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Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
X2: X-Men United



Bryan Singer really stepped up his game for this one.

Everything about X2 is bigger and better. The special effects are better, the acting is better, the pacing is better and the directing is better. It just gets better and better.

Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) returns after searching for the truth about his past and is sad to come to the realisation that he has found nothing. At roughly the same time however Colonel William Striker (Brian Cox) invades Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters and kidnaps as many mutants as he can, including Xavier and Cyclops. It's up to Wolverine and the surviving to break into Striker's base and rescue the other mutants, with a little help from Magneto and co.



The cast is much better than in the previous films, especially Halle Berry and James Marsden (despite his role being noticeably shortened...again). However the best performance is clearly Alan Cumming as Nightcrawler.

The movie isn't perfect of course. Some scenes seem rushed and the special effects take charge at moments. One of the slightly annoying problems about the film is the climactic battles at the end, as the camera keeps cutting to different character at different places and causes occasional confusion.



X2: X-Men United is a wonderful film with huge improvements all round. It's a shame however that Bryan Singer could not return for the third instalment.

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Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
X-Men The Last Stand



The series really fell flat on it's face when Bryan Singer left to direct Superman Returns, and X-Men The Last Stand is solid proof of that.

After the death of Jean Gray, Scott Summers (James Marsden) is in shock and grief. However due to some apparent miracle Jean is alive and is discovered by Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) after Scott goes missing. Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) warns Wolverine however that Jean has an alter-ego named Pheonix, who is incredibly powerful and dangerous. The X-Men are then forced to take matters into their own hands when Pheonix falls into the hands of Magneto (Ian McKellen).

The primary problem with X-Men The Last Stand is simply the fact that it has no heart. The characters seem less motivated and so does the plot. Everything stumbles from left to right, showing you impressive special effects and action sequences without any real relevance to plot or sense of danger. Important characters are killed off so quickly and without any emotion, the entire film seems hollow and emotionless.



However those action sequences are pretty impressive. Ian McKellen does the best with what he has and Hugh Jackman manages to express a lot of emotion in particular scenes (a confrontation at the climax is the best example). James Marsden is yet again cut short and Halle Berry has absolutely nothing to do during the whole film except a few semi-impressive stunts.

The film introduces dozens of new characters such as Archangel (Ben Foster), who actually has something to do with the primary plot but ultimately disappears and reappears whenever the script requires them to. Vinnie Jones appears as the Juggernaught and manages to pull of a few laughs and entertain you whenever he gets the opportunity to use his mutant ability.



Overall X-Men The Last Stand isn't horrible, however it's hollow without any sign of heart. The directing is solid and the special effects are great, but that isn't enough to make a good movie. Bryan Singer did a much better job and unfortunately the director of this film (Brett Ratner) didn't return to pick up the pieces and improve in the spin-off/prequel...instead the series went from bad...to worse.

Oh, and Ellen Page is in the movie...I know.




Good whiskey make jackrabbit slap de bear.
Ready to hate?

The Last Stand is my favourite of the X-Men series.
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Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
Ready to hate?

The Last Stand is my favourite of the X-Men series.
Well...it's not the worst of the franchise.



Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Oh dear...

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is the prime example of what happens when a movie is rushed and unoriginal, and when a movie series becomes so desperate to please fans it takes any opportunity to cram in a comic book character.

Logan (Hugh Jackman) has spent most of his seemingly immortal life fighting in wars with his brother Victor (Liev Schreiber). However after being recruited by William Stryker to join a team of mutants, Logan discovers that he is becoming a monster. Logan leaves his brother and retires to a simple life with his love interest Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins). However, Victor returns and kills his beloved, causing Logan to go on a violent hunt after him, the results of course lead him to his destiny...the Wolverine.



First of all, the film is crammed with comic book characters, from Blob to Gambit. The most offensive (to fans at least) of those is the appearance and mistreatment of Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), Ryan Reynolds plays the role well, but is handled horrifically by the plot and the direction (with the exception of his brilliant introduction).

The special effects are dodgy and stick out like a sore thumb. One scene in particular, when Logan is playing with his adamantium claws looks horrible and incredibly amateur, and as for the obvious green screens...I won't even bother.



Hugh Jackman does a good job carrying the film and delivers a solid performance, even if most of his dialogue is screaming (usually at the air). Unfortunately Wolverine just isn't the same without the rest of the X-Men by his side...and this film really feels that.

Overall X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a waste of an iconic figure and jumps around the place with it's shoddy special effects and plot. Characters are trashed and potential is destroyed. I wouldn't recommend it unless you're a big X-Men fan. I had decided then and there that the series was dead...Until Matthew Vaughn came surprised me with the next film.




Nice reviews of the X-Men films.

