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#32 - Troll 2
Claudio Fragasso, 1990
A family goes on holiday to a country town, but it's actually populated by vegetarian goblins and the family's son is the only one who is aware of the danger.
Troll 2 has rightfully earned its reputation as one of the best worst movies ever made. Part of what makes it work, in my opinion, is that it does have a legitimately unsettling premise but it's just really badly handled. The concept of vegetarian goblins who have to transform humans into plants before eating them has the potential for some seriously disturbing body horror - despite this film's woeful execution of this concept, a scene such as Joshua's feverish nightmare of turning into a plant still has at least some effect even though it does just look like someone's just glued tree branches to his fingers while pouring green food colouring on his face. The fact that the goblins' dietary habits are the screenwriter's attempt at mocking self-righteous vegetarians makes it so much better - what better way to guarantee an entry into the bad movie hall of fame than to act like your schlocky no-budget horror movie is trying to deliver a message? It definitely worked for Birdemic.
As far as the acting goes, the fact that it was American actors directed by Italians off a roughly translated script means there are plenty of off-kilter dialogue moments - fortunately the bulk of the actors are either stilted enough or over-the-top enough to suit those lines. To the film's credit, I don't find Joshua annoying. A freckle-faced kid with a high-pitched voice who always looks like he's in constant anguish should be irritating as hell, but here I really do feel bad for the kid. The most memorable character is easily the film's main antagonist, a scenery-chewing witch who seems like she's playing every single Helena Bonham Carter role at once (wait, why is the leader of the goblins not actually a goblin? It's like Labyrinth or something.) The drawling father, the constantly-dazed mother, the gang of horny teenage boys, the grandpa ghost...like any cult classic worth its salt, there are a host of memorable characters (the movie's most memorable line does come from one of the teenage boys, after all).
On a technical level, the film is obviously awful. The effects are generally really bad and ruin some admittedly decent ideas in the process. I even watched this in the company of a friend who works in makeup and special effects - her running commentary on this was rather informative, to say the least. The music is heavily rooted in the '80s and is cheesy as hell, but at least it's the enjoyable kind of cheese. There are also plenty of ludicrous developments and gaps in the logic that it's probably better not to question, such as how the ghost of Joshua's grandpa can start manifesting physically and handing out Molotov cocktails or how "the power of goodness" can save the day. Even simple things such as asking why the goblins would expect humans to drink expired milk (especially when a goblin-in-disguise tries to sell it to a human despite it sitting out on a bench instead of in a fridge...and succeeds) are just baffling. If anything, the baffling nature of just about every aspect of this film is what makes it a true "classic". I don't even know how to rate it. It's a 0.5 in terms of quality, but a 5 in terms of enjoyment, so I guess I can just split the difference and give it 3. Normally that kind of rating goes to movies that I merely think are alright but nothing special. Troll 2 is definitely not alright, but it is most definitely special.
Claudio Fragasso, 1990
A family goes on holiday to a country town, but it's actually populated by vegetarian goblins and the family's son is the only one who is aware of the danger.
Troll 2 has rightfully earned its reputation as one of the best worst movies ever made. Part of what makes it work, in my opinion, is that it does have a legitimately unsettling premise but it's just really badly handled. The concept of vegetarian goblins who have to transform humans into plants before eating them has the potential for some seriously disturbing body horror - despite this film's woeful execution of this concept, a scene such as Joshua's feverish nightmare of turning into a plant still has at least some effect even though it does just look like someone's just glued tree branches to his fingers while pouring green food colouring on his face. The fact that the goblins' dietary habits are the screenwriter's attempt at mocking self-righteous vegetarians makes it so much better - what better way to guarantee an entry into the bad movie hall of fame than to act like your schlocky no-budget horror movie is trying to deliver a message? It definitely worked for Birdemic.
As far as the acting goes, the fact that it was American actors directed by Italians off a roughly translated script means there are plenty of off-kilter dialogue moments - fortunately the bulk of the actors are either stilted enough or over-the-top enough to suit those lines. To the film's credit, I don't find Joshua annoying. A freckle-faced kid with a high-pitched voice who always looks like he's in constant anguish should be irritating as hell, but here I really do feel bad for the kid. The most memorable character is easily the film's main antagonist, a scenery-chewing witch who seems like she's playing every single Helena Bonham Carter role at once (wait, why is the leader of the goblins not actually a goblin? It's like Labyrinth or something.) The drawling father, the constantly-dazed mother, the gang of horny teenage boys, the grandpa ghost...like any cult classic worth its salt, there are a host of memorable characters (the movie's most memorable line does come from one of the teenage boys, after all).
On a technical level, the film is obviously awful. The effects are generally really bad and ruin some admittedly decent ideas in the process. I even watched this in the company of a friend who works in makeup and special effects - her running commentary on this was rather informative, to say the least. The music is heavily rooted in the '80s and is cheesy as hell, but at least it's the enjoyable kind of cheese. There are also plenty of ludicrous developments and gaps in the logic that it's probably better not to question, such as how the ghost of Joshua's grandpa can start manifesting physically and handing out Molotov cocktails or how "the power of goodness" can save the day. Even simple things such as asking why the goblins would expect humans to drink expired milk (especially when a goblin-in-disguise tries to sell it to a human despite it sitting out on a bench instead of in a fridge...and succeeds) are just baffling. If anything, the baffling nature of just about every aspect of this film is what makes it a true "classic". I don't even know how to rate it. It's a 0.5 in terms of quality, but a 5 in terms of enjoyment, so I guess I can just split the difference and give it 3. Normally that kind of rating goes to movies that I merely think are alright but nothing special. Troll 2 is definitely not alright, but it is most definitely special.