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Less than Zero
(directed by Marek Kanievska, 1987)
This is one of those movies that is so bad I refused to shut it off (even though I wanted to) just because I imagined that writing the review for it would be fun. To be honest, Less than Zero wasn't a total failure -- it picked up IN THE LAST THIRTY MINUTES but everything before then was just a pain inducing mess. I literally felt the pain of watching this movie in my bones. Watching this movie is like getting cancer, but being cured of it, because it's terrible and painful in the beginning, but you survive it, and you walk away feeling pretty good.
Robert Downey Jr., Andrew McCarthy and Jami Gertz play high school friends who meet up, I think it was, six months after their graduation. Andrew McCarthy has gone to college on the east coast, but Jami Gertz and Robert Downey Jr. are doing nothing but taking drugs and modeling (well, Jami Gertz is.) Robert Downey Jr.'s character, Julian, has been getting drugs from his evil friend played by James Spader, who now wants $50,000 from him. All of these characters are very rich and Julian can easily get $50,000 from his father, or from Andrew McCarthy's father, but Julian comes from a dysfunctional family and it isn't easy. At least, I thought the family was dysfunctional -- later it's revealed that his dad just wants him to stop taking drugs -- but it still looks dysfunctional. His dad won't let his son crash for the night at his house.
Jami Gertz... I thought I had never heard of her before, but it turns out she played Star in The Lost Boys... I thought she was awful in Less than Zero as Blair. One of the most annoying characters ever. Bad delivery, obnoxious traits, poofy hair. She's also Andrew McCarthy's girlfriend in the film and he could do much better than her. Actually, I never thought Andrew McCarthy was hot before until I watched this movie. I could have understood him being hooked up with someone like her, but damn, Andrew McCarthy's appearance was the best thing going for Less than Zero. He even shows his ass very early in the film. I wanted to squeeze it (annoyingly, there's a closeup of that Jami Gertz doing it later.)
Robert Downey Jr. was good in this - but it took him a long time to get interesting. They don't really deal with the subject of him being a drug addict all that well until late in the movie. It almost feels like an afterthought -- like during the last thirty minutes, they suddenly realized they were actually a movie and they needed to tell a story. You could literally watch the last half hour of this movie and understand everything without needing to watch what came before it. Most of the time, Less than Zero focuses on the party scenes and the environments of the settings the scenes take place in. The film has great atmosphere, great set design, wonderful cinematography... but it's an explosion of superficiality. I'm not against any of this, but the script is like an orange that was barely squeezed (kinda like Andrew McCarthy's ass.) A lot of scenes take place in clubs with lots of televisions sitting everywhere. Woooooooo! TV's! Very 1980's! TECHNOLOGY! Let's dance! Dancing, drugging, music and Andrew McCarthy walking around aimlessly, smiling at everybody. Seriously -- these characters don't do much during the first half of the movie. It's as if Less than Zero, the movie, is on drugs.
But Robert Downey Jr. has always been an intriguing character and without his presence in the film, it would have been a total dud. Considering how in real life, he was (or is?) a notorious drug addict, Less than Zero seems hauntingly real... although, I have no idea if Robert Downey Jr. himself ever had to give guys blowjobs in order to pay for his drug habit. It was very sad to his character in Less than Zero have to do that... but it woke me up, at least. It drugged me.
Say No to Less than Zero.
I wanted to give this movie zero stars because it's called Less than Zero, but that wouldn't be entirely accurate. However, two stars is being pretty nice. I can be nice, however.
(directed by Marek Kanievska, 1987)
This is one of those movies that is so bad I refused to shut it off (even though I wanted to) just because I imagined that writing the review for it would be fun. To be honest, Less than Zero wasn't a total failure -- it picked up IN THE LAST THIRTY MINUTES but everything before then was just a pain inducing mess. I literally felt the pain of watching this movie in my bones. Watching this movie is like getting cancer, but being cured of it, because it's terrible and painful in the beginning, but you survive it, and you walk away feeling pretty good.
Robert Downey Jr., Andrew McCarthy and Jami Gertz play high school friends who meet up, I think it was, six months after their graduation. Andrew McCarthy has gone to college on the east coast, but Jami Gertz and Robert Downey Jr. are doing nothing but taking drugs and modeling (well, Jami Gertz is.) Robert Downey Jr.'s character, Julian, has been getting drugs from his evil friend played by James Spader, who now wants $50,000 from him. All of these characters are very rich and Julian can easily get $50,000 from his father, or from Andrew McCarthy's father, but Julian comes from a dysfunctional family and it isn't easy. At least, I thought the family was dysfunctional -- later it's revealed that his dad just wants him to stop taking drugs -- but it still looks dysfunctional. His dad won't let his son crash for the night at his house.
Jami Gertz... I thought I had never heard of her before, but it turns out she played Star in The Lost Boys... I thought she was awful in Less than Zero as Blair. One of the most annoying characters ever. Bad delivery, obnoxious traits, poofy hair. She's also Andrew McCarthy's girlfriend in the film and he could do much better than her. Actually, I never thought Andrew McCarthy was hot before until I watched this movie. I could have understood him being hooked up with someone like her, but damn, Andrew McCarthy's appearance was the best thing going for Less than Zero. He even shows his ass very early in the film. I wanted to squeeze it (annoyingly, there's a closeup of that Jami Gertz doing it later.)
Robert Downey Jr. was good in this - but it took him a long time to get interesting. They don't really deal with the subject of him being a drug addict all that well until late in the movie. It almost feels like an afterthought -- like during the last thirty minutes, they suddenly realized they were actually a movie and they needed to tell a story. You could literally watch the last half hour of this movie and understand everything without needing to watch what came before it. Most of the time, Less than Zero focuses on the party scenes and the environments of the settings the scenes take place in. The film has great atmosphere, great set design, wonderful cinematography... but it's an explosion of superficiality. I'm not against any of this, but the script is like an orange that was barely squeezed (kinda like Andrew McCarthy's ass.) A lot of scenes take place in clubs with lots of televisions sitting everywhere. Woooooooo! TV's! Very 1980's! TECHNOLOGY! Let's dance! Dancing, drugging, music and Andrew McCarthy walking around aimlessly, smiling at everybody. Seriously -- these characters don't do much during the first half of the movie. It's as if Less than Zero, the movie, is on drugs.
But Robert Downey Jr. has always been an intriguing character and without his presence in the film, it would have been a total dud. Considering how in real life, he was (or is?) a notorious drug addict, Less than Zero seems hauntingly real... although, I have no idea if Robert Downey Jr. himself ever had to give guys blowjobs in order to pay for his drug habit. It was very sad to his character in Less than Zero have to do that... but it woke me up, at least. It drugged me.
Say No to Less than Zero.
I wanted to give this movie zero stars because it's called Less than Zero, but that wouldn't be entirely accurate. However, two stars is being pretty nice. I can be nice, however.