Swan's 2017 Movie Adventures

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Went to see the new Beauty and the Beast again. I loved it just as much emotionally, and was able to even appreciate it more as a film. CGI seems more well-integrated this time around, for example.

Moving on...

Hostel: Part III -

(Scott Spiegel, 2011)

[NEW WATCH]





I’m not sure where to begin. I almost don’t want to review this, but I will only because Sexy asked me to.

This has got to be one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Ridiculous, over-the-top, cheaply-made, and worst of all BORING. Has no understanding of what makes the first two tick, one reason being those felt grounded. Thinks throwing in some (predictable) twists and turns will make it better. Takes the original film’s concept to a stupid, over-the-top extreme that might seem good on paper (I wouldn’t know) but is awful in execution, and worse in poor execution. The torture scenes have the cinematic style of a Saw film and thus in my opinion completely fail at thrilling, or disturbing, or horrifying. And when part of the appeal is gore, having almost no gore at all in your film doesn’t really work out. That’s right, guys. There’s a Hostel film with pretty much no gore.

But as I said, this film’s worst offense was that it was boring. Through most of it I was on autopilot.

And that is the real reason why I hate this movie.



Your Name. -

(Makoto Shinkai, 2016)

[NEW WATCH]



I'm trying to get into anime and needed to escape from the day, so I went into this not knowing anything about it really. I ended up being pretty blown away. There are some weird things that were jarring, like some of the soundtrack, but ultimately I forgave those things because the storytelling here was so damn good. For the first thirty minutes, I was enjoying it without feeling that invested. But this is a movie you just have to stick with, because as the story develops, with each twist and turn, it become captivating and emotionally resonant as f*ck.



Welcome to the human race...
Yeah, Your Name definitely benefits from as little foreknowledge as possible - rhat reveal at the end of the first act straight-up floored me as a result. You're right about the soundtrack, though - the poppy J-rock is very ehhh but I let it slide since it suits the story well enough.
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I really just want you all angry and confused the whole time.
Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0



Horns -

(Alexandre Aja, 2013)

[REWATCH]



I noticed the tonal inconsistencies this time around more than the first time I saw it, but I also realized that if it wasn't for that, this would probably be a genuinely great flick. It has nearly everything else going for it.

Alien: Covenant -
+
(Ridley Scott, 2017)

[NEW WATCH]



I guess I'm one of the few that really liked this. While Prometheus might be more visually interesting and taut, this was overall a much smarter film. I love how it continues David's story in such a fascinating, unpredictable way. I think Michael Fassbender deserves an Oscar.

Zoombies -
-
(Glenn Miller, 2016)

[NEW WATCH]



These sorts of movies - ones that are so incompetently made - are only good if they have a sort of charm to them, something this one didn't have. The CGI is awful and weird, and I did like that, but it just lacked that fun factor I want from a movie this bad. In other words, I felt no enthusiasm while watching it.

Troll 2 -
+
(Claudio Fragasso, 1990)

[REWATCH]



You can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!



Horns -

(Alexandre Aja, 2013)

I noticed the tonal inconsistencies this time around more than the first time I saw it, but I also realized that if it wasn't for that, this would probably be a genuinely great flick. It has nearly everything else going for it.
Looks cool. Added to the list.

Alien: Covenant -
+
(Ridley Scott, 2017)

I guess I'm one of the few that really liked this. While Prometheus might be more visually interesting and taut, this was overall a much smarter film. I love how it continues David's story in such a fascinating, unpredictable way. I think Michael Fassbender deserves an Oscar.
I'm still super excited to see this. It's almost impossible for me to dislike something Alien-related. I liked Prometheus a lot more on a second viewing too. I'm a tad discouraged to read that this might be less visual than Prometheus though.



It is no doubt less visually appealing than Prometheus - in fact, it's kind of dark, literally. And that's a bummer. But it makes up for that with all sorts of cool stuff. Hopefully you'll like it.



I thought Alien: Covenant was decent. It was entertaining, and I loved Katherine Waterston's new look. She looks like a completely different person from any other role she's done. And her performance was the saving grace of the movie for me. However, I was still very disappointed overall because the trailer gave me the impression that Ridley Scott was going back to the style of the original Alien. The trailer made the movie look like it was going to be scary. But instead it turned out to be closer to Prometheus, and more action-thriller oriented. Also, I thought the ending was terrible. I remember thinking to myself, "No, they're not going to do that. That would be way too predictable. Please tell me they're not going to do that." And they did exactly that in the most predictable way. I left the theater quickly and felt a little bit angry, but more disappointed than anything. Still, overall I did enjoy the movie, and I loved Waterston.



Alien: Covenant -
+
(Ridley Scott, 2017)

[NEW WATCH]



I guess I'm one of the few that really liked this. While Prometheus might be more visually interesting and taut, this was overall a much smarter film. I love how it continues David's story in such a fascinating, unpredictable way. I think Michael Fassbender deserves an Oscar.
Wait what? Huh? What. What.



