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#227 - Planet of the Apes
Tim Burton, 2001
An astronaut crash-lands on a strange planet where apes have evolved to form their own civilisation that treats humans like slaves.
I can understand why Planet of the Apes would theoretically get a remake. It's a good high concept that has a strong capacity for socio-political allegory while also providing a superficially compelling narrative and great makeup effects. Of course, most of this gets thrown out (save perhaps the makeup effects) in favour of taking a lot of the most recognisable elements and trying to build a whole new story involving them. After a lengthy prologue involving a space station full of humans (including Mark Wahlberg playing the film's charmlessly stony astronaut protagonist who has a soft spot for his chimp astronaut friend), we are introduced to the titular planet when the chimp's ship disappears into a space-time anomaly and Wahlberg chases after him. From there, he soon notices that the planet is ruled by apes while the humans are all wild and incapable of...
Wait, they can talk?
Yeah, the fact that the conflict that drove the whole second act of the original film has been completely and illogically handwaved by this movie was probably the main sign that this was probably not going to be the most ideal way to try to remake it. Taking a handful of decent enough actors, caking them in ape make-up, and then letting them loose against a bunch of poorly acted human characters isn't going to make up for the fact that the film can't even seem to get its tone right. I know the original was sort of campy due to its being a sci-fi film from the 1960s, but here Burton and co. go overboard with building a load of mirthless gags into its world-building. Aside from a handful of painfully obvious references to the original film, the world-building leans towards the painfully comedic and simple - the orangutan-based apes are wacky white-collar types, the gorilla-based ones are warriors, while the chimpanzee-based ones seem to be the highest class. There are good and bad characters on all sides, but that doesn't seem to mean much as the film drags out Wahlberg and co.'s escape and the inevitable conflict with Tim Roth's villainous ape general. Also, there's a confused sort of love triangle between Wahlberg, a human woman (Estella Warren) and a female ape (Helena Bonham Carter) who is sympathetic to humans. That's not well-developed enough to care about, anyway.
In terms of creating sci-fi spectacle, Burton does attempt to provide a flashier update of the source material using modern technology but in doing so creates something that's ironically a much inferior-looking product. Apes here are capable of jumping great heights and distances but the wire-work is unsophisticated enough that the constant jumping never looks convincing. The quality of the ape makeup courtesy of the legendary Rick Baker may be a point in the film's favour, but it's still used to ludicrous effects. Throw in the fact that the whole thing devolves into an incredibly clichéd battle climax and that this film's attempt to provide its own spin on the original film's iconic twist ending and this just ends up being one of the best examples of how not to do a remake.
Tim Burton, 2001
An astronaut crash-lands on a strange planet where apes have evolved to form their own civilisation that treats humans like slaves.
I can understand why Planet of the Apes would theoretically get a remake. It's a good high concept that has a strong capacity for socio-political allegory while also providing a superficially compelling narrative and great makeup effects. Of course, most of this gets thrown out (save perhaps the makeup effects) in favour of taking a lot of the most recognisable elements and trying to build a whole new story involving them. After a lengthy prologue involving a space station full of humans (including Mark Wahlberg playing the film's charmlessly stony astronaut protagonist who has a soft spot for his chimp astronaut friend), we are introduced to the titular planet when the chimp's ship disappears into a space-time anomaly and Wahlberg chases after him. From there, he soon notices that the planet is ruled by apes while the humans are all wild and incapable of...
Wait, they can talk?
Yeah, the fact that the conflict that drove the whole second act of the original film has been completely and illogically handwaved by this movie was probably the main sign that this was probably not going to be the most ideal way to try to remake it. Taking a handful of decent enough actors, caking them in ape make-up, and then letting them loose against a bunch of poorly acted human characters isn't going to make up for the fact that the film can't even seem to get its tone right. I know the original was sort of campy due to its being a sci-fi film from the 1960s, but here Burton and co. go overboard with building a load of mirthless gags into its world-building. Aside from a handful of painfully obvious references to the original film, the world-building leans towards the painfully comedic and simple - the orangutan-based apes are wacky white-collar types, the gorilla-based ones are warriors, while the chimpanzee-based ones seem to be the highest class. There are good and bad characters on all sides, but that doesn't seem to mean much as the film drags out Wahlberg and co.'s escape and the inevitable conflict with Tim Roth's villainous ape general. Also, there's a confused sort of love triangle between Wahlberg, a human woman (Estella Warren) and a female ape (Helena Bonham Carter) who is sympathetic to humans. That's not well-developed enough to care about, anyway.
In terms of creating sci-fi spectacle, Burton does attempt to provide a flashier update of the source material using modern technology but in doing so creates something that's ironically a much inferior-looking product. Apes here are capable of jumping great heights and distances but the wire-work is unsophisticated enough that the constant jumping never looks convincing. The quality of the ape makeup courtesy of the legendary Rick Baker may be a point in the film's favour, but it's still used to ludicrous effects. Throw in the fact that the whole thing devolves into an incredibly clichéd battle climax and that this film's attempt to provide its own spin on the original film's iconic twist ending and this just ends up being one of the best examples of how not to do a remake.