Geeaytch's Movie Reviews

I dabbled in writing casual movie reviews for a few friends, but have not written one in about 3 years. I thought I'd get back into writing some reviews and posting them here, partly to share with others and partly for my own record-keeping purposes.

Here we go....

1. Best of the Best (1989) [6/10] - starring Phillip Rhee, Eric Roberts, James Earl Jones, Chris Penn

2. Fair Game (1995) [5.5/10] - William Baldwin, Cindy Crawford, Steven Berkoff

3. Avengers, The (2012) [3/10] - Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston

4. Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) [2.5/10] - James Franco, Freida Pinto, Andy Serkis

5. What's Your Number (2011) [2/10] - Anna Faris, Chris Evans

6. Beach, The (2001) [7/10] - Leonardo DiCaprio, Virginie Ledoyen, Guillaume Canet, Tilda Swinton, Robert Carlyle

7. Hurt Locker, The (2008) [5/10] – Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty

8. Universal Soldier (1992) [5.5/10] – Jean-Claude van Damme, Dolph Lungren

9. Empire of the Sun (1987) [8/10] - (Christian Bale, John Malkovich, Joe Pantoliano, Miranda Richardson)

10. Iron-Man (2008) [6.5/10] – (Robert Downey Jr, Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow)

11. Amazing Spider-Man (2012) [2/10] - (Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Dennis Leary)

12. Hanna (2011) [2/10] - (Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, Cate Blanchett)

13. Insidious (2010) [3/10] - (Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne)

1. Best of the Best (1989) - starring Phillip Rhee, Eric Roberts, James Earl Jones, Chris Penn


This movie tracks a group of five individuals at different stages of their lives who want to represent the USA karate team in a Taekwondo tournament against the world's best in Korea. Most characters are not fleshed out much apart from Rhee, Roberts and Jones, so one never truly gets a feel for any of their motivations.

The five initially do not get along but are forced to work together as a team to overcome their much fancied opponents. Little by little, more is revealed about the motivations of the main three characters, all building up to a tense and emotional showdown.

The acting isn't always the best and some of the key shifts in the movie seem hollow, but the movie comes in at around 90minutes (excluding credits), which together with some memorable lines and good, realistic action sequences, lends itself to repeated viewing.

6/10!!!!!! One of my favourite movies as a kid, and it still gets repeated watches today.

2. Fair Game (1995) - William Baldwin, Cindy Crawford, Steven Berkoff




The plot is very thin, and the dialogue often feels forced, but Crawford's hollow acting surprisingly grows on you after a while. The movie has lots of running and jumping, shooting and explosions as well as a villain with no conscience - all the usual ingredients for a good action movie.

The supposed chemistry between the lead characters doesn't really translate well to the viewer however, but there are definite fireworks towards the end of the movie.

This movie was never going to win any Academy Awards, and if you can look past the contrived plot, you will find an ejoyable tongue-in-cheek actioner with arguably one of the best looking damsels in distress in celluloid history.

5.5/10!!!!!! Another movie that gets a lot of play from me due to its short running time, fast-paced action and Cindy Crawford.

3. Avengers, The (2012) - Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston


This move came with big hype and years of build up. I like my movies to be watchable on its own, and unfortunately, when looked at in this context, this movie falls flat. A super being from another planet comes to Earth and steals a shiny cube which holds immeasurable power. Ordinary humans are unable to stop this being from using the cube to wreak havoc and destroy the planet so a covert government operation calls on some extraordinary humans (and another super being from a distant planet) to put a stop to things.

The actors do what they can with the script, but Downey's Tony Stark steals most scenes with his suave demeanor. Ruffalo's portrayal of the eternally tortured Hulk soul is adequately rendered, but Thor and Captain America are superficial characters, and it is especially these latter two characters who suffer from a lack of character development in this movie. Placing reliance on their stand-alone movies to ground these characters is futile as both movies seriously lacked in character development (more so the terrible Thor than Captain America).

All characters get sufficient screen time, and everything is neatly shuffled toward a massive climax where all four heroes (and Widow and Hawkeye) must put their differences aside to team up and fight off the alien invasion in an action sequence that is stylishly executed.

I left the cinema feeling disappointed.

3/10!!! No character development (apart from Hawkeye), a linear and one-dimensional plot, and a running time well in excess of 2 hours ensures that this movie won't be watched by me again. However, as a comic book fan, I'd be lying if I said that the final battle wasn't fun to watch.

You have horrible taste in movies. No offense.

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#31 on SC's Top 100 Mofos list!!

4. Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) - James Franco, Freida Pinto, Andy Serkis


Franco plays a scientist trying to formulate a cure for Alzheimer's disease, with apes his primary test subject. His quest to succeed is amplified by the fact that his father suffers from the degenerative disease.

He brings one of the apes home when things don't go according to plan with one of the test subjects and raises it at home. In a mere matter of movie minutes, the prime ape moves from baby to 3 years old and then to 8 years old. I think that the movie would've been better served to spend more time focusing on these formative years as the ape's personality as well as his relationship with Franco's character developed.

