Home Alone
I gotta stay this movie is a little overrated. Macaulay Culkin is not good in this movie. He is just a annoying little **** here and offers nothing nothign at all. Sure he may be the star but that doesnt make him any good. The Wet Bandits are good but not in it enough. The old man neighbor is the real heart and soul of this movie. His story is far more interesting. He is just a very creepy, lonely broken hearted man armed with a shovel and a yearning for his family. By far the only character worth caring about and rooting for. I mean I was rooting for Kevin to die and the majority of his ****y family to die as well but im just a cynic. I don’t know why the old man leaves after he saves Kevin from the bandits though, Kevin is still a little kid with no family and the old guy just deuces out and leaves him alone. Kevin is such a little **** that no one wants to take care of him. 6/10
Daddy’s Home 2
There should be no ****ing way in hell that this movie should have been any good. The first one was pure trash. Yet there I was laughing my balls off during this one. Legit I was laughing out loud a lot during this surprisingly good movie. For the most part everything worked in it. The casting was pretty much dead on. John Lithgow was perfect in that emotional and sissy dad role. While Mel Gibson was perfect as the rough and tough dad. Wahlberg and Will Ferrell were both solid as well. John Cena was good in his brief amount of screen time. Major props for the great idea of all four dads agreeing the thermostat cant be touched. I still cant believe how much I enjoyed this movie. The drawback was that it gets to be a little bit too much at times. The over the top physical comedy stuff and lack of awareness of Ferrell’s character got to be annoying. The little girl angle also isnt very funny either. The end song is really unnecessary. Overall it's a fun watch for anyone and it's good Christmas and family Movie 7/10.
Christmas Vacation
One of the best Christmas movies ever and for good reasons. Cousin Eddie will always be a classic character. Everyone though is really funny. You can never go wrong with this one. 9.5/10
Home Alone 2: Alone in New York
This is one of the most maddening movies I've ever had to ****ing sit through. Every character made me we just want to ****ing punch them in the face. The McCalister family is the ****ing worst. The uncle is a douchebag, the mom's a dumbass. Kevin and Buzz both suck on equal level. I mean how the **** can you forget you ******* kid two years in a row. Come on, Child Protective Services needs to be ****ing called ASAP. Take all 19 kids they have away from them. Macaulay Culkin is terrible here. Once again he is just a annoying little ****. On top of the family being a bunch of **** brains the hotel staff is every bit as equally dumb. Kevin sucks so much that even the lady in the airport doesnt help a lost child out. She can instantly tell that he is a **** and shouldnt be helped. . No one gives a **** about this little kid. I mean except for crazy pigeon lady. She's the most responsible character here. The fact that a crazy bitch that lives under a bridge and has a bunch of pigeon friends cares more about Kevin, than anyone else in this whole ****ing movie says everything about these ****ty characters. That's sad when the ****ing lady has a bunch of bird **** in her ****ing hair cares more about a son than the mother, is not a good look for whatever the dumbs mom name was. The ****ing balls on the McCallister's to get pissed at the hotel room yelling about how could you let a child check-in, how could you leave him unattended and everything. Ummmmm bitch how could you leave your child in a ******* airport again for two movies in a row you forgot your kid at home.Again just do a quick head count and all this **** would have been avoided. ****ty characters aside, Daniel Stern is ****ing hilarious here. Pesci is good as well Daniel Stern is the only reason I laughed. That dude is a ****ing riot here between his one-liners and his physical comedy, just outstanding work.I'm not going to say that he saved this movie because these are the most unlikeable charcters ever and I wanted to kill everyone. Stern and Pesci get a thumbs up but everyone else go **** themselves. 3/10
Santa’s Slay
The award for most badass Santa goes to Goldberg! Goldberg! Goldberg! (if you arent a wrestling fan then get your **** together and look it up). This is just a fun ass comedy and horror movie. In it Santa is a bad guy who has to be nice for a 1000 years because he lost a bet. Well guess what times up bitch, Santa is here for some killing. I applaud the dudes who thought of these kills. Between the star tree topper being used as a ninja star and taking a bitch out, or using a candy cane to impale someone ,or a **** ton of other way that Santa mercs some fools. This movie never takes itself to seriously. Goldberg is outstanding and badass here. His one liners at times were good , other times they miss there mark. I would have like a spear and jackhammer combo or at least him goin Who’s Next? (gotta give the fans what they want) but you don’t always get want you want. Some lame action scenes and bad cgi hamper this a little bit but just don’t think about those too much. 7.5/10
