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Piranha 3D
2010, Alexandre Aja
I know trying to review such a flick is rather pointless, but even with zero expectations and the right attitude this one is barely worth a mention for me. Watchable trash, I suppose, but not nearly as fun as I had hoped, even when not expecting much. The reason I actually went to see it was for the Dreyfuss cameo. If you haven't heard, he reprises his role from Jaws. Well, sort of (his character is named Matt, but not Hooper). At least it was the very opening scene, so I didn't have to wait around for it. Dreyfuss, dressed in the familiar jeans and ski cap from the Spielberg classic, is sitting on a small boat in the middle of an Arizona lake, listening to and mumbling along with a rendition of "Show Me the Way to Go Home". While out there, an earthquake opens up at the bottom of the lake, causing a whirlpool and releasing a school of nasty prehistoric super piranha from the dark depths. Suffice to say, it is Dreyfuss' only scene in the film (though what is left of his mangled corpse does make an appropriate Ben Gardner-like appearance later). So there's that, you know...for any of you unscrupulous enough to buy a ticket for something else but sneak in just for the Jaws homage.
And that's about all the "plot" one needs. It's Spring Break so this Arizona lake is about to be full of young, dumb, scantily-clad (or nude) teenagers, all splashing around for the honor of being the next meal. Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames play the local deputies, Jerry O'Connell a crass Joe Francis type filming an episode of his trashy "Girls Gone Wild"-ish video, Adam Scott is the scientist called in to investigate the quake, Steven R. McQueen (the Hollywood legend's grandson) is Shue's teenaged son, Christopher Lloyd is the local fishstore owner, and everybody else is pretty much there to get naked and bloody.
If Piranha 3D's aim was to be a hip comment on '70s low-budget Creature Features (ala Scream and Slasher Flicks), it is devoid of any real wit and its mild bouts of playfulness come off mostly as forced. Joe Dante's 1978 flick for Roger Corman had more fun. If they were just going for gore, well, there's plenty of that. Zero surprises, although what surprises could there be, really? As I say, almost pointless to review, but as far as these things go...eh. On the Joe Bob Briggs scale of Drive-In Bs, it does have PLENTY of the big three: Blood, Breasts and Beasts. And in 3D! 3DD in some cases.
GRADE: D+
Piranha 3D
2010, Alexandre Aja
I know trying to review such a flick is rather pointless, but even with zero expectations and the right attitude this one is barely worth a mention for me. Watchable trash, I suppose, but not nearly as fun as I had hoped, even when not expecting much. The reason I actually went to see it was for the Dreyfuss cameo. If you haven't heard, he reprises his role from Jaws. Well, sort of (his character is named Matt, but not Hooper). At least it was the very opening scene, so I didn't have to wait around for it. Dreyfuss, dressed in the familiar jeans and ski cap from the Spielberg classic, is sitting on a small boat in the middle of an Arizona lake, listening to and mumbling along with a rendition of "Show Me the Way to Go Home". While out there, an earthquake opens up at the bottom of the lake, causing a whirlpool and releasing a school of nasty prehistoric super piranha from the dark depths. Suffice to say, it is Dreyfuss' only scene in the film (though what is left of his mangled corpse does make an appropriate Ben Gardner-like appearance later). So there's that, you know...for any of you unscrupulous enough to buy a ticket for something else but sneak in just for the Jaws homage.
And that's about all the "plot" one needs. It's Spring Break so this Arizona lake is about to be full of young, dumb, scantily-clad (or nude) teenagers, all splashing around for the honor of being the next meal. Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames play the local deputies, Jerry O'Connell a crass Joe Francis type filming an episode of his trashy "Girls Gone Wild"-ish video, Adam Scott is the scientist called in to investigate the quake, Steven R. McQueen (the Hollywood legend's grandson) is Shue's teenaged son, Christopher Lloyd is the local fishstore owner, and everybody else is pretty much there to get naked and bloody.
If Piranha 3D's aim was to be a hip comment on '70s low-budget Creature Features (ala Scream and Slasher Flicks), it is devoid of any real wit and its mild bouts of playfulness come off mostly as forced. Joe Dante's 1978 flick for Roger Corman had more fun. If they were just going for gore, well, there's plenty of that. Zero surprises, although what surprises could there be, really? As I say, almost pointless to review, but as far as these things go...eh. On the Joe Bob Briggs scale of Drive-In Bs, it does have PLENTY of the big three: Blood, Breasts and Beasts. And in 3D! 3DD in some cases.
GRADE: D+