The eye-candy in this movie is adequately played by Freida Pinto, but her character's relationship with Franco's is superficial and served no purpose in furthering the story.

The happy family gets broken up when the ape gets locked away, and it's then that the ape plots his primate revolution. The ape's motives become fuzzy at this stage. Does he want to escape his prsion? Does he want to free his comrades? Does he want to return home? Does he want to flee to the forest? Does he want to take over the planet? Or all of the aforementioned?

The reason for the ape's incarceration does not seem to be in keeping with its apparent heightened intelligence, but it does serve the purpose of forcing it to eventually revolt against its human captors.

The CGI was excellent, but the plot of the movie jumps from A to D, while missing out on B and C, all culminating in a final fight sequence where the suddenly amazingly slick co-ordination of the simian army came to the fore, which I'm sure would put many human armies to shame.

I think that the movie could've done with a shorter final fight scene, less focus on the ape's time in captivity, and added on a few more minutes during the ape's formative years to really push through an element of a more enlightened creature usurping man's dominance on earth.

2.5/10!!! The movie reaches its peak far too early and then it's all downhill from there.

5. What's Your Number (2011) - Anna Faris, Chris Evans

Anna Faris plays Ally, a woman who reaches a stage in her life when she would like to settle down with Mr Right. However, after reading a magazine article she realises that she just may have slept with too many men for her to be anybody's Mrs Right. After a chance encounter with a former lover she sets off on a quest to track down her former lovers in the hope that one of them is Mr Right thereby increasing her prospects of finding Mr Right without increasing her number of sexual partners beyond the magical number of 20.

She enlists the help of her womanising neighbour Collin, played by Chris Evans, to aid her on her mission, resulting in many supposedly funny encounters. The relationship between Ally and Collin is akin to one of siblings, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see where this movie is heading.

2/10!!!!!!!!! The movie is billed as a romantic comedy, yet the comedic moments are few and far between (Ally's interaction with her friends provides the funniest moments in the movie) and the romance is non-existent.

Thanks for the reviews matey, I've got one nit-pick though...

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes is an awesome movie. Ok its not a full on guns blazing actioner or even an immensely deep drama with hints of mystery etc... but its a very delicate balance of humour, drama, philosophy, action and character driven plots.

You say that the plot for Caesar was fuzzy and consfusing... Are you sure you were paying attention while watching?
I thought the character developement and arc for Caesar was one of the best of modern cinema and mainly down to its simplicity combined with originality.

Also, 2.5 out of 10 (the same as 25% in the way I'd rate movies)?...

... Sure there are a couple of down points, one I noticed was the film being so short in running time, but they're hardly recognisable and the rest of the film makes up for those tiny indescretions. Apes is one of the few movies of new that I've rated at 100%.

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Thanks for the comments. I didn't particularly like Apes but I guess that's what so fun about watching movies and reading other people's review about them.. One man's treasure truly can be another man's trash.

I won't try to convince anybody to like or not to like a movie, but merely voice my views on a movie in the most objective way possible, so I'm glad some people enjoyed the movie even though I didn't.

I look forward to more disagreements in future, but I'm sure there'll also be many movies about which we share similar feelings.

I think I'm more with you on this one, the development/arc of Caesar was definitely the strongest and most enjoyable part of the film, in fact it's what makes the movie so enjoyable.

I've given it a and I do feel that other aspects could have been improved on instead of just being put in there to let Caeser develop more, but when you sit back, relax and watch this film then it really is very enjoyable and I'd definitely disagree with such a low rating.

Good reviews anyway, the writing is good and I'll be looking forward to seeing what films you actually like

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6. Beach, The (2001) - Leonardo DiCaprio, Virginie Ledoyen, Guillaume Canet, Tilda Swinton, Robert Carlyle


DiCaprio (who was still riding the crest of a wave following his turn in Titanic) plays an American youth who travels to Asia to seek adventure in an attempt to leave his past behind. His adventurous streak leads him, together two french tourists (Canet and the stunning Ledoyen), on a quest to find an island utopia after procuring a map from a mad man (Carlyle). They are not the first people to reach the paradise, and their interaction with the people who already inhabit the area is a microcosm of society as a whole. Even in paradise, work is needed to maintain the society, relationships fray, and power corrupts. The extent to which people will go to achieve peace and harmony comes to the fore in this movie, raising the question "Does the end justify the means?" and also highlights the fact that it may very well be the pursuit of paradise that causes the greatest disharmony.

Carlyle's cameo is entertaing and is a precursor to a character's later descent into this similar madness himself, and it is at this point that the movie undergoes an interesting change of ‘texture’. The acting is passable and the musical score suits the movie and its jaw-dropping setting well. I'm not really a fan of DiCaprio, but he plays the central character (who is the catalyst for all the events in the movie) well, and it therefore does not detract from the movie that other characters around him do not really develop much throughout.

7/10!!!!!!! The story moves along at a swift pace and conveys a message about the destructive nature of people while being entertaining at the same time.

