Who Says A "Real" Social Life Is Necessary?

And by this, I mean, not online, but people who are sitting or standing next to you.

When I hear hardened "rules" I tend to want to question and rebel to get to the truth by looking at everything from every side possible. I'm actually tired of hearing "We're social creatures and need to" -- says who? Social Scientists? People who only say this to rebel against COVID rules? And so what if scientists say it? I don't like a one-size fits all, and I don't like most norms. I love dissent.

I just had a phone call with a girl who I've known for almost 20 years, so she knows me well enough.. I told her how glad I was that this pandemic didn't happen when I was a teenager or in my 20s... She told me she's always been a homebody and so it wasn't a big deal for her, but asked how I was doing, and asked if I would start traveling again once COVID wasn't as big of a deal.. I told her no (for many reasons), and then a few minutes later, she said, "Maybe it's because you got the socializing and traveling out of your system?" and it's a good question. If I was waiting until my 40s to be "social", it might be tougher than it is now.... My only worries are catching the virus, and can't think of many places I wish were open. The closest thing to my house is a strip club. Not my thing. After realizing everyone who has come over has been there, I thought I'd check it out one day, and left after I saw no women were dancing -- I wasn't there to drink like a lot of others. But, if I had known in March of 2020 that it would still be like this in Feb of 2022, I might have been overwhelmed with the thought alone.

People seem to have adjusted to isolation before, but a handful of people I know (and random people online) have said and joked that "I've been socially distancing for years!"... Had this pandemic happened in the 80s, I think people not have been able to handle it, but nowadays most of our communication is NOT face-to-face. COVID to me seems like the nail in the coffin to use NBA Jam parlance.

I'm one who prefers having people over because it's just more fun, and we're not constrained by when a place closes, rules, etc., and can do things "our way" depending on who is over. If 90% of people choose NOT to be social, then even the 10% of extroverts won't have much of a choice and will find new ways, or will just do things they did more often (Movies, music, reading, etc).

I've talked more on the phone in the last couple of years because of the pandemic, and the people I used to hang out with are saying they've had a lot of time and opportunity to evaluate themselves, and that they prefer to be alone. I've actually had a couple of really long conversations in the last few days and a few things I heard were how instead of all the driving, getting ready, finding a babysitter, we can do the same exact on the phone. As well as how one isn't going to catch COVID simply by talking on the phone... I also know that a majority of people in my circle, including myself, order groceries now, and actually know a few who did it before COVID, like my sister, because shopping with two girls was too much for her, and too time consuming.

Now I'm thinking of my two nieces who are 5 and 3. The oldest is in school, and on her first day, she wore a mask, so COVID is all she remembers.. Does this make it easier for them? When my nieces become adults, they might be better adjusted, because the previous generation also spent a ton of their teen years on a phone, or some sort of screen, but probably weren't interested in that stuff in their first couple years. It's hard to covet something you never had.

It reminds me of something I constantly hear during interviews.. "We were poor, but we thought EVERYONE was poor" or this new Gary Payton interview where he says how his father was known all over the community as "Mr. Mean", who came to the school, into the classroom, and slapped Gary in the face in front of EVERYONE. Then I read all the comments, and 99% either said this happened to them (or worse) or said something positive about it.. Only 1% thought it was wrong to hit your kid in front of your peers. But it seems people were open because they weren't the outcast, and that it was "normal" parenting. I think they are taking it easier because they're not enduring that kind of abuse, and because there's a kinship with people who had a tough time, alone, but all together (the online persona).

Here's the video... The comments are fascinating.



Are there activities you are doing now that you never did pre-COVID? Are there things you're doing now more than ever as a result? Just curious -- the more you read, the better the sample size and hopefully more accurate.

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I haven't done anything different since covid started, but maybe that's just because my wife and I started doing things differently once we got our dogs 6 years ago. We stopped going to places where we couldn't bring them. We've only gone out to eat 1 time in the last 6 years, and that was for one of my dog's birthdays when we took them to a beachfront restaurant with outdoor seating that welcomed them. The pandemic didn't affect my work and I've continued to do all of the food shopping throughout. I am very social but it has become less important as I've grown older and put more focus on who's closest. It's still in me though as I seem to be the most well known person at my large apartment complex even though I've only been here since October. Younger people to me seem much more socially awkward than they were when I was that age. I do think there's a certain level of importance in knowing how to deal with people face to face and I think it's lacking quite a bit. Overall I think it's better to be social in order to develop social skills that may be needed, but ultimately people will do what they want, as they should.

I agree, but I've noticed this for over a decade... I notice that although I might be more selective as I get older, I prefer conversations in person.. Music in the background, able to laugh, read each other's expressions, and I'm generally talkative and gregarious, with the right people. Hell, even with the dark topics, I can always joke or laugh at myself and/or the latest laments many people share in the real world.



