URGH! I just viewed the trailer... they ruined it!! They committed some of my deadly sins for this type of movie -- sins I saw committed in House of 1000 Corpses. And you know what? I think H1000Corpses is going to be better than the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre!
Deadly Sin #1: They used a female hitchhiker. BIG MISTAKE! I am so sick of what I feel is remake politically correctness. They got some teary eyed, blonde, frail looking thing to be the new hitchhiker in TCM, and she's crying "They're all dead! They're all dead!" URGH. Like that's gonna be as exciting as the hippie-like male hitchhiker from TCM who was so insane that he cut the palm of his hand, burned a picture he took of someone, and then cut that guy's hand (and I personally met the guy who played this hitchhiker -- he's great!) This new female hitchhiker - please. There's work for her on the Lifetime channel. Why don't she go there?
Deadly Sin #2: I hate sounding so misogynist... but these female baddies in TCM-like movies DON'T WORK. If it's a mother out for revenge, like in Friday the 13th or Scream 2, it works, but these gals who have bit parts trying to be scary, tough villians in a horror film - please. When the female villian is the central character, I like that, but when she's working alongside Leatherface, she's just a NUISANCE! In the pictures below, you'll see the new nuisances -- a very UGLY woman holding a toddler. The toddler, by the way, isn't even afraid of the ugly woman who's holding him - so how is TCM supposed to be scary, again? And then there's an enormously fat woman with very small, pursed lips and a neck the size of a headboard. She looks like the nurse from hell. Mimi Bobeck from "Drew Carrey" would have been better because at least her makeup and hair is reminiscent of Leatherface anyway. They are just nuisances, I'll tell you that now. Were there any women in the original TCM? Yes -- the original Leatherface! I don't know if you saw this, but the Sawyer family WAS a family -- and Leatherface, who crossdressed, was the mom. The cook was like the father, the hitchhiker the son, Leatherface the mom - Leatherface, btw, changed genders. At first when we see him, he's a hunter and a gatherer with that big chainsaw, but at the end of the film, he puts on a woman's face, lipstick, makeup, the works, and becomes female. I don't know if the new TCM does that - it should, though, and it should do away with the corny, ugly female villians who will barely have any screentime -- and that hitchhiker. I swear it's going to be some kind of grotesque episode of "Designing Women".
Deadly Sin #3: Leatherface looks like some kind of troll.... when you finally see him closing that big door (which was a scene in the original - the big door, however, now has a peephole). He looks like a troll. His face is very meaty, it's more Freddy Krueger-ish, and the hair and everything... he just looks like a troll. I don't like it. Maybe in some scenes he'll look different, or be wearing different masks. We'll see.
Deadly Sin #4: One of the girls, probably the heroine, acts way too defensively in one scene with a hatcher. That never happened in the original. She's standing in some kind of room, looking all BADASS, and she's got her hatchet up -- HELLO??? Leatherface uses a CHAINSAW! Your hatchet isn't going to work, unless you manage to throw it at him and hit him on the head. And then, you'll be weapon-less and the rest of Leatherface's family (all his ugly sisters, I guess) will get you!
Deadly Sin #5: One of the girls, while in the van, wears a cowboy hat -- very much like the annoying girl from House of 1000 Corpses. What the hell is with the girl wearing a cowboy hat fad in TCM-style horror films? It looks like the old Madonna cowboy trend from her Music tour -- which is over. Hello? She's wearing pageboy hats now.
Deadly Sin #6: I noticed that in several shots of the trailer, Leatherface has BABY DOLLS hung up around his house. BABY DOLLS! Instead of the skeletons and chickens and everything, we have baby dolls. And they're not even headless Barbies -- they're DOLLS! From the Franklin Mint collection, I guess. Jesus... I'm so going to do a parody of this new TCM movie. Blowup dolls strung up around the house or something, with Mimi Bobeck in lingerie, and all these nerdy boys, calculators in hand, who get trapped in a Texas house with all these really ugly, horny women who do amateur porn to satisfy the desires of their mistress, Lady Leatherface.
Deadly Sin #7: Ummm... well, they remade The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 2003, and it's owned by New Line Cinema. 'Nuff said.
There you go! I want you to know though that what I DID like about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre were these three things: 1) The new house they use is really strange looking, and that looks incredible. It's different from the farmhouse type of the original, and this is actually a difference I like. What I DON'T like is what's inside the house. And those damn dolls. I swear, Chucky probably has a cameo in there. Chucky and Tiffany from Bride of Chucky -- they're gonna be strung up on the walls. 2) The cinematography. I think they used the same cinematographer from the original, which is good. 3) During the trailer, we hear sounds - like the eerie camera clicking from the opening montage of the original TCM. Very nice to hear that again -- unfortunately you probably don't hear it often, if at all, in the movie.
Pictures coming later....