Does Movie Talk Ever Distress You?

First off wanna say this applies to all movie internet talk. All forums, message boards, chat rooms, social media, etc... Sometimes there's something said, and part of me wants to abstain from commenting, but then I chime in, and you know it might not end well... But I actually like people who are so passionate about movies; just be civil.


Or if you were asked how you felt about someone's favorite director, and if you can't stand the director, it's hard for me to have to describe all I dislike while those characteristics might be the reasons that person loves that director, but I won't bullshit anyone. I think being frank is the advantage on here (and relatively anonymity) as opposed to giving your opinions to people you work with, or see every day, etc..


If someone mentions a handful of great movies, instead of saying which ones suck, I'll mention the ones I like. Speaking of movies I like, I wouldn't use the word 'stress', but if someone says they're going to watch a movie I recommended them, I really, really hope they love it.



But then there are some who have their own interpretation of a movie, even after you show them the author's intentions. And I want to make certain points, but without upsetting people. I can imagine this being more stressful for those who have been friendly here for years.

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I very much relate to this. There are a few separate issues here. IRL it nearly always distresses me a lot to hear people talk about film (but then I sidestep the issue by always, always wearing headphones). But yes, back when I worked in an office, people who really weren’t well-versed in movies would discuss them out loud and it would make me… sad? It’s less that I disagree and more the level of banality/simplicity with which people approach film. ‘Oh that ending was sad. X and Y didn’t get together.’ I had a near-fight with a business acquaintance of over a decade because she said Killers of the Flower Moon was depressing and we disagreed about whether that was the point.

In terms of going into threads that I know would upset and stress me out to rehash the same old, same old, Yoda said something ages ago that kind of inspired me not to do it, so I don’t do it as much. This is a much broader topic. My job requires news agenda fluency, so I can’t opt out of that, and when I see brutal or overly judgmental reviews of something I like, or rave reviews of something I found to be intellectually bankrupt, of course that’s a little sad. But I’m used to my viewpoint being unpopular and kind of marginalised (hence I’m not even bothering with the ‘movie things people like and you don’t’ thread).

So actually for me film has always been a really lonely experience throughout my life. I mourned all the villains and cried for them, ever since I was a kid, not because they’re ‘glamorous’ but because I somehow just relate to antagonists, always. This is actually a really stressful and darkly hilarious experience. I’ve had fights with potential mothers-in-law because I felt sorry and rooted for the wrong characters. Heck, I’m experiencing this now — watching a show realising, Oops, I like this guy, apparently everybody hates him and he’ll get bashed, I’ll get upset. It’s not the ‘glamour’ of it, it’s the choices that you as the viewer are meant to disapprove of, except I approve of them.

To your point — I’m largely a Death of the Author person. If we’re in a cultural context where everything gets endless reinterpretations (a gay Shakespeare or whatever), then it’s only fair that the consumer can let go of what was intended and enjoy one’s own reading. I don’t see why not, even if it’s something absurd such as, ‘Hey, maybe Linda and Michael did stay together at the end of The Deer Hunter’ or .

Few things irritate me more than the ‘you missed the point by liking these characters starter pack’ meme, because well, liking something is an emotional reaction to which there isn’t a point to begin with. This is how LaVeyan Satanism, which is all about freedom of the mind, emerged: yes, they worship Satan, but in the context of Lucifer being the liberator a la Paradise Lost, with Abrahamic religions symbolising oppression. I never understood the need people have to go on about why such and such reading is wrong.

Then again, sometimes you just don’t want the experience/perception tarnished with someone’s else’s perspective. That’s why I go to the movies alone unless it’s Deadpool. I’ve come to be a bit more laissez-fairs about this, but I’ve had at least three experiences of someone ruining a film I really adored for me with their take. I suppose that’s a risk you take when you discuss anything you love, right. I’ve experienced a similar thing with music but to a lesser degree. I do think there’s a certain maturity to being able to hear/accept criticism of something you love without necessarily letting it affect your own opinion. I’ve noticed a change in how I process this over the years. There comes a ‘zen’ moment where you feel, Oh well, they dissed this, so what, their loss.

On occasion someone else’s take does absolutely blow my mind (it’s rare but it happens). A person I don’t even like IRL once completely reframed the ending of Breaking Bad for me. I hadn’t felt ‘at peace’ with it and after he told me his take, I came to see it completely differently and to love that ending. I don’t actually think most people (including here) would see that take as reasonable. It’s a ‘wrong’ take, but it made my experience better and brought me joy, as it were. I try to remember this one-off positive example when I get discouraged talking to people about movies.

It only distresses me when people are being insincere, acting in bad faith, reductive (examples include "Mulholland Drive is just a TV pilot they added a few scenes to," "Run Lola Run just recycles a short film script three times," "Blade Runner is just about a cop hunting four suspects," etc.) or build straw men about people who like/dislike a movie, claiming that they do so to feel cooler, because they're being brainwashed by the critics, etc. Use of the words overrated, underrated or pretentious also annoy me because they are overused and often used incorrectly.

Otherwise, even if the person is bashing one of my favorites, if they explain themselves properly and intelligently, beyond the slight pang of disappointment based on the unrealistic expectation that everyone feels the same way that I do, I do not get distressed.

I feel sorry for the people who don’t like the movies I like. I feel like they’re missing out big time.

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I relate to this.

It can be annoying when someone has an interpretation of a movie, despite the author, director, etc., specifically saying what differently... I just send the video, but some don't want to accept it... Although most directors say they don't reveal because they don't want to be authoritarian with the audience's sensibilities and perception.

Similar: https://www.movieforums.com/communit...ad.php?t=65530

Like Stirchly, I also feel sorry for the people who don’t like the movies I like. I also feel like they’re missing out big time - especially anyone who doesn't appreciate classic films from the Golden Era.

But you know who I feel even more sorry for? People who personalize every situation where they've disagreed with someone once over some movie or show or whatever and then they become obsessed with saying bad stuff about that person all the time.

It happens a lot on the internet.

For me, I believe in Death of the Author. I seen AgrippinaX say something similar recently. I've had long debates about this and to me I don't care what the director or writer intended, as with all art my personal interpretation is what matters to me. However, I won't say that my interpretation should be everyone's truth, people need to decide their own artistic truth.

I got a feeling you're talking about a specific person and I won't go there. I do want to comment on the general idea that some people take it personally and get upset when you criticize their favorite movie. I have yet to see a MoFo who's directed, wrote or starred in a major motion picture.

Nope. Not one person. It's something that happens a lot throughout the whole internet

Ah, I see and yes it does happen all over the internet. I don't use social media, but I've read comments on YouTube and Reddit and mostly they're quicky one liners that seem to be about drawing attention to the poster. MoFo is head and shoulders above that.

The only talk that really bothers me is when people claim they need to stop making a certain film series while getting excited for another. Case in point everybody and their mother said there were too many Jurassic World movies while being quiet on the Fast and Furious movies.

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Hmmm, surely one of us has?

I fully concur — what I said about this was almost exactly the same and it’s further up at the beginning of this thread (amidst my other disjoined ramblings).