Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 - How BAD is it? (Spoilers)

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If you havenít been to the movies in a while, then you may not be aware of the fact that a new comedy disaster, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 was just released. It did fairly well at the box office, grossing over 23 million on opening weekend selling just behind the extremely popular Furious 7, but does quantity equal quality? In this case, no, no it doesnít. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 has become one of the worst reviewed comedies in a long time. It was actually given a 0% out of 100 on Rotten Tomatoes. The 30 million dollar question on everyoneís mind then is, ďIs it really that bad and if so, why?Ē Luckily for you, I sat through one of the most painfully awful movies I have ever seen in search for those answers.
Before I even begin reviewing this movie, I think it is important to note that I really enjoyed the first film in this franchise and was really excited to see the direction that the producers would go in with this sequel, so I entered the theater with an open mind, ready for anything because at the end of the day this is a comedy. Itís supposed to be tongue and check and make the audience laugh, thatís the reason why a lot of comedy films get lower review scores because the critics tend to forget the fact that the main reason why the movie was made is to make the audience laugh. I kept that in mind when I went to go see this film, but among the many other issues that I have with this film, one of the main problems is that itís just not funny.

I honestly believe that there are only two types of movies that are worse than a poorly shot and produced film.

1. An unfunny comedy.
2. A horror movie that canít be taken seriously.

Itís sad to say, but thatís exactly what Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is, an unfunny comedy. Letís take a moment and look at exactly who created this film, sometimes to better understand a movie, itís doesnít hurt to know who created said movie. As it turns out, this movie was created under Adam Sandlerís production company, Happy Madison Productions. This comes as no surprise, as his company has been known to produce a really awful comedy, just so that Adam Sandler can go on vacation; Sandler has even admitted to doing this in an interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It is important to note; however that every now and then Happy Madison does something genius and original (50 first dates, reign on me). It is also important to note that Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is NOT one of their more clever productions.

With that being said, there were some pretty talented people working on this film. For example: The executive producer for Mall Cop 2, Marty P. Ewing also worked on films such as: Holes, Yes Man and the successful Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Even the cinematographer, Dean Semler worked on films such as: Bruce Almighty and Dances with Wolves. I guess the next question would be, ďWhere did this film go wrong?Ē
My answer to that is that itís a sequel. It might not have been as bad if it was a film on its own, but itís a sequel. Think about it for a second, why do we watch sequels? We watch sequels to see all of our favorite characters come back together one more time to overcome a new conflict. This sequel does none of that. For one thing the kill off the two biggest supporting characters from the original film within the first 10 minutes of the movie!
The first character that they remove is the love interest, Amy (Jayma Mays). It is revealed that she decided to divorce Blart after only 6 days of marriage because she experienced, ďextreme vomiting.Ē This is absolutely ridiculous and breaks all continuity because her character married Blart despite his weight issue. She married him because of his character. I understand that the reason why the writers put this in the script is because Jayma Mays wise fully chose not to reprise her role in Mall Cop 2, but they didnít have to destroy her character. They could have changed actresses, or made up something more believable, like sheís on a business trip.

The other character they literally kill off is the wise elder from the first movie, Paul Blartís mother (Shirley Knight). She goes out for the paper, which is for some reason in the middle of the street and then gets run over by a milk truck. It happens for no rhyme or reason and the characters barely even react to the death of their loved one. This is a shame because the sub-plot of the movie is about the daughter growing up, but afraid that her father wonít be able to handle the sudden change in her life. Itís kind of similar to the relationship between Raven Symone and her fatherís character played by Martin Lawrence in the comedy flop, College Road trip. This sub-plot could have been an excellent opportunity for some witty dialogue and an actually genuine moment between the characters, if Maya went to her grandmother for advice, but NO, they figure it would be a lot funnier to just kill the grandmother off instead!

In addition to the killing off of the supporting characters, the other issue with this movie is that the conflict is very similar to the conflict of the original film, but worse in every way possible. The idea of this film is that Blart gets an invitation to an expo for mall cops that is being held in Las Vegas. When I heard this, I figured I would just let that plot point slide and instead just use it to further support the ďAdam Sandler wants to go on vacation theory.Ē When he arrives at the hotel it is later discovered that a criminal origination just happens to be stealing art from the hotel during the weekend of the expo. Blartís daughter randomly and without much explanation ends up in the same suite as the criminal organization and they hold her hostage.

Now, as you probably guessed, itís up to Paul Blart to create some clever traps around the hotel and save the day once again. Hereís the problem with that, it just doesnít make sense. In the first film, it was explained that Paul Blart was the only person in the West Orange Mall and both the police and SWAT team are waiting on orders to go inside and help. This is why Paul Blart needs to take action. Itís not the same in the sequel, there is no reason why the security at the hotel canít see the gun fights in the hallway, or the art being stolen, or any of the other suspicious behavior that goes on during the movie. Itís never explained why the security at this hotel who have apparently never made a mistake before, canít take action to prevent this criminal organization.

There is even a scene where one of the real security guards at the hotel questions a ďbad guyĒ dressed up as security, so that proves the real security was working during the events of the film! There really wasnít enough time put into both the plot and character development of this movie. And thatís not even the worst part of the film.

The worst thing about this film is, without a doubt the jokes that fall flat. I made a tally of all the times I laughed throughout the entire film and the total number was 2 times! The first laugh took 24 minutes for me to do so and even then it was only a minor chuckle. The jokes are unbearably unnecessary and unfunny in this film. The only gags that are even worth remembering are the jokes that they just stole from the first movie! I understand the comedic effect of re-using an old gag, but that only works when the gag is really iconic, or memorable. If the joke wasnít funny the first time, why would it be funny the second time?
I will admit though, there is something about watching Kevin James on a Segway that makes me smile every time. That being said, there are a few good elements to this movie. For one thing the soundtrack does a decent job of creating a mood. There really was an intense feel as the criminals were stealing the art from the museum and that was only enhanced by the music. Another thing positive I can say about this film is the cinematography and the lighting. All the scenes are well lit and there are some great shots of the Las Vegas strip. The only other positive thing I can say about this movie is that the acting is spot on. The characters are way too underdeveloped, but the actors did a great job working with what they were given.

With all of that being said, it leaves us with one overlying question, ďJust how bad is Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2?Ē While there is no denying the terrible, awful very bad day you will have when enduring this film, I have to say that this is not the worst film out there, nor the worst movie I have ever seen. A 0% is too harsh of a rating for this film, as it is certainly not as bad as movies like The Happening or Transformers Age of Extinction. It is also not the worst comedy flick produced by Happy Madison, Iíd give that a close tie between Jack & Jill and Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star. If I had to rate this movie, Iíd give it 1 rolling Segway out of 5.

I figure, if the first one was bad enough to ignore completely, then the sequel must be a shoe in.
5-time MoFo Award winner.