There's many times you pass someone, and so I'm the type who'll say, "Hello", smile, and go about my day, but so many people younger than me seem almost shocked as they stare at their shoes. I think many are actually afraid of eye contact, because they're not used to this. I'll add that it's much more common (and probably easier) to dehumanize people when all you see is text. To piggyback on the socially awkward, the difficulty with reading facial expressions might also be transposed online, where someone sees text and might take something the wrong way.



What I also wonder is what happens in five years. I'm guessing it might be more important to be "online social"..



Same with other things, including employment. I had the internet when I would search for jobs, but I would always dress up, shave, have a ton of resumes, and personally go into each business and approach someone. I can't remember when it was, but eventually I'd be told I had to go online, and now I'd guess a vast majority require one to apply online, but I think employers could better gauge someone, especially with so many service jobs where you must deal with customers (or in the least, co-workers) on a more personal level, but a long as someone can type up a good resume, or to reference yesterday's episode of "The Conners", where you can simply hire someone to do it for you.


One reason I have no interest to travel is because it's impossible to have cultural exchange when almost everyone is staring at their phones, which makes it difficult for the average person to approach a stranger, and after a while, I can see even the gregarious having problems because they haven't had much "practice" lately.


As an aside, for the last week I've been telling myself to spend less time on these social message boards in favor of reading or watching a movie, and THEN coming to a place like this.

This forum is the only "online social network" I participate in and I do struggle with it sometimes. I often notice that I misunderstand people or they misunderstand me, probably a bit of online social awkwardness.

Social Life? Is that the name of some new server?

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Look, I'm not judging you - after all, I'm posting here myself, but maybe, just maybe, if you spent less time here and more time watching films, maybe, and I stress, maybe your taste would be of some value. Just a thought, ya know.

Yeah, you gotta check it out! Setsuko Hara in a pink.

That sounds like me. Covid hasn't changed anything much in our life, except wearing a mask when required. I still do the same things and it didn't effect my work or my movie watching

Wait a minute Covid changed one thing, I haven't taken a vacation. I was thinking of a cruise and I'm not worried about Covid but I'm worried that the ports of call will be cancelled if someone test positive on the ship....and I ain't paying a bunch of money to sail around in circles on the ocean


Yup, communication through the internet is imprecise. In real life I joke around alot, but on this board almost never as I know I can be taken in the wrong context.

When the pandemic came, it seemed like everyone started living my life (or something close to it) - the one I've been living for about 15 to 20 years now.
The only good part is I didn't feel like such an odd ball.

This was my life just before the pandemic began...

https://www.imdb.com/video/vi646298905

I've always been a bit of a homebody, so the majority of my life is pretty much the same as it was before the pandemic, with a few exceptions.

Hubby and I used to go out to eat a couple of times a week, but we haven't gone out to eat since the pandemic started. We don't order takeout, and we don't get food delivered. We just wear our masks, and we're much more careful about social distancing while in the supermarket.

We sell online, on sites like eBay, Mercari, etc., but we also used to sell at comic cons, collectible shows, flea markets, etc., but we haven't done a show since the pandemic started. We've focused more on online sales, which has its own sets of pros and cons.

Other than that, life has been pretty much the same for us, just with masks and social distancing. MoFo is the only site that we use that could even be considered social media, and I don't expect that to change any time soon.

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We've been on one cruise (last November) and will go on another in May. The protocols for cruising currently are that you not only have to show proof of vaccination but also need to test negative within 48 hours of getting on the ship. Plus, masking everywhere indoors on the ship. Frankly, we felt safer there than in a local grocery store, where you have no clue what anyone around you has been doing or whether they're vaccinated. And in November all our ports of call were open, with some masking requirements but none for outdoors.

I was also in Las Vegas a week before the cruise (for a conference of 1,500 people), where there was masking and some social distancing. Hubby and I had been to Vegas the previous November (2020) for a week, and there were a lot of protocols in place then, including outdoor masking.

I already worked from home when the pandemic hit, and hubby works at a nuke plant making electricity for everyone nearby, so our lives really didn't change much. All I added was ordering groceries online and either doing car pickup or having them delivered. That has become a mainstay of how I do grocery shopping now. I found it was more convenient, VERY easy, didn't cost anything (the pickup, anyway--the delivery is pretty inexpensive too), and leads to less impulse buying.

If the pandemic magically disappeared tomorrow I would likely continue to do grocery delivery or pickup. Saves so much time.

But otherwise, we have gone back to a lot of social gatherings (such as family holidays here at the house, a concert or two...). We wear masks when requested/required and continue our mundane daily routines.

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it took almost two years, even without washing my hands more than normal or always wearing a mask, for me to get covid because i just avoided crowds and stayed pretty healthy, this has been a pretty rough era but over the past 5+ years, i've sort of been figuring out how to be alone just because i realized that needing approval is the quickest path to misery or slavery...and i'm not even an "anti-social" person, i just don't like to do things the way that others do them, often people will bore you and drive you to drink alcohol or fake being nice when i just want to chill and not be too active until i die.