Alien: Covenant -
+
(Ridley Scott, 2017)

[NEW WATCH]



I guess I'm one of the few that really liked this. While Prometheus might be more visually interesting and taut, this was overall a much smarter film. I love how it continues David's story in such a fascinating, unpredictable way. I think Michael Fassbender deserves an Oscar.
I saw it yesterday it was pretty good. The ending was badass
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''Haters are my favourite. I've built an empire with the bricks they've thrown at me... Keep On Hating''
- CM Punk
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Welcome to the human race...
I get the impression that

WARNING: "Covenant" spoilers below
Walter turning out to be David isn't really meant to be that much of a surprise in the long run. If the movie had taken the time to show David stealing Walter's clothes or whatever, then that's way too much telegraphing of his betrayal and would . All it takes is the inconclusive cut-away from the end of David and Walter's confrontation to plant the seed of suspicion in the audience's minds, so it becomes a matter when (not if, when) David reveals himself. The whole finale set-piece gives him ample opportunity to double-cross the survivors while the last Xenomorph is on the loose - or even in that part where Daniels is stitching up his face - so we spend much of the last 20 minutes waiting for the other shoe to drop. The fact that Daniels realises right as she's about to be put into cryosleep is a good horror beat regardless of how "predictable" it is. Will she dream? Will she fear what she will wake up to, and that's assuming she'll wake up at all? It's a solid subversion of the endings of the first two films where Ripley gets to go into cryosleep peacefully after the aliens get flushed into space.


But sure, call it "predictable" or "stupid" or whatever.



A good horror beat? Lol, I don't think there was a single horror beat throughout the entire film, much less a good one. I'm sure for the members of the audience who were swept up in the movie, it was a tense and thrilling scene, but for me the final scene was profoundly disappointing. With some effort they could have come up with something that wasn't incredibly obvious, and it felt like they were trying to deliver some kind of shock value, except there was no shock because it was the most obvious thing they could possibly have done.

WARNING: spoilers below
If Walter had simply turned out to actually be Walter, instead of it turning out to be David masquerading as Walter, then I would have been more content with that ending. Instead, while Daniels was banging on the glass screaming I could not feel any sympathy since my connection to the movie had been crippled. I think there are a lot of things they could have done differently to improve the ending, but then there are a million things they should have done differently to make it the movie that the trailers made me hope it was going to be. But for the ending they should have at least added another layer to the deception, making the audience feel comfortable that it was Walter, and then crushing us with the sudden realisation that it wasn't Walter. Or, since it was so predictable that it was going to be David, they could have made Daniels more skeptical earlier on, before going into the pod. They also could have done away with the masquerade completely. Since it was obvious they could have shown the audience more that would do away with the pretense.



Welcome to the human race...
WARNING: "Covenant" spoilers below
When you say you'd have been fine with it turning out to be Walter - why, exactly? Is that if he was exactly the same as he always was or if he'd somehow been converted to David's side? If the former, then the movie just ends on a flat "happy" ending - if the latter, then it just raises further questions. The tip-off rests in seeing (or not seeing) who wins the fight between David and Walter. The only way to avoid that is to conclusively show Walter completely destroying David - anything less would still cause doubt and make the audience at least a little suspicious of "Walter". Also, what would revealing it earlier have accomplished? Having the survivors fight David like it's the much-maligned third act of Sunshine? At least this reveal happening at the very end spares us having to sit through some drawn-out confrontation that would have to end with David's defeat anyway, which would be boring compared to the implication that he's going to turn all the sleeping colonists into alien hosts.

I don't think this would have been better if it had tried to be what the trailers indicated, which looked like it would be a fairly hollow Alien retread only with 40 years' worth of technical upgrades - hell, we were getting that exact movie for the first 45 minutes and I wasn't too impressed with it. I figure there's no way that any new Alien movie could genuinely overtake the original in terms of being a lean mean horror machine so I appreciate that they just threw in a incredibly bizarre second act with David as a mad robot scientist. I feel like there's a lot of that section that got trimmed down so the audience could get their precious two-hour alien kill-fest. It's all the better for getting weird and dark like it does.



WARNING: spoilers below
When you say you'd have been fine with it turning out to be Walter - why, exactly?
WARNING: spoilers below
I would have preferred it to have turned out to be Walter because that would have been less predictable. It would have given the ending a very neutral tone, and that would have been more desirable than the cliche. Alternatively, they could have left it ambiguous and at least I would have left the theater wondering and thinking instead of facepalming.


WARNING: spoilers below
Also, what would revealing it earlier have accomplished?
WARNING: spoilers below
It would have removed the pretense of an obvious twist.