I'd have rated X3 a lot higher than 2.5 popcorns, probably closer to
for me... I actually prefer X3 out of all of them...

... and Wolverine Origins was pretty timid really, so I agree with your rating on that one. Not a fan of Origins. Was interesting, but nothing special.



Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
X-Men First Class



Sleek, sexy and stylish. Who'd of guessed it'd be X-Men that would have one of the best prequels to date?

X-Men First Class tells the story of Charles Xavier (James McAvoy), a brilliant young man who will grow up to create the X-Men and Erik Lensherr (Michael Fassbender), a survivor of the holocaust out for revenge against the man who killed his mother, destined to become Magneto. The two of them create the greatest mutant bromance of all time...and my personal favourite of the X-Men series.

Matthew Vaughn is best known for his comedic superhero film Kick-Ass, but also directed a very stylish film known as Layer Cake. Matthew Vaughn is no stranger to cinema and takes a very unique and interesting approach to the X-Men. The entire film is jazzed up, reminiscent of 60's bond films and has a certain charm that none of the other films had.

Supporting McAvoy and Fassbender is Jennifer Lawrence as Raven/Mystique. Lawrence holds her own, however she is difficult to remember due to the equally powerful performances from Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy.



Kevin Bacon plays the antagonist Sebastian Shaw and delivers a loveable and charming little performance. Bacon first appears with a creepy beard and a flawless German accent and then returns with a nice cut and a funky American accent. The switch is annoying...but somehow relevant to the plot due to the characters backstory and mutant power.

The plot is well thought out, with Kevin Bacon's plan involving a certain Cuban Missile Crisis. The characters are excellent and well written (with a few exceptions). Kevin Bacon's master plan however has some major flaws and seems slightly forced.

The special effects range from fantastic to mediocre. It sometimes seems that a majority of the budget was saved for Michael Fassbender, as Erik Lensherr gets all of the 'awesome moments' (a submarine lift is the most memorable). A minor character known as Riptide has a cringeworthy tornado special effect which looks more like a painting, and January Jones' Emma Frost looks out of place for a while until you get used her.



Overall X-Men First Class is a fantastic prequel that is in my opinion the best of the series. It's well made, well acted, well scripted, and an overall well done. It's one of the best films to emerge out of 2011, check it out.

This rating might come as a surprise...




Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
Drive Angry



You remember that obscure little Ryan Gosling movie about driving last year that everyone seems to love? Well Drive Angry runs that sh*t over, reverses back over it, then squashes Gosling with it's awesomeness...I'm just kidding...a little.

Drive Angry stars Nicolas Cage as John Milton, a man who broke out of hell to rescue his dead daughter's baby who's about to be sacrificed by a cult. However Satan isn't going to let John slip out of hell that easily, so he sends The Accountant (played spectacularly by William Fichtner) after him. What then pursues is an out-of-this-world adrenaline ride that flies down the highway of dumb fun at 200 miles an hour.



Nicolas Cage does his thing as usual and delivers some pretty entertaining dialogue. The shining standout of the film is William Fichtner as The Accountant. For every horrible line of dialogue, for every cringe worthy action scene, William Fichtner comes in and saves the day. I kid you not, Fichtner's performance is what makes the movie worth watching.

The film is filled with errors though. The special effects are cringe worthy, most of the dialogue comes off weak and there is a Nic Cage sex/action scene that gave me nightmares for a month.

Overall Drive Angry is a lot of fun. If you're trying to pick between this and Drive...well it depends on what you want, if you want a nice slow story with strong characters and classical music and stuff pick Drive, if you want some high octave, crazy a** action with ridiculous stunts however...go with Drive Angry.




Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
Shaun Of The Dead



You've got red on you...

Shaun Of The Dead stars Simon Pegg as Shaun, as a deadbeat adult who lives with his best friend Ed (Nick Frost) and his kind-of-friend Pete (Peter Serafinowicz). Shaun has very recently broken up with his girlfriend Liz, and he is desperate to get back with her...no matter what. Unfortunately the zombie apocalypse is also happening at the same time.

What really makes Shaun Of The Dead a great film is the hundreds of different things you pick up each time you watch, this is common in an Edgar Wright movie. Edgar Wright has a very distinctive style in which he crams hundreds of sub-jokes and references into every scene, so no matter how many times you watch the movie...you notice something new.

The acting is great, an all round good job from Simon Pegg to Bill Nighy. If you're a fan of the Simon Pegg television series Spaced (also created by Edgar Wright and starring Nick Frost + a majority of the supporting cast) you'll love the references and nods to the show, especially some surprising cameos.



The only complaint I have ever had with the film is the pacing. The film builds up the zombie outbreak to a point in which you're just begging for it to happen so the plot can speed up.

