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Under Siege
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Final Verdict: [Meh...]
Under Siege
Military Action / English / 1992
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Never seen a Steven Seagal movie.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
Cheeseburgers, Eggs, Chicken, Shrimp, Pies, Meat Carcasses, Meat Slop, really just guys cuttin' apart chunks of meat and throwin' 'em at people to messily eat, it's a fantastic little quirk of the movie. Also kissing.
Die Hard on a boat!
Die Hard on a boat!
It'saStevenSeagalmovie,butit's
Die Hard on a boat!
Actually, that's a bit over-complimentary. It's missing much of what made Die Hard great including the radio conversations, reincorporation, and whatnot, but the bare premise is the same. Guys take over a boat and neglect to concern themselves with the fact that they just inadvertently burnt Badass #1's pies, and burnt pie makes Badass #1 angry.
It features much of the resourcefulness we saw from John McClane which makes for quasi-McGuyver moments (even if some of them like using a microwave as a timed detonator don't make any fricken' sense) and most of the banter comes from between the three main villains including Colm Meaney who's underplayed as usual, Gary Busey, who blesses us with some exceptionally inappropriate drag, and Tommy Lee Jones who mugs the **** out his scenes, especially near the end when he goes off the deepend singing and babbling.
I think the formula is done a disservice in two major respects. First one being the female lead who set up to be a Model Girl who after some token "I'm for women's lib" dialog she utters the phrase:
Well, ma'am, I'm afraid that's the stupidest rule in the history of the universe because you're trapped on a boat surrounded by people WHO WANT TO KILL YOU!
And she does, but fortunately not before Seagal gets in the most drearily cynical line he could could muster:
I've never seen a Steven Seagal movie before, but I'd have to possess a profoundly suicidal inability to learn if I couldn't predict that he'd snog her face by the end of the movie. And he does. **** you.
At least McClane had a relationship with the face he was snogging.
Secondly, there's this bizarre lack of punch to the whole movie. Violence just comes and goes with nary a whisper of concern and I'm not sure if it's partly Seagal's general Badass Ambivalence that fails to sell the impact of killing someone or what, I'm inclined to think it's editing. When Seagal manages to stab Tommy Lee Jones in the skull and stuff him in a monitor you'd think that'd be a pretty big moment, but it feels to casual like, "Welp, done that, time to finish the movie".
There's not much in the way of a musical sting or lingering camera or even decent one-liner to cap off the moment. The Big Bad just dies and the protagonist walks away. *shrugs*
Yay.
Die Hard on a boat!
Die Hard on a boat!
It'saStevenSeagalmovie,butit's
Die Hard on a boat!
Actually, that's a bit over-complimentary. It's missing much of what made Die Hard great including the radio conversations, reincorporation, and whatnot, but the bare premise is the same. Guys take over a boat and neglect to concern themselves with the fact that they just inadvertently burnt Badass #1's pies, and burnt pie makes Badass #1 angry.
It features much of the resourcefulness we saw from John McClane which makes for quasi-McGuyver moments (even if some of them like using a microwave as a timed detonator don't make any fricken' sense) and most of the banter comes from between the three main villains including Colm Meaney who's underplayed as usual, Gary Busey, who blesses us with some exceptionally inappropriate drag, and Tommy Lee Jones who mugs the **** out his scenes, especially near the end when he goes off the deepend singing and babbling.
I think the formula is done a disservice in two major respects. First one being the female lead who set up to be a Model Girl who after some token "I'm for women's lib" dialog she utters the phrase:
Originally Posted by Model Girl
I have a little rule about killing people.
Originally Posted by Steven Seagal
I'm thrilled to death to hear that.
At least McClane had a relationship with the face he was snogging.
Secondly, there's this bizarre lack of punch to the whole movie. Violence just comes and goes with nary a whisper of concern and I'm not sure if it's partly Seagal's general Badass Ambivalence that fails to sell the impact of killing someone or what, I'm inclined to think it's editing. When Seagal manages to stab Tommy Lee Jones in the skull and stuff him in a monitor you'd think that'd be a pretty big moment, but it feels to casual like, "Welp, done that, time to finish the movie".
There's not much in the way of a musical sting or lingering camera or even decent one-liner to cap off the moment. The Big Bad just dies and the protagonist walks away. *shrugs*
Yay.