Welcome to the human race...
WARNING: spoilers below
I would have preferred it to have turned out to be Walter because that would have been less predictable. It would have given the ending a very neutral tone, and that would have been more desirable than the cliche. Alternatively, they could have left it ambiguous and at least I would have left the theater wondering and thinking instead of facepalming.
WARNING: spoilers below
An ending that's neutral or ambiguous doesn't automatically work on its own, much less in this movie. If they'd just gone to sleep without complication, then it'd be even more predictable given that it's already happened twice within the franchise. Is that really that much better because it doesn't involve a last-minute reveal? It also begs the question as to why the David/Walter thing should be made ambiguous - as with the fight scene, how could you pull that off in a way that wouldn't confirm it one way or the other anyway? It's not like it's going to be like Blade Runner raising the question of whether or not Deckard is human or replicant because that reflects what the rest of the movie is going for. That sort of question wouldn't work for Covenant, though. Having the film go for the straightforward downer ending makes sense regardless of how "predictable" it is, and for it to happen right as Daniels is rendered powerless to do anything about it - as opposed to her going to sleep without finding out - is a hell of a way to end it.


WARNING: spoilers below
It would have removed the pretense of an obvious twist.
[/quote]

WARNING: spoilers below
Maybe thinking of it as a twist is the problem.



WARNING: spoilers below
Iroqouis, I know you've seen some great art films. Great movies end without complications all the time. They don't need some last minute reveal. You walk out of the theater after a great movie that ended with a neutral tone and think to yourself, "Man that was a brilliant movie, I loved everything about it." You don't think it was so obvious that it was going to end on a neutral tone with no complications. Any movie can end ambiguously, with a twist, or on a neutral tone. Obviously a lot would have had to have been written differently to change the ending from a twist to a neutral tone, and I'm not complaining that the movie ended with a twist. I'm saying, that particular twist was pathetic and poorly written. It's not about whether it has a twist or not, it's about the execution.



WARNING: spoilers below
I don't think this would have been better if it had tried to be what the trailers indicated, which looked like it would be a fairly hollow Alien retread only with 40 years' worth of technical upgrades - hell, we were getting that exact movie for the first 45 minutes and I wasn't too impressed with it.
WARNING: spoilers below
So instead we got a hollow Prometheus retread with 2 years worth of technical upgrades. Mute point. The first 45 minutes were terrible, I agree. I didn't want an Alien retread or a Prometheus retread. But I wanted a horror movie instead of an action thriller, and either way, I at least wanted a well written movie that didn't just copy other movies in the franchise. It was just a mediocre movie overall.



Welcome to the human race...
WARNING: spoilers below
Iroqouis, I know you've seen some great art films. Great movies end without complications all the time. They don't need some last minute reveal. You walk out of the theater after a great movie that ended with a neutral tone and think to yourself, "Man that was a brilliant movie, I loved everything about it." You don't think it was so obvious that it was going to end on a neutral tone with no complications. Any movie can end ambiguously, with a twist, or on a neutral tone. Obviously a lot would have had to have been written differently to change the ending from a twist to a neutral tone, and I'm not complaining that the movie ended with a twist. I'm saying, that particular twist was pathetic and poorly written. It's not about whether it has a twist or not, it's about the execution.
WARNING: spoilers below
If you know that I've seen great art films, then ask yourself why I'm going to the trouble of defending this one as well. A film's ending should try to function as its concluding statement, summarising what the movie as a whole is trying to say. In this context, I really can't bring myself to care about whether or not this "twist" was obvious from a mile off. It's an amazingly bleak ending that even outdoes the infamous ending of Alien 3, but it's not just an example of vacuous cruelty. This film and Prometheus have set up David as this quasi-sympathetic protagonist/antagonist whose villainy is inspired by the humans who created him (and also the Engineers who created the humans), so seeing him get the chance to continue his work on even more humans and perpetuate a vicious cycle of creation makes sense on a thematic level. Just as the Xenomorph's life cycle is dependent on destroying other life forms, so too is David's own plan to create new life (and the Alien series as a whole has always involved humans who wanted to keep the Xenomorphs alive for their own nefarious purposes, so this involves another angle on that theme). Also, the series has always functioned as a sort of waking nightmare - cryosleep pods are a recurring image throughout the series, book-ending at least three of the films so as to further cement the idea that each film's plot plays out like a really bad dream. Having Daniels realise the truth only when it's too late to do anything drives home the nightmare logic of this film and the series as a whole, which is why it works better than just having them go to sleep without incident.


WARNING: spoilers below
So instead we got a hollow Prometheus retread with 2 years worth of technical upgrades. Mute point. The first 45 minutes were terrible, I agree. I didn't want an Alien retread or a Prometheus retread. But I wanted a horror movie instead of an action thriller, and either way, I at least wanted a well written movie that didn't just copy other movies in the franchise. It was just a mediocre movie overall.
At this point in the franchise, you're better off not having any expectations whatsoever. These movies are all the better for it, and the best parts are the ones that aren't actively going through the usual motions of an Alien narrative. Dropping a bizarre mix of Blade Runner and Frankenstein into the middle of the film was the kind of unexpected weirdness that I would prefer over a straightforward back-to-basics narrative.