7. Hurt Locker, The (2008) – Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty


This Academy Award winner is billed as a movie with great suspense and tension throughout, and the opening scene seems to meet this requirement, as members of the US Army are deployed to disarm a bomb in the streets of Iraq.

The dialogue is a bit cheesy however, and seems a bit overworked, but there’s no denying the tension. The movie then sees a new cavalier member join the team in Iraq, which shakes up the usually conservative individuals in the team. They then go around the city trying to disarm bombs while some attempt at character development is made. The movie falls short in this aspect, as one character is the focal point, with disregard for the interesting support cast who are merely touched upon, and even then, the main character’s actions and motivations are never really explained, with some of his actions appearing to be inconsistent, especially when viewing the movie as a whole. The movie also never maintains the high level of tension it created in the opening sequences, and the viewer merely goes through the motions as the characters tackle the tasks at hand.

There is no plot of which to speak, apart from the disarming of bombs, the dialogue is far from memorable and the tension wanes after the opening scene. That said, the movie is fairly fun to watch, even though the characters seem like mere caricatures of people.

5/10!!!!! Overrated but still a decent watch.

8. Universal Soldier (1992) – Jean-Claude van Damme, Dolph Lungren


Two soldiers die in the line of duty. Their bodies get salvaged in the Universal Soldier project and they are transformed into cyborgs and become part of a well drilled team of operatives who carry out government orders without question or conscience.

However, they start remembering their pasts and developing independent thought, and this leads to conflict between the operatives and their commanding officers, but mainly between the operatives inter se.

Van Damme has the dazed and confused look perfected, and he utilises it well in this movie, while Lungren’s turn as the maniacal soldier still mentally trapped in the harrows of the Vietnam War is as twisted as it is apt.

5.5/10!!!!!! An entertaining action movie.

9. Empire of the Sun (1987) - (Christian Bale, John Malkovich, Joe Pantoliano, Miranda Richardson)


A young Bale plays the role of an English boy living in Shanghai with his affluent parents, but who gets separated from them when the Japanese invade in WWII. The tale focuses on the heart and devotion of the young boy and his undying hope of finally reuniting with his parents. Along the way he meets a motley bunch people, all with their own plans and motives.

The boy’s passion is endearing throughout, and coupling this with his naiveté in certain situations, and unparalleled maturity in others, allows the boy to more than hold his own as the main character of the movie. Thrown in the middle of this is the respect and admiration he affords the Japanese soldiers, especially their pilots – the very people responsible for his tumultuous situation.

8/10!!!!!!!! Another compelling tale from Spielberg. A true gem.

10. Iron-Man (2008) – (Robert Downey Jr, Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow)


This movie is based on a Marvel comic book of the same name and its star is Tony Stark, a brilliant scientist who uses the fame and fortune that accompanies it to party like a rock star.

The source of his wealth is the company he inherited from his father which now designs and sells weapons to the US military. He is ultimately forced to use this same know-how to save himself when he is placed in a life-changingly perilous situation.

Many superhero movies lose their punch when embarking on a tale of origin, but this movie had enough action to go along with the character and plot development to make this a very good movie.

6.5/10!!!!!!! Lots of witticisms and packed full of stunning action sequences, but it is Downey Jr’s endearing portrayal of an alcoholic snob with a heart of gold that is the highlight of the movie.

11. Amazing Spider-Man (2012) - (Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Dennis Leary)


Based on the Marvel comic book of the same title, this movie is a revised take of the origins of Spider-Man. Peter Parker was orphaned and was raised by his aunt and uncle, a relationship that is hardly developed in the movie. He tries to investigate his scientist father's past which leads him ultimately to be bitten by a spider which was the subject of his father's research. This leads him into a battle with another scientist who aims to use cross-species gene splicing to treat human frailties.

There is practically no chemistry between Stone and Garfield. Sheen's Uncle Ben is not endearing at all and there was no "with great power comes great responsibility" speech. Spider-Man's exploration of his powers was filled with eye-rolling moments and he is apparently impervious to pain with a Wolverine-esque healing ability. The dynamics in the interactions between the school bully and Parker also does not make any sense at all.

It is hard to watch a Spider-Man movie when you do not actually care if Spider-Man is successful with his goals but he has virtually no redeeming qualities in this movie. Characters in the movie eventually find out who Spider-Man is, and their reactions to the revelation are strange to say the least.

The movie drags on in parts and then comes to an abrupt halt. The action sequences were okay, but the last one was underwhelming, and for an origins movie it had very little character development.

2/10!! Largely disappointing movie, which fortunately did not run longer than 2 hours excluding the final credits.

Fair Game higher than Hurt Locker, Rise, and Avengers. Different strokes for different folks. I remember when I was 13 I was excited about a two second shot of Crawford's breasts, that's about it. Enjoy the reviews, keep them coming.

Some ratings are very strict. I'd love to know your top 10 favourite films.

Off the top of my head, they include Primal Fear, Magnolia, The Other Side of the Bed (musical), Broken Wings, 12 Monkeys, Saint Ange, The Dark Knight, See No Evil Hear No Evil, The Last Samurai, Ben-Hur.

I do agree on his Avengers Reviews.