the Patriots thinking with that one? Trading one of the 3 best WRs in the league for a 2011 3rd rounder? Down right retarded I say!) on Monday Night, it may help spread the Jet's D out just enough to make room for Shiancoe to make some big plays, which would surely help All Days game, but I'm not too optimistic about that. Colston and Owens could provide some help, facing mediocre defenses this weekend, but the rest of his squad looks like it'll have its work cut out just to make predicted points. Sookie's Suckers has one of the best RB corps in the league this season, and may well just take this game on the points of her runningbacks alone this weekend. Gore likes to show up for big games and will find plenty of holes to run through in the Philly D-line Sunday night, and Foster shouldn't find it too difficult facing the G-Men at home this weekend, and their “less than adequate” run stopping linemen. The only real weakness I see in Sookie's lineup is her kicker. He needs to go. Like now. Get a real kicker and you should lock this one up LT. If not, don't say I didn't warn ya.

Sookie gives the Reps a “Chainmail Glove Wearing Supah Shockah” this week and sends Mikeys team into a 1-4 deficit.

His Own Ego vs. Team Zissou -
Well if Jay was hoping for a miracle this weekend, he may just get it. Zissou's RBs aren't looking to good, or should I say “well”, and that may be just what the doctor ordered for His Own Ego to pull out a victory in Week 5. All 3 of his runningbacks are either questionable or probable, and although Best and Mathews face weak defenses, not being 100% doesn't help much, since both should end up splitting carries with their respective backups just to be on the safe side, which leaves Rodgers and his WRs to make up the difference and that may end up being all the room Jay needs to edge out Team Zissou this week. Eli Manning has 2, sometimes 3 really big games a season and something tells me he is due for one of those this weekend. The Giants can't put all their eggs in the runningback basket this weekend, so Eli is gonna be forced to earn his money and carry the team on his own, and I believe he'll actually pull it off on the road Sunday. I'm guessing 3 TDs, 0 INTs and 350+ yards. I see Steven “Action” Jackson going crazy on the Rams in Detroit too, and could easily get 100+ yards and 2 TDs and Mike Thomas could have a breakout performance on the Buffalo backfield for 18+ points, but I think thats about all he is gonna get out of his team for above average performances this Sunday. Other than the RB slots, Zissous team looks pretty solid top to bottom. Dustin Keller has been a MACHINE for the Jets this season, and with Hakeem Nicks capitalizing on Eli's big game against the Texans and New Orleans' Defense going completely bats**t on the Cardinals in Arizona, Zissou can survive this, regardless of his situation at runningback. Rodgers won't disappoint in Washington, and should be good for 2 TDs and 250+ yards, which all adds up to...

Team Zissou somehow beats His Own Ego with a last minute catch by Keller Monday Night

11 Angry Men vs. The Tongo Express -
Ok, lets run down the position vs. position matchups with this battle and then add'em up to see who'll win this one:
QB – Rivers against the Raiders, check for Tongo
WR – Calvin Johnson should destroy St. Louis but Austin and Smith combine for more points overall, check again for Tongo
RB – MJD vs. Buffalo, check for Angry Men.
TE – Antonio Gates vs. Raiders, check for Tongo
W/R – Percy Harvin vs....wait, MJD against Buffalo? In Buffalo? Seriously? Maurice Jones-Drew against the Buffalo Bills PATHETIC run stopping defense? Thats not even fair. Thats like men playing against boys in a tug-of-war match. MJD should score 40+ points AT LEAST! Gross, totally gross.

11 Angry Men knocks Tongo back a step and goes to 3-2, edging ever closer to a playoff spot...

Beantown Champs vs. PW's Odd Squad -
Opening Scene, Scene 1. Camera follows behind man in shadow, walking down hallway, footsteps echoing loudly. Man stops and opens door to right. Shadow figure speaks as walking through door into office “Why hello Mr. Brees, how are yous doing today?”. Camera cuts to Dree Brees sitting behind desk, looking at computer screen with New Orleans Saints playbook open in front of him and pencil twitching in fingers. “Um, well fine I guess, um who are you exactly and what are you doing walking into my office this late at night?”. Brees goes to get up from seat, Man in Shadow says “Brees, you just sit there in yer chair and listen to my words, real careful like, capish?” “I'm only gonna say this once, so yous bettah listen real good like and do exactly what I say. Your gonna play outta your freakin' tree this weekend in Arizona and your gonna score like you've nevah scored before in yer freakin' life. Yer gonna throw touchdowns all day long and yer gonna run in a few to boot. Yer gonna do all this becuz you likes to breath through yer freakin' nose and ya like to walk without a freakin' cane and because if'n you don't, I'm gonna come back here are beat ya down real good like, capish?”...... Camera cuts to next days newspaper headlines...”Drew Brees throws for 15 Touchdowns and 1267 Yards”....

Beantown Champs win...if Brees knows whats good for him anyways....

Well good luck to everyone and remember, Fantasy Football is a fun and stress-free activity.... ya, right

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"Vader...You Must Confront Vader..."