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Originally Posted by Mary Loquacious
I...
was only teasing, but HavePlant has inadvertently stumbled onto my dark secret. My... curse. Read on, if you have the courage...
WARNING: "The Dark Secret of Mary Loquacious" spoilers below
It all started one day when I decided to dye my hair, and I walked down the street to the Curl Up and Dye salon, where I always had my hair done. Little did I know that I was on a collision course with destiny, in the form of scientists who were performing gamma ray experiments near the salon. A chemical in the dye must reacted violently to the radiation, because the incandescent red struck blind all who saw it, including the poor hairdresser. She was the first to be harmed... but then my husband, who was sitting at home waiting for me, saw it, as well. He... never forgave me. He divorced me soon after, leaving me penniless and alone, with only ramen noodles and wet cigarette butts to eat. I spent my days in fear that my hats would slip, never able to look at myself in the mirror, never going out in public for fear that yet another innocent would be hurt.
But no longer. My secret is out, and I will no longer hide from the world! No hair dresser is safe! The beautician world will pay for what it has done to me! I am bad. I am evil. And I will have my vengeance, as... The Red Scare!!! MWHAA-HAA-HAAA!!!
It all started one day when I decided to dye my hair, and I walked down the street to the Curl Up and Dye salon, where I always had my hair done. Little did I know that I was on a collision course with destiny, in the form of scientists who were performing gamma ray experiments near the salon. A chemical in the dye must reacted violently to the radiation, because the incandescent red struck blind all who saw it, including the poor hairdresser. She was the first to be harmed... but then my husband, who was sitting at home waiting for me, saw it, as well. He... never forgave me. He divorced me soon after, leaving me penniless and alone, with only ramen noodles and wet cigarette butts to eat. I spent my days in fear that my hats would slip, never able to look at myself in the mirror, never going out in public for fear that yet another innocent would be hurt.
But no longer. My secret is out, and I will no longer hide from the world! No hair dresser is safe! The beautician world will pay for what it has done to me! I am bad. I am evil. And I will have my vengeance, as... The Red Scare!!! MWHAA-HAA-HAAA!!!
Damn broad keeps disappearing on us.
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"Today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."