Part of the reason I spend a lot of time here is that I take film seriously (like most of us). It is a major aspect of my life. I’m also an unemotional person (some would say a psychopath), and that means films are pretty much the only thing that incites an emotional reaction from me.
I realised quite recently that being so attached to any kind of art is an isolating experience. There is almost no one I can truly share anything I like with, because chances are, they’ll ruin it for me. When I was a kid, my parents indoctrinated me into film, I’ll give them that. But I very quickly came to take the lead and after I turned 16, I’d pretty much always be the one introducing them to all things cinema. The same applies to my entire friendship group and even my colleagues.
It recently struck me that it’s an unfulfilling and counter-intuitive thing to do. Mad, basically. The dominant emotion for me when I show someone a film is the desire to share my admiration. Naturally, I am prepared for difference of opinion, critical discussion and whatnot. There are films I love that those close to me detest and vice versa. But there is a specific lack of appreciation that is hard to classify and that truly hurts on a physical level. I was watching something 20 minutes ago with someone who commented on the actress’ hair, something along the lines that the woman wouldn’t be able to keep it in such perfect condition and so well-curled without help in the house (it’s unambiguous that there’s no help living with them). And that’s going to sound crazy, but that killed the entire film for me, though I’d seen it a few times before and loved it.
I can’t explain why - I’m not the suspension of disbelief kind of person, so it’s not that it ‘threw me out of the story’, or anything like that - but I know from experience that from now on, if I ever watch it again, I’ll be thinking about her hair, coming up with arguments for and against whether she’d really be able to do a blow dry like that every day, and so forth. To many that will sound ridiculous, but it’s pure agony, like being told Santa is not real when you’re a child, I guess. Incidentally, I think the reason the woman has such perfect hair is grounded well enough in the narrative, but the fact I mention it just goes to show. It’s not about her hair, of course, but about that feeling that you can’t control how others perceive something - nor should you want to - and consequently, any attempt to share something you love leaves one extremely exposed. I never really thought about it like that before.
There are certain benefits in watching films in company, new perspectives, POV exposure, sure, I’ve always thought so. But today I wondered for the first time if there isn’t a kind of masochism to it. It seems aficionados can only really relate to and communicate with other aficionados, because such people at least know how to be tactful and not to ruin someone’s enjoyment. Even if you hate a film, you know how to sit it out and not to affect someone’s perception, then maybe express your view politely. Such experiences are worse than any kind of spoiler, but it’s the same sense that you can’t get back what people take from you.
No, I’m not yet high (that’s Friday), just very annoyed. Can anyone relate at all? Have you ever wished you haven’t shown/shared something? It’s not as simplistic as reading people your poetry and expecting them to love it. It’s not your art and you don’t own it, but you expect a level of respect, I guess. I don’t know.
I realised quite recently that being so attached to any kind of art is an isolating experience. There is almost no one I can truly share anything I like with, because chances are, they’ll ruin it for me. When I was a kid, my parents indoctrinated me into film, I’ll give them that. But I very quickly came to take the lead and after I turned 16, I’d pretty much always be the one introducing them to all things cinema. The same applies to my entire friendship group and even my colleagues.
It recently struck me that it’s an unfulfilling and counter-intuitive thing to do. Mad, basically. The dominant emotion for me when I show someone a film is the desire to share my admiration. Naturally, I am prepared for difference of opinion, critical discussion and whatnot. There are films I love that those close to me detest and vice versa. But there is a specific lack of appreciation that is hard to classify and that truly hurts on a physical level. I was watching something 20 minutes ago with someone who commented on the actress’ hair, something along the lines that the woman wouldn’t be able to keep it in such perfect condition and so well-curled without help in the house (it’s unambiguous that there’s no help living with them). And that’s going to sound crazy, but that killed the entire film for me, though I’d seen it a few times before and loved it.
I can’t explain why - I’m not the suspension of disbelief kind of person, so it’s not that it ‘threw me out of the story’, or anything like that - but I know from experience that from now on, if I ever watch it again, I’ll be thinking about her hair, coming up with arguments for and against whether she’d really be able to do a blow dry like that every day, and so forth. To many that will sound ridiculous, but it’s pure agony, like being told Santa is not real when you’re a child, I guess. Incidentally, I think the reason the woman has such perfect hair is grounded well enough in the narrative, but the fact I mention it just goes to show. It’s not about her hair, of course, but about that feeling that you can’t control how others perceive something - nor should you want to - and consequently, any attempt to share something you love leaves one extremely exposed. I never really thought about it like that before.
There are certain benefits in watching films in company, new perspectives, POV exposure, sure, I’ve always thought so. But today I wondered for the first time if there isn’t a kind of masochism to it. It seems aficionados can only really relate to and communicate with other aficionados, because such people at least know how to be tactful and not to ruin someone’s enjoyment. Even if you hate a film, you know how to sit it out and not to affect someone’s perception, then maybe express your view politely. Such experiences are worse than any kind of spoiler, but it’s the same sense that you can’t get back what people take from you.
No, I’m not yet high (that’s Friday), just very annoyed. Can anyone relate at all? Have you ever wished you haven’t shown/shared something? It’s not as simplistic as reading people your poetry and expecting them to love it. It’s not your art and you don’t own it, but you expect a level of respect, I guess. I don’t know.
Last edited by AgrippinaX; 02-17-21 at 08:53 PM.