Omni's Random Video Noise

I think that was a rough one to start with.

I did that cross review with Guaporense on Nausicaa which we both really like, but prior to that I had BRUTALLY ripped into Madoka Magica which he holds in extremely high regard.


I was also pretty underwhelmed by Blade Runner when I finally saw it. I liked The Fugitive more.

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Movie Reviews | Anime Reviews
Top 100 Action Movie Countdown (2015): List | Thread
"Well, at least your intentions behind the UTTERLY DEVASTATING FAULTS IN YOUR LOGIC are good." - Captain Steel

WHY'D I WATCH IT?

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
Too much Sex, not enough Fury.

I riffed the **** out of this movie as I was watching it, it was so goofy at times.

"I wonder if 'nymphomaniac' is a name for you?"

No, but 'BEDFIRE' IS if you get that cigar any closer to her hair!

The movie's pretty brisk for the most part which keeps me interested in what's going on. The story's not difficult to follow up until the Deer, Boar, and Butterfly plotpoint comes out of nowhere like a shotgun going off in your ear.

UUUUHHHHH, an hour in and we were supposed to know this HOW?

A bunch of characters get introduced and then immediately forgotten for no reason other than a fart joke and a condom joke, but the whole mystery-solving arc of the movie (which is never a mystery) is essentially on vacation until they're referenced one last time for a gay joke.

One of my biggest complaints would easily have to be the sex scenes because they GO ON FOREVER and only two of them really serve any sort of purpose to the story.

There's one rape scene which exists for no other reason than to make the villain more villainous which is almost immediately followed by another rape scene which exists for no reason.

Eventually we get one sex scene in which our hero, Ocho, comes on to the bad guy and instantly I'm thinkin, "she's gonna kill him". Sure enough, given an absurd amount of time later, yep, she's poisoned her skin and his tit-sucklin' gets him killed. Saw that comin' last year.

You know, the second rape scene in this movie actually reminds me of a trope in porno I just find really absurd: The guy is trying to rape her, right? What in the **** is he doing rubbing his face all over her? Foreplay, dude? Really? Or are you JUST THAT REPRESSED?


To be honest, I'd have given this movie a solid [Meh...] if all it ever did was the opening naked swordfight (which was awesome), the poison sex (which took WAY too long), and inevitable final showdown (which couldn't come fast enough), but then this movie took a hard left turn into WTF BITCH!?

The English-speaking girl in the movie is ostensibly on the side of Ocho, and in a final confrontation on a train where Ocho helps to reunite her with her love interest, this girl wheels out of nowhere and pistolwhips her into unconsciousness after which he cut to Ocho chained up and being whipped into a bloody pulp.


So now I'm like, "alright, she's gotta die now", but NO! Ocho doesn't get revenge, instead Ocho's off having an Empire Strikes Back moment while the English-speaking girl just gets randomly shot and killed to harp music. Oh no, how sad that she DIED.


Ocho finally gets freed... somehow... and goes on a slaughtering spree which is still easier to watch than the Crazy 88s scene from Kill Bill and then the movie just ends like it was some epic journey that really definitely needed those sex scenes.

Shame. I'm not surprised you didn't like it mostly because I've disagreed with a lot of your reviews so far. I'm not going to boast about Sex and Fury being masterful storytelling, at least not in the conventional sense, and I fully admit it's trashy exploitation, but I love that stuff. I feel like the trashiness adds a very grimy style to the exploitation "genre". I also admit I'm a bit weird when it comes to movies, most people seem to have a different perception of what "good" is. In my opinion trash is "great," but not in the way most people think of it. I'm just an odd duck, I guess. Oh wait, I'm a swan.

I should note that from my understanding pinky violence is basically Japanese erotica with violence and style, which is why the sex scenes are so long. Glad you liked the naked swordfight scene, which was definitely the highlight for me, too.

Thanks for watching, though. I wanted to see where you stood with exploitation cinema, and now I have a better idea.

I'm lookin' at the sequel.

Thanks for the input.

I haven't seen that one yet.

