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I am slowly embracing calling myself an agnostic, but I don't know if that truly is what I am or what I should call myself. I believe there might be life after death... I believe there might not be. From all of the hard evidence that I have seen - not imagined, not thought of, but seen - life after death looks silly and impossible.
Besides all the crap there is in life to deal with, what's with the death process? I know this is something religious and spiritual people ignore, but death is disgusting and morbid. I can't truly find beauty in it. I am very squeamish about looking at real death. Last year, I checked out a disturbing magazine called Shock, which featured photos of a man's head decomposing in a matter of death. He turned all black and slimy, worms were laying eggs in his nose, soon they were covered all over his head, and then it turned to a skull. I had trouble eating meat for awhile after this. It was so disgusting. I had to throw the magazine away fast so I'd never see it again.
These things disturb me (and they're not just little things - it happens to everything alive) and truly make me thing about the whole concept of life after death. You mean to tell me that I'm just gonna exit my body upon death and not have to stick around for the whole decomposition? That I'll be free and go to some beautiful place?
Why did God make such a disgusting, freakish place for us to inhabit? Yeah, there's a lot of good things you can experience in life - for some people. But there's also A LOT of bad. Yeah, it's a "miracle" we exist at all and have evolved and all that - but are we the only ones? Is the Rare Earth theory true? What's with space being so dark and lonely? What's with the other planets in the solar system being so devoid of life? If you say this is all just a test, why does there need to be a test? Why does God need to care about everything and everybody in the first place? Especially if he can't even make the world and the universe more manageable, more comfortable?
Life is tough... the world is sickening... the universe is dark and cold. We are propelled to make it more comfortable for ourselves. To wait until a beautiful afterlife? Would it really be *that* beautiful?
I can see why people hope... I can see why people choose to have faith... I can see why people feel God exists solely because we're here, there's something instead of nothing, I am me, I am not you, how can that be, why is it true?
But I can also see the hard reality that death looks... like, the end. There are such things as endings. A movie ends. Even if it has a sequel, the sequel ends. I don't remember anything before my beginning. A spiritual person might say, "Oh, that's because God made you forget about why you came here, your past life" etc. But these are all just theories. They sound like fantasy. They sound like coping mechanisms.
We should all truly appreciate each other more (if we're good people) and remember to say "I love you" to someone we do because we really may not get another chance to if something happened to them and they died. We may not see them again in person. People who hate agnostics and atheists need to just shut the F up because at least we're here to tell you, Look - death is extinction. As long as you're alive, you won't see someone who's died in person ever. APPRECIATE SOMEONE YOU LOVE WHO'S ALIVE!
We've had all of these wars where anyone religious will just kill people left and right, like it's a video game. They don't think about it. Their mothers at home, their girlfriends, their boyfriends, their wives, their husbands... grieving in sorrow for their loved one who was just killed unnecessarily. George Bush keeps sending people over to fight in the war and won't let others come home. They just want to be with their loved ones. Most people don't even understand what death is. They think it's so temporary. So what if I get shot and die? According to John Edward, I'll just cross over. Then my girlfriend can get tickets to be on his show, he'll explain to her that I'm still around and she can feel my energy and love pouring forth from the other side. She'll accept this and move on. Alright, I'm ready to die... FOR MY COUNTRY!!! You're dying for nobody. Unless you had some lunatic father who told you to go out there and die to make him proud... That's another sick, sad belonging of the world - mental illness.