Klause
This is a more realistic approach to the origin of Santa Claus. Its a very clever, fun, and emotional. To be honest I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. This takes the origin of Santa and adds a dose of realism to it. For example him and flying reindeer don’t actually fly but a child saw them out the window one night and told everyone they flew. The main character here was really good, he was annoying at first but as the story went on he got better and better. All the other supporting voice actors also nailed it. The one thing they ****ed up was J.K. Simmons being Santa. His voice lacked any sort of emotion and it just didn’t fit in here at all. Which is disappointing because he is usually great in everything. One of the bigger disappointment was also the fact that they excluded the talk between Jesper and his father. It would have been so much better to have heard his father say he is proud of him and the emotional chat they had. That scene would have elevated this movie and would have made it even better. Still though its a damn good movie. 8/10
The Night Before
This movie gets better and better every time I watch it. Seth Rogen is hilarious in this. Michael Shannon absolutely kills it as well. His intensity and seriousness is funny as hell here. Joesph Gordon Levitt gets annoying with all his moping towards the end. The Miley Cyrus **** in the club also goes on to long as well. No one needs a full on karaoke session to “Wrecking Ball”. Other then those two things though this movie rules. If you don’t like dick and balls jokes though then its not for you, but you can go **** yourself because those are the best types of jokes. If you like those then this movie is perfect for you. 8.5/10
Elf
Damn son does this movie ****ing rules. It is one of the best Christmas movies ever made and for good reason. Almost everything about this movie is perfect. The casting was dead on. Will Ferrell kills it as Buddy the elf, James Caan is great as the grumpy old guy, Ed Asner, Bob Newhart, and Peter Dinklage just cant be beat here. The casting for everything was so perfect. Zooey Deschanel is definitely the weakest cast member here Jon Favreau did a great job directing and capturing the Christmas movie magic. I could go listing just all the great scenes in this movie but that would basically just be the whole movie. To think that when I saw this theaters the first time I hated this. That really shows that A) im a ****ing idiot (probably already evident while you were reading this) and B) my judgments of movies might not be the best. Any who this movie will always be a mandatory watching during the Christmas season. 9.5/10
checkout the full list at https://tjkellyrants.com/movies/tis-...-movies-part-2
I gotta stay this movie is a little overrated. Macaulay Culkin is not good in this movie. He is just a annoying little **** here and offers nothing nothign at all. Sure he may be the star but that doesnt make him any good. The Wet Bandits are good but not in it enough. The old man neighbor is the real heart and soul of this movie. His story is far more interesting. He is just a very creepy, lonely broken hearted man armed with a shovel and a yearning for his family. By far the only character worth caring about and rooting for. I mean I was rooting for Kevin to die and the majority of his ****y family to die as well but im just a cynic. I don’t know why the old man leaves after he saves Kevin from the bandits though, Kevin is still a little kid with no family and the old guy just deuces out and leaves him alone. Kevin is such a little **** that no one wants to take care of him. 6/10
Daddy’s Home 2
There should be no ****ing way in hell that this movie should have been any good. The first one was pure trash. Yet there I was laughing my balls off during this one. Legit I was laughing out loud a lot during this surprisingly good movie. For the most part everything worked in it. The casting was pretty much dead on. John Lithgow was perfect in that emotional and sissy dad role. While Mel Gibson was perfect as the rough and tough dad. Wahlberg and Will Ferrell were both solid as well. John Cena was good in his brief amount of screen time. Major props for the great idea of all four dads agreeing the thermostat cant be touched. I still cant believe how much I enjoyed this movie. The drawback was that it gets to be a little bit too much at times. The over the top physical comedy stuff and lack of awareness of Ferrell’s character got to be annoying. The little girl angle also isnt very funny either. The end song is really unnecessary. Overall it's a fun watch for anyone and it's good Christmas and family Movie 7/10.