Interesting...

I thought Sex and Fury was good. Not great (even by Exploitation standards) but I am still glad I bought it. If you want other suggestions for exploitation titles I have a few recommendations:

Vice Squad
Stripped to Kill
Coffy
Death Wish

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Fear and Loathing in MoFo... The Gunslinger 45's Top 50 Favorite Films

In the 10 Ring: Gunslinger45's reviews

Yeah. I've only seen Sex and Fury and Girl Boss Guerilla. If the sex scenes bugged you, stay away from the latter.

Well, at least I have Gunslinger to appreciate the gutter of cinema with. Good man, that one.

Oh my god, who is THIS GUY?


All bookmarked.

I highly recommend Vice Squad to anyone. Plus last I checked it was on YouTube. Otherwise you have to pick up the DVD. Which is rare and is about 45 bucks for a region 1 version. Then again I bought the DVD immediately after I saw it on YouTube.

You watch Ms. 45, I'll watch Vice Squad. Deal?

Wings Hauser as the psychotic pimp Ramrod. Who also sings one of the GREATEST opening theme songs IN ANY MOVIE!

Deal

Sold.

WHY'D I WATCH IT?

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
No tentacle rape but, you know? I'd kinda prefer that to what we got.

My biggest complaint about the movie is the singularly useless female character who "doctors" offscreen but never actually does anything. The whole reason she exists is to serve as the central object putting our two male leads at odds over a love triangle.

She's not profoundly offensive in this respect, but she's entirely unlikable and she feeds into the second biggest issue I have with the movie which is the that same relationship dynamic.

The two male characters are opposing authorities at odds over how to run things. The older guy knows what he's doing, but the younger guy is compromising to a fault. That whole 1 persons life or jeopardize the whole station bit from Alien. Actually, a lot of stuff in The Green Slime reminds me of Alien. Particularly the argument I see online about how fake the slime monsters look.

I really don't get this argument. Sure the Xenomorphs are far cooler and more detailed monsters, but they're still OBVIOUSLY a guy in a suit with appendages puppeteered by strings.

I'm having this argument in the Ghostbusters 3 thread too right now over how fake the CG ghosts look. They're ****ING CG GHOSTS, the effects in the original Ghostbusters were ludicrously obvious too!

I don't BELIEVE they're really there, but there's certainly something to be said of them as actual threats. The slime monsters are plainly stupid and literally just flail themselves at you until you die which any character with Plot Armor can dodge. I'm much more inclined to criticize THAT than the effects.

Besides, before poking at the monsters themselves, how about taking a second glance at that space station bouncing on a string, on fire, IN SPACE.

WHY'D I WATCH IT?

A woman getting revenge? Perish the thought.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
THIS is Sex and Fury.

Or one of several different ways you could also do Sex and Fury.

The first 3/4ths of the movie is setup for Linda Blair's character, Brenda, establishing her character as the likable punk girl. She's protective of her friends, she's not afraid to drop mean curses like ****, and she's so cool she wears sunglasses at night.

Knowing this is a revenge movie right off the bat isn't really necessary to call the plot beats note for note. All you need to see is one guy with razors for earrings burn a cigarette into his hand and leer at passing women to know he's obviously going to be the villain.

Drop a naive deaf girl in his path and WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN?

She gets raped. This enrages Brenda, but since she doesn't know the culprits the movie basically idles in mourning over her teetering medical state as we launch and abort a subplot about Brenda unintentionally stealing away some idiot's boyfriend. Nothing ever comes of it save a half-naked fight in the shower room.

Well, everyone seems to be starting to move on, everything's going good right now and in fact Brenda's friend is getting married and she's pregnant and she's walking home alone and

Eventually Brenda's clued into the villains (even though there are literally no other likely suspects in the cast) and cranks into badass mode with Chekov's Crossbow and an 80s preparing-for-revenge montage.


The ending is pretty satisfying with my only real complaint being that as soon as she gets injured once she becomes a Screaming Helpless Female until she whips out Chekov's Cigarette Lighter.