That being said, i do think that people need some type of excitement that resembles social interaction, some feelings of wild engagement with your surroundings. Pandemic life has certainly added a level of confusion.

I definitely agree life without excitement/fun is no good.


I weigh the pros vs. cons and risks vs. rewards... But because of the situation we're in, I think some can take advantage when you can.. Self-awareness, and preparation for something like this in the future. I've always known that the only person who will take care of you is you, but I hope more have realized this. Depending on others seems to be a disaster waiting to happen. Hopefully, people who found this tough at first tried to expand, or maybe find new interests, or do the things they have always wanted to do (learning a language, for example) but never had the time.


I also see an expansion of "The Gig Economy" and more people working from home. Hopefully, there's less flu deaths/sickness. Last winter was the first time in the US when I didn't get a flu, and it's not too far from being a second time.



I just got done shoveling the driveway for the third time in the last five days, but I'm having second thoughts on possibly having company tomorrow. I'm also thinking that I've made it this far without anything major, although I think I had COVID in March of 2020. I had a bad flu for a week, and then for a few months, I had mild symptoms -- muscle aches, fatigue, chills, and it didn't go away until it hit 70 degrees.


I do hope things open up, new creations, new jobs, or anything we haven't thought of that you can do from home. It's probably good for employers and workers. I remember someone in LA saying, "I can see the sun after 3pm!" but my biggest hope is for the health of myself and others... I don't blame those who were "over it" a few weeks after COVID, especially those who are young and can't do things they want. I was lucky I did the things I wanted to do (at least things I had control over) in my 20s and early 30, especially something like music concerts, where you'll be exposed to thousands of people, shouting (spit), clapping off-beat, using a cell phone as a lighter during a guitar solo.


And maybe we'll see some studies and learn more about ourselves as humans, since I feel history will use the term "Post-COVID"... I'm not big on generation labels, but wasn't the last one the "Z" generation? There's no more letters in the alphabet, so I guess "The COVID Generation" will do.

While it's fair to ask if something is literally necessary, I think a better question is whether it usually is.

Example: I can't tell you that it's always unhealthy or the sign of mental issues to live with 46 cats and giant stacks of newspapers in most rooms, but it probably is. I also can't tell you everyone needs to go outside sometimes and/or have friends and relationships...but it's clear that those things correlate very highly with a rich and happy life for almost all people. So those things should be the baseline, and individual experience can potentially be used to make exceptions. But the more widespread a human necessity or tendency is, I think the higher the threshold for concluding you don't need it should be.

One thing about sunlight and friends and hobbies and exercise and all that kinda stuff: it's the kind of stuff you have to do to realize it's worth doing. It doesn't seem special if you're not doing it, in the same way a depressed person won't see the point in doing the things that are most likely to alleviate their depression. You kinda just have to benefit from others' experiences, do it on faith, and then realize it was worth doing more of.

Watched a video last week about sunlight - it said that a continued lack of it, in addition to hastening depression and conditions like seasonal affective disorder, it can actually cause physical brain dysfunction and cognitive impairment.

I've done quite a bit since Covid, really--more than a lot of my friends. Have managed to steer clear of getting Covid, despite some exposure to folks who had it without realizing it till a day or so later. The day after Christmas, for instance, I sat in my living room with four people who tested positive within a few days after our get-together. I live with one of them. And yet I managed to avoid getting it. I have no idea how I pulled that off since I didn't do anything special at the time.

While you're questioning if isolation is that bad, I'm questioning that I should be learning more about growing things, since I have a lot of land. I imagine an even worse virus will come in the near future, at least specialist seem to think it is provable. Covid was deadly, but was largely for people with conditions. If a deadlier virus comes along, health providers, truckers, food providers, people won't die to maintain other's living. I question if we as a specie in the first days of January in the history of this planet aren't taking for granted our survival.

About covid, I look left, I look right, I see myself dodging bullets, many people I know have caught it, I took the 3rd vaccine two days ago. I'm not afraid of getting the virus, I'm afraid of passing it to other people, I'm afraid if I caught the virus I won't get to work for 7 days in a company that really needs me, that is going through difficulties, I can't be 7 days at home, not while so many people are as well.

About isolation, it depends, I have a strong relation with natural environment, I don't seek people, I also don't avoid them like a plague, usually I'm dear to all, but people in general are not as interesting to me as they once were, and that's not other people problem, it's only mine. Some people hate people, hate society, they've given up, only because they think they couldn't be liked in return. They start an issue within themselves, they want to be liked, so they care about other's view of them, but they think people can't like them, and so they can't like themselves in return. You have to be a light to yourself, if you can't, you raise a problem.

I wonder if Vitamin D helps a lot.. I have been taking it, along with Vitamin C and Zinc during the pandemic.

i think friendship & love is weakness

u should only use others for fun while not trusting them

using others for fun is high

friendship, niceness, love, relations all that i think is weak

using others for fun & not care about them high