Christmas Vacation
One of the best Christmas movies ever and for good reasons. Cousin Eddie will always be a classic character. Everyone though is really funny. You can never go wrong with this one. 9.5/10
Home Alone 2: Alone in New York
This is one of the most maddening movies I've ever had to ****ing sit through. Every character made me we just want to ****ing punch them in the face. The McCalister family is the ****ing worst. The uncle is a douchebag, the mom's a dumbass. Kevin and Buzz both suck on equal level. I mean how the **** can you forget you ******* kid two years in a row. Come on, Child Protective Services needs to be ****ing called ASAP. Take all 19 kids they have away from them. Macaulay Culkin is terrible here. Once again he is just a annoying little ****. On top of the family being a bunch of **** brains the hotel staff is every bit as equally dumb. Kevin sucks so much that even the lady in the airport doesnt help a lost child out. She can instantly tell that he is a **** and shouldnt be helped. . No one gives a **** about this little kid. I mean except for crazy pigeon lady. She's the most responsible character here. The fact that a crazy bitch that lives under a bridge and has a bunch of pigeon friends cares more about Kevin, than anyone else in this whole ****ing movie says everything about these ****ty characters. That's sad when the ****ing lady has a bunch of bird **** in her ****ing hair cares more about a son than the mother, is not a good look for whatever the dumbs mom name was. The ****ing balls on the McCallister's to get pissed at the hotel room yelling about how could you let a child check-in, how could you leave him unattended and everything. Ummmmm bitch how could you leave your child in a ******* airport again for two movies in a row you forgot your kid at home.Again just do a quick head count and all this **** would have been avoided. ****ty characters aside, Daniel Stern is ****ing hilarious here. Pesci is good as well Daniel Stern is the only reason I laughed. That dude is a ****ing riot here between his one-liners and his physical comedy, just outstanding work.I'm not going to say that he saved this movie because these are the most unlikeable charcters ever and I wanted to kill everyone. Stern and Pesci get a thumbs up but everyone else go **** themselves. 3/10
Santa’s Slay
The award for most badass Santa goes to Goldberg! Goldberg! Goldberg! (if you arent a wrestling fan then get your **** together and look it up). This is just a fun ass comedy and horror movie. In it Santa is a bad guy who has to be nice for a 1000 years because he lost a bet. Well guess what times up bitch, Santa is here for some killing. I applaud the dudes who thought of these kills. Between the star tree topper being used as a ninja star and taking a bitch out, or using a candy cane to impale someone ,or a **** ton of other way that Santa mercs some fools. This movie never takes itself to seriously. Goldberg is outstanding and badass here. His one liners at times were good , other times they miss there mark. I would have like a spear and jackhammer combo or at least him goin Who’s Next? (gotta give the fans what they want) but you don’t always get want you want. Some lame action scenes and bad cgi hamper this a little bit but just don’t think about those too much. 7.5/10
Klause
This is a more realistic approach to the origin of Santa Claus. Its a very clever, fun, and emotional. To be honest I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. This takes the origin of Santa and adds a dose of realism to it. For example him and flying reindeer don’t actually fly but a child saw them out the window one night and told everyone they flew. The main character here was really good, he was annoying at first but as the story went on he got better and better. All the other supporting voice actors also nailed it. The one thing they ****ed up was J.K. Simmons being Santa. His voice lacked any sort of emotion and it just didn’t fit in here at all. Which is disappointing because he is usually great in everything. One of the bigger disappointment was also the fact that they excluded the talk between Jesper and his father. It would have been so much better to have heard his father say he is proud of him and the emotional chat they had. That scene would have elevated this movie and would have made it even better. Still though its a damn good movie. 8/10
The Night Before
This movie gets better and better every time I watch it. Seth Rogen is hilarious in this. Michael Shannon absolutely kills it as well. His intensity and seriousness is funny as hell here. Joesph Gordon Levitt gets annoying with all his moping towards the end. The Miley Cyrus **** in the club also goes on to long as well. No one needs a full on karaoke session to “Wrecking Ball”. Other then those two things though this movie rules. If you don’t like dick and balls jokes though then its not for you, but you can go **** yourself because those are the best types of jokes. If you like those then this movie is perfect for you. 8.5/10
Elf
Damn son does this movie ****ing rules. It is one of the best Christmas movies ever made and for good reason. Almost everything about this movie is perfect. The casting was dead on. Will Ferrell kills it as Buddy the elf, James Caan is great as the grumpy old guy, Ed Asner, Bob Newhart, and Peter Dinklage just cant be beat here. The casting for everything was so perfect. Zooey Deschanel is definitely the weakest cast member here Jon Favreau did a great job directing and capturing the Christmas movie magic. I could go listing just all the great scenes in this movie but that would basically just be the whole movie. To think that when I saw this theaters the first time I hated this. That really shows that A) im a ****ing idiot (probably already evident while you were reading this) and B) my judgments of movies might not be the best. Any who this movie will always be a mandatory watching during the Christmas season. 9.5/10
checkout the full list at https://tjkellyrants.com/movies/tis-...-movies-part-2