Pitch Me A Bad Movie

Inspired by foster's recent nonsense thread, let's roleplay.

Pitch me a movie like I'm some big publishing company purseholder and you're convinced that your terrible new original movie idea is an untapped goldmine.

Directed By Michael Bay.....

Well I've got this one about a superhero who has a girlfriend that gets kidnapped by bad guys.

It's kind of like The Crow meets Taken meets The Big Lebowsky meets Goodfellas meets The Shining meets Citizen Kane meets Mad Max Fury Road meets Birdman meets Taxi Driver meets Seven Samurai meets You've Got Mail.

We should totally get Paul Feig to do a remake of Ghostbu--- oh, wait a minute. I'll call you back.

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I always had this idea about a zany comedy - like one of the Marx Brothers' shticks - and then at the end these killers come in (they have nothing to do with the plot whatsoever) with swords & machine guns and mow everyone down in the worst, bloodiest Sam Peckinpaw - Tarantino - Rob Zombie style. What do you think?

Sounds like American Werewolf.

Yeah, it's like American Werewolf meets Animal Crackers meets Animal House meets Duck Soup meets Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein meets Horse Feathers meets Citizen Kane meets The Party meets Wayne's World meets Halloween meets Superbad meets Straw Dogs meets Reservoir Dogs meets The Devil's Rejects!

I've got an idea for an action movie about a crime-fighting, vigilante, expert archer, bow & arrow guy.
It's called Greenhawkarroweye! (It's cool because it's like one of those Native American sounding names!)

It's kind of like Robin Hood meets The Crow meets Citizen Kane!

A teacher is having a sexual relationship with an elementary school student.. it seems like paradise until the student starts sleeping with their babysitter too! Now the teacher and baby sitter have to fight for the childs affection. I give you

Teacher vs Babysitter

It will appeal to every demographic! Who wouldn't love a film about a sexually promiscuous young child?

A movie about a guy's whole life story: his career, his rise to power and his love of sleigh riding.
It's like Citizen Kane meets Cool Runnings meets Citizen Kane!

A handicapped man with downs syndrome is constantly being judged. It turns into self loathing and he begins to hate all people with downs syndrome. He adopts a mask and costume, seeking out and murdering everyone he can find with a physical or mental handicap.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you
Criminal Downs

I have an idea for a movie about a homeless blind man who lives in New York City and who learns to cope with his desperate life when he meets a street guru who teaches him to master Buddhist meditation.

I want to call it: City Zen Cane

In a post-apocalytpic landscape sexually active rape zombies roam everywhere. The only way to quell their lust is with live music, but no one has played any instruments for two generations. One man discovers a manuscript on how to build an acoustic guitar - but can he learn to play in time?

I give you
Zombie Rape: The Musical

A sci-fi movie (loaded with special effects, of course) about the first manned mission of an indestructible rocket ship to explore the core of one of our solar system's gas-giant planets...

(you had to see this coming..) "Inside Uranus"

The year is 2096. The united states it 40 trillion in debt with a 1 trillion deficit. The election cycle and campaigning for presidency now lasts an entire 4 years. After a lengthy campaign for most of the movie the twist is revealed - our protagonist was campaigning against himself! he has a split personality and he was both people the whole time but didn't even know it!! Turns out it doesn't really matter who anyone voted for.

I give you..
Swing State

Okay that's the last from me for tonight.

A group of fat women who meetup every week to talk about their food addiction come up with the ultimate diet plan -- they turn their overeating support group into a TERRORIST ORGANIZATION hellbent on blowing up fast food restaurants and murdering chefs and bakers.

I call it... F.A.T. (Fat American Terrorists)

Adam Sandler remakes:

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Letterboxd | ReverseShot | SlantMagazine

Any movie revolving around a holocaust.

huh????


Is this one of htose, "cause it didn't happen" posts?