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The Heroic Trio
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
WHAT IN THE **** WAS THAT!?
Thssssssttccqqu~ kehhh ggWHAT!?
I could not...
I co...
I take notes while I watch movies if I find stuff to bitch about, but the IMMEDIATE AND EXPONENTIALLY FREQUENT RATE AT WHICH THIS ****-*sigh* This is a ****ing stupid movie.
The dialog is worthless, the story is confusing, the characters... ****in' HEROIC TRIO where 1/3rd of them are babynappers and when confronted try to KILL THEMSELVES, god****...
PHYSICS DON'T EVEN WORK! God, physics get royally butt****ed in this movie; it was like a snuff film, a rape-filled snuff film where the victim is GRAVITY ITSELF.
SURE, there are moments where you just gotta laugh at how ******* absurd it is, but WOW is it boring and the levels of stupidity, I... seriously didn't take any notes for this movie, it was just so stupid, that I'm thinkin', "Well that was friggen' bad, there's no way I'll forget that" BUT THEN SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENS AND I COMPLETELY FORGET WHAT THE LAST THING WAS.
I can barely remember all the ****heap of this movie. All I can really remember is some totally out of nowhere nutjob with gardening shears out to kill all of the babies in a hospital because his own baby died, from the good guys dropping it on a RUSTY NAIL, which is a plot that immediately aborts and there's some wacko in the sewer OF COURSE IT SMELLS LIKE A SEWER, YOU DOLT, YOU'RE IN A ****ING SEWER! Then when they manage to blow up the ****er by sticking dynamite in his pants and he's still a ****off-lookin' skeleton they're all like "We destroyed his body, now we need to destroy his essence" and goes RIGHT THE **** TO PUNCHING HIM!
A pack of explosives detonating on his penis didn't kill the guy what makes you think PUNCHING HIM is gonna finish it!? Michelle Yeoh who's got invisibility powers as long as she's offscreen eventually gets possessed by the thing which involves strapping the thing to her hands and feet and going "run away, he's controlling me!"
Eventually a combination of bad editing and a horrible job of conveying her ability to resist his control has her dive off a building and we get the dramatic fall music to a montage of flashbacks all while the thing on her back makes the most UNSERIOUS ****ING FACE IN THE HISTORY OF DRAMA and his head explodes IN MID-****ING-AIR HOW IN THE FFF
Final Verdict: [Irredeemably Awful]
The Heroic Trio
Fantasy Action / Chinese / 1992
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
For the Action Movie Countdown.
Decided to look for other Michelle Yeoh movies, this came up.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
Decided to look for other Michelle Yeoh movies, this came up.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"I will kill ALL the babies!"
WHAT IN THE **** WAS THAT!?
Thssssssttccqqu~ kehhh ggWHAT!?
I could not...
I co...
I take notes while I watch movies if I find stuff to bitch about, but the IMMEDIATE AND EXPONENTIALLY FREQUENT RATE AT WHICH THIS ****-*sigh* This is a ****ing stupid movie.
The dialog is worthless, the story is confusing, the characters... ****in' HEROIC TRIO where 1/3rd of them are babynappers and when confronted try to KILL THEMSELVES, god****...
PHYSICS DON'T EVEN WORK! God, physics get royally butt****ed in this movie; it was like a snuff film, a rape-filled snuff film where the victim is GRAVITY ITSELF.
I can barely remember all the ****heap of this movie. All I can really remember is some totally out of nowhere nutjob with gardening shears out to kill all of the babies in a hospital because his own baby died, from the good guys dropping it on a RUSTY NAIL, which is a plot that immediately aborts and there's some wacko in the sewer OF COURSE IT SMELLS LIKE A SEWER, YOU DOLT, YOU'RE IN A ****ING SEWER! Then when they manage to blow up the ****er by sticking dynamite in his pants and he's still a ****off-lookin' skeleton they're all like "We destroyed his body, now we need to destroy his essence" and goes RIGHT THE **** TO PUNCHING HIM!
A pack of explosives detonating on his penis didn't kill the guy what makes you think PUNCHING HIM is gonna finish it!? Michelle Yeoh who's got invisibility powers as long as she's offscreen eventually gets possessed by the thing which involves strapping the thing to her hands and feet and going "run away, he's controlling me!"
Eventually a combination of bad editing and a horrible job of conveying her ability to resist his control has her dive off a building and we get the dramatic fall music to a montage of flashbacks all while the thing on her back makes the most UNSERIOUS ****ING FACE IN THE HISTORY OF DRAMA and his head explodes IN MID-****ING-AIR HOW IN THE FFF