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#216 - Disaster Movie
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, 2008
When disaster strikes New York City, a young man must venture into harm's way in order to find a way to stop the disaster.
When it comes to rating a piece of entertainment, I avoid using the zero rating, but every once in a while I end up watching a movie that makes me reconsider that rule. Disaster Movie is one such movie - it is yet another release by the notorious duo of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, who have been churning out a number of comedies that only do the most basic parodies of hit movies (sadly, this extends to comedies as well) using seriously witless jokes. Given the horrendously negative reputation of both these filmmakers and their cinematic output, it seemed almost inevitable that my tendency towards watching bad movies would lead me to watch at least one of their works, if only out of extremely morbid curiosity. With that in mind, why not make it their absolute worst one yet? All we are is dust in the wind, after all.
Even if your sense of humour leans toward the politically incorrect, even you might struggle to find anything remotely amusing about the jokes in Disaster Movie. Should you bring yourself to leave aside the more blatantly offensive jokes (such as the film's Carrie Bradshaw substitute being played by a man, the reveal that the movie's version of Princess Giselle from Enchanted is a transvestite, or even the various gay-panic jokes made about a totally naked Beowulf), you still have to contend with the fact that this movie is an incoherent mishmash of shallow pop culture references that get milked (quite literally, in one scene featuring the titular protagonist of Juno) for punchlines as crude as a PG-13 rating will allow - and then it turns out I've watched the unrated cut so they get even worse. This much is evident by the movie's finale, which is a recreation of the "I'm F***ing Matt Damon" song featuring every single character in the movie - and even after it's over there's still eleven minutes of closing credits (in a movie that doesn't even reach ninety minutes). How does that happen? I ask that question rhetorically, but the actual answer is apparently a gag reel that's just as bereft of laughs as the rest of the movie.
The movie frequently involves instances where the parodies merely consists of having its caricatures of characters recite actual lines from the original movies verbatim before a totally left-field punchline happens (such as several characters being crushed by Twister-style flying cows mere seconds after appearing). Some of them end up being a nightmarish kind of unfunny, such as the demonic Alvin and the Chipmunks wannabes that appear about halfway through the movie. As if the jokes aren't the most poorly written ones I've seen or heard in quite some time, not even the movie's cast can do good enough impressions in order to sell them at all (except possibly the movie's Juno substitute, but considering what the original was like that's hardly a point in this movie's favour). Disaster Movie deservedly earns its reputation as one of the worst movies ever made. The acting is horrendous, coherent plotting is sacrificed for the sake of humour that is painfully obvious at best and horribly distasteful at worst, the technical elements are terrible, and of course the musical numbers are atrocious. This is a strong contender for the worst movie I've ever seen and it actually has the lack of quality necessary to back up such a claim. Seriously the worst.
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, 2008
When disaster strikes New York City, a young man must venture into harm's way in order to find a way to stop the disaster.
When it comes to rating a piece of entertainment, I avoid using the zero rating, but every once in a while I end up watching a movie that makes me reconsider that rule. Disaster Movie is one such movie - it is yet another release by the notorious duo of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, who have been churning out a number of comedies that only do the most basic parodies of hit movies (sadly, this extends to comedies as well) using seriously witless jokes. Given the horrendously negative reputation of both these filmmakers and their cinematic output, it seemed almost inevitable that my tendency towards watching bad movies would lead me to watch at least one of their works, if only out of extremely morbid curiosity. With that in mind, why not make it their absolute worst one yet? All we are is dust in the wind, after all.
Even if your sense of humour leans toward the politically incorrect, even you might struggle to find anything remotely amusing about the jokes in Disaster Movie. Should you bring yourself to leave aside the more blatantly offensive jokes (such as the film's Carrie Bradshaw substitute being played by a man, the reveal that the movie's version of Princess Giselle from Enchanted is a transvestite, or even the various gay-panic jokes made about a totally naked Beowulf), you still have to contend with the fact that this movie is an incoherent mishmash of shallow pop culture references that get milked (quite literally, in one scene featuring the titular protagonist of Juno) for punchlines as crude as a PG-13 rating will allow - and then it turns out I've watched the unrated cut so they get even worse. This much is evident by the movie's finale, which is a recreation of the "I'm F***ing Matt Damon" song featuring every single character in the movie - and even after it's over there's still eleven minutes of closing credits (in a movie that doesn't even reach ninety minutes). How does that happen? I ask that question rhetorically, but the actual answer is apparently a gag reel that's just as bereft of laughs as the rest of the movie.
The movie frequently involves instances where the parodies merely consists of having its caricatures of characters recite actual lines from the original movies verbatim before a totally left-field punchline happens (such as several characters being crushed by Twister-style flying cows mere seconds after appearing). Some of them end up being a nightmarish kind of unfunny, such as the demonic Alvin and the Chipmunks wannabes that appear about halfway through the movie. As if the jokes aren't the most poorly written ones I've seen or heard in quite some time, not even the movie's cast can do good enough impressions in order to sell them at all (except possibly the movie's Juno substitute, but considering what the original was like that's hardly a point in this movie's favour). Disaster Movie deservedly earns its reputation as one of the worst movies ever made. The acting is horrendous, coherent plotting is sacrificed for the sake of humour that is painfully obvious at best and horribly distasteful at worst, the technical elements are terrible, and of course the musical numbers are atrocious. This is a strong contender for the worst movie I've ever seen and it actually has the lack of quality necessary to back up such a claim. Seriously the worst.