All said, the movie's pretty good. Ummm... not a fan of the use of the word, ******, which will be censored when I type this but will become transparent as to it's meaning when I clarify that it never seems to be used as a slur against homosexuals.

It never seems to be used as a slur against homosexuals.

Some food gets mentioned. I forget what.

One final speech about pigs getting castrated in a slaughterhouse puts the situation in an interesting perspective until Brenda says that they can't feel worse than her sister/friend did before they were raped/killed.

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WHY'D I WATCH IT?

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
I've seen Hard-Boiled many times before and it always kills me. There are SO MANY THINGS TO LIKE about this movie, but it just HAS to squeeze in those one or two things I ****ing hate.

Points in favor of the movie are obviously the shootouts.

It took me a while to really pinpoint what exactly it was that made these shootouts stand out so much to me, but I think it's the distinct absence of clinical intention.

With regular action movies all the stunts are hyper controlled to be safe and only involve a limited number of actors (because only X amount of characters die) and a small part of the set (because we can't replace everything). However with Hard-Boiled we gets HUGE body counts by way of civilian casualties and nearly EVERY part of any set of an action scene gets BLOWN TO PIECES.

You could probably blame the weird explosive power of the shotguns or how bullets create a completely unrealistic shower of sparks on metal surfaces, but I think pretty much everyone who watches this movie is more than willing to suspend that little bit of disbelief if it means seeing these guys absolutely ****ing TRASH every single location they find themselves in. It's no wonder the sequel video game, Stranglehold, featured destructible environments (which is a fun game, by the way).

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WHY'D I WATCH IT?

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
WELP! This is a bottom-of-the-barrel movie for me. A movie I never want to see again and sincerely wish I'd never seen to begin with.

The movie opens up with a completely detached opening credit sequence in which Ocho's character swordfights once again in the nude. No real reason this time. In the first movie she was taking a bath so there was at least a degree of excuse for it, but here it just seems like she didn't tie her clothes on properly since they all fall off within minutes and we see breasts get hang time in slow motion.

Eventually though, the movie snaps into gear and we dig into some sort of crime spree involving what are literally referred to a string of "Crotch-Gouge" serial murders. And no, it's not even remotely attempting to be funny.

Ocho runs into the bad guys right away and I'm thinkin', "great!", we'll get more badassery in this movie, but no. She just idles around, steps on a few toes, and spies on people until we discover that the bad guys are using brothel girls to traffic cocaine (or something) in their vaginas.

There's a LOT OF IMPLIED FISTING.

If I give a single credit to this movie it's that it successfully managed to keep the sex scenes from overstaying their welcome. Perhaps the creators felt they were already compensating by having over half the cast being naked at any given time, BUT AT LEAST I wasn't tapping my fingers waiting for them to end.

In fact, if there's a single memorable scene in the whole movie it's the only time Ocho gets naked with the bad guy (which also doesn't make any sense since she's not killing him this time) and they basically have a foreplay fight. He plays his her ears, belly button, and feet and she puts his head through a wall which results in a silly moment when he discovers his minions eavesdropping on the other side.

That it's though. That's like THE ONLY GOOD PART IN THIS WHOLE MOVIE!


Ocho only gets into two fights, the first one is against the brothel owner, literally named "Boss Lady", who instantly, suddenly, and unexplainably becomes an ally at the end despite their initial encounter essentially translating to:

The second fight isn't even Ocho's fight. She gets in a few swings, but the whole scene is dominated by what seems to be a desperate attempt to drive the nudity level up to 11 when all of the girls strip naked and just dogpile the men. One particular guy gets beaten and stabbed until he's a dead bloody heap and then several of the girls piss on his corpse.

It's at this point that I'm pretty sure that I'm having none of this movie.

It's boring, the plot seems to skip constantly, missing key scenes or adding in entirely new scenes we don't need, and our starring hero, Ocho, doesn't even get to be half as badass as she did in the first movie.

And to put a cherry on top of this masterclass of ass... I've never heard a movie end on such poignant words:

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