← Back to Reviews
in
Loose Cannons
(directed by Bob Clark, 1990)
This is an incomplete movie review for an incomplete movie about some incomplete people that'll only cause the completion of one thing -- you shutting off the film 10 minutes before it was supposed to end, which is what I did. Hell, you might shut it off even earlier but after reading this review, hopefully you'll never even start this plane crash of a film.
Dan Aykroyd and Gene Hackman play an unlikely teamed up cop duo that go in search of an Adolf Hitler porno film, or something, while battling a bunch of bad German guys with guns and other assorted mayhem. This is supposed to be a comedy crossed with Lethal Weapon or something, though it is an odd experiment and a very, very lifeless motion picture.
What compelled me to purchase this $6 DVD that I totally wasted my money on was the prospect of seeing nutty Dan Aykroyd play a crazy schizophrenic with a bunch of personalities that surface at random and supposedly aid him in his police business. At the very beginning of the film, I actually thought this movie might be going somewhere -- it was very odd and quirky, not laugh at loud funny at all, but I thought Aykroyd's character was interesting. He is an extremely analytical character who can't help but be annoying to the laidback character played by Hackman. I sympathized with him. But when they later walk into an S&M club and start trouble -- the film, directed by Porky's director Bob Clark, features a lot of odd sex themes in it -- Aykroyd's multiple personalities start coming out of him and I suddenly realized this movie was gonna be a very big mistake.
I'm fine with getting to know Aykroyd's character and even Hackman's character. They seemed okay together. There's a rather good scene with them at Aykroyd's house - which has no color in it, everything is white - that I thought made the film live a little. However, after this scene, it was back to the movie cemetery for Loose Cannons. I couldn't get interested at all in the whole plot about whatever it was they were supposed to be doing as cops. There were a bunch of stereotypical German characters and everything was meant to be serious, but stupid. There's lots of gun play in this movie and if that's all you care about, well, there's that, but I honestly did not give a damn about the story. I shut this movie off near the ending just because how it ended did not matter to me. Loose Cannons had potential, I thought, but it was an abortion. Dan Aykroyd's strange work when he starts unleashing his multiple personalities, imitating Road Runner and the Cowardly Lion and a bunch of other characters from children's TV shows, was disastrously bad and on a comedic level that's worse than the immature humor I witnessed in the Police Academy movies. It's even more weird and wrong in a movie that deals with porno kings, Hitler sex tapes, S&M clubs and bathhouses.
Loose Cannons, I wanted to like you, but you failed me. You completely failed me.
(directed by Bob Clark, 1990)
This is an incomplete movie review for an incomplete movie about some incomplete people that'll only cause the completion of one thing -- you shutting off the film 10 minutes before it was supposed to end, which is what I did. Hell, you might shut it off even earlier but after reading this review, hopefully you'll never even start this plane crash of a film.
Dan Aykroyd and Gene Hackman play an unlikely teamed up cop duo that go in search of an Adolf Hitler porno film, or something, while battling a bunch of bad German guys with guns and other assorted mayhem. This is supposed to be a comedy crossed with Lethal Weapon or something, though it is an odd experiment and a very, very lifeless motion picture.
What compelled me to purchase this $6 DVD that I totally wasted my money on was the prospect of seeing nutty Dan Aykroyd play a crazy schizophrenic with a bunch of personalities that surface at random and supposedly aid him in his police business. At the very beginning of the film, I actually thought this movie might be going somewhere -- it was very odd and quirky, not laugh at loud funny at all, but I thought Aykroyd's character was interesting. He is an extremely analytical character who can't help but be annoying to the laidback character played by Hackman. I sympathized with him. But when they later walk into an S&M club and start trouble -- the film, directed by Porky's director Bob Clark, features a lot of odd sex themes in it -- Aykroyd's multiple personalities start coming out of him and I suddenly realized this movie was gonna be a very big mistake.
I'm fine with getting to know Aykroyd's character and even Hackman's character. They seemed okay together. There's a rather good scene with them at Aykroyd's house - which has no color in it, everything is white - that I thought made the film live a little. However, after this scene, it was back to the movie cemetery for Loose Cannons. I couldn't get interested at all in the whole plot about whatever it was they were supposed to be doing as cops. There were a bunch of stereotypical German characters and everything was meant to be serious, but stupid. There's lots of gun play in this movie and if that's all you care about, well, there's that, but I honestly did not give a damn about the story. I shut this movie off near the ending just because how it ended did not matter to me. Loose Cannons had potential, I thought, but it was an abortion. Dan Aykroyd's strange work when he starts unleashing his multiple personalities, imitating Road Runner and the Cowardly Lion and a bunch of other characters from children's TV shows, was disastrously bad and on a comedic level that's worse than the immature humor I witnessed in the Police Academy movies. It's even more weird and wrong in a movie that deals with porno kings, Hitler sex tapes, S&M clubs and bathhouses.
Loose Cannons, I wanted to like you, but you failed me. You completely failed me.