Overall Shaun Of The Dead is a classic and one of the best films of the last decade. A must see for anybody...ever.




Good whiskey make jackrabbit slap de bear.
I rewatched this so much that it's a bit stale for me now. But it was in my top ten when I first joined here, and I still have love for it, so +1.



Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
The Mummy



The best thing this movie ever did was make me remember Indiana Jones.

The Mummy is a movie that popped up in 1999...and should have stayed there, instead it got two sequels and a spin-off movie series, God knows why.

So the plot is simple. Thousands of years ago in Egypt a priest fell in love with the Pharaoh's mistress, so he killed the Pharaoh and the mistress killed herself so the priest could resurrect her after he escaped from the Pharoah's bodyguards. However the priest was captured, mummified alive, cursed with superpowers or something and buried. Simple. Now, thousands of years later in the early 1900's, Brendan Fraser has to stop this mummy after it escapes from it's tomb.

The Mummy is very poorly edited, people jump around the globe, people jump in one corner and end up in a chamber or something...it's a mess. The Mummy is also a Stephen Sommers film, which pretty much speaks for itself. So overall if you haven't seen the movie, don't expect much.

The special effects are dated, yet occasionally decent. An action sequence involving CGI sand and a plane manages to be an unintentional laugh. The most impressive sequence in the whole film is probably when Fraser leaps over the damsel and slices up a few mummies...It was pretty cool.

Overall...Well...Kids will love it. You might like it. It's silly.




Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
Scream



The only thing better than a surprise, is an unexpected surprise.

Scream manages to delight from start to end, not with it's horror...but with it's humour. The frequent subtle jokes and horror references boost the film's awkward pace and help you forget the occasional horrible performance (you know who I'm talking about...right?).



The cast is fun and some of the scenes are actually scary and thrilling. The characters are well aware of their situation and the cliche' that's happening around them, which only increases the mystery of who the killer really is. My only complaint is the ending, which seems forced and odd in comparison to the rest of the film. I would recommend Scream on a Friday night.




Precious tritium is what makes this project go.


It takes a little while to get into the central plot, but Martin Scorsese's film is without a doubt one of the best crime drama's in the last decade or so. Leonardo DiCaprio is relatable and likeable in the primary role, Matt Damon is great as usual, Jack Nicholson is doing the usual Nicholson thing and even Mark Wahlberg delivers some nice moments. The plot is unpredictable and keeps you guessing until the end. Very entertaining and compelling, I recommend it to anyone interested in this sort of genre. I don't want to spoil anything about the plot, because that's the best part.




Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
Iron Man



I can honestly say I would never have even thought of choosing Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. Not that he's a bad actor, it's just the thought would never had crossed my mind...ever. I can say though, Robert was and still is perfect for the role.

Iron Man was the first movie in 'Phase One' of Marvel's big Avengers scheme. Not only did it make more money than an aggresive ex-wife with a powerful lawyer, but it managed to be a ridiculously entertaining film.



If another actor with slightly less charisma than Downey Jr. had been in the role, the movie would be ruined. Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark is just the right amount of douche bag, so you don't hate him, you just love each sarcastic remark that leaves his mouth. Supporting Jr. is Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts, whom also delivers plenty of charisma and spunk, and Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stone, a humorous but overall underused character.

Iron Man might not be the greatest movie ever made, but it is witty fun. Whenever Jr.'s on the screen you simply cannot get enough of him...hell I'll say it, Tony Stark for President.




Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
Resident Evil: Retribution



If you like stuff that makes sense...you'll hate this movie.

If you like dumb fun with a cool soundtrack and clever fight sequences...you'll love this movie.

If you've seen Dawn Of The Dead, Day Of The Dead, Underworld and Aliens...you've seen most of this movie.

Resident Evil: Retribution is the fifth instalment in a franchise that just won't die, even if you want it too. Despite my mostly negative views on the franchise i've come to somewhat enjoy the dumb and loud series, and even begin to find Alice attractive.

Resident Evil: Retribution begins with a backwards slow-motion opening credits sequence (which was at first hilarious...then kinda cool) and dream sequence (the biggest Dawn Of The Dead rip-off iv'e ever seen). Alice then wakes up to find that she is trapped in an Umbrella Corp. virtual testing facility and must escape via the help of her former nemesis Albert Wekser (Shawn Roberts, who you begin to miss once he goes off-screen). Alice must confront clones of her dead friends and an evil Jill Valentine (returning to the tole is Selena Guilroy, who is officially the worst actress I have ever seen) whilst protecting the survivors of the simulations, her mute daughter and a kinder hearted Michelle Rodriguez.



We get the usual slow-mo nonsense and explosions galore. New character Ada Wong gets trapped in a sticky situation and rips-off Underworld, Alice must rescue her daughter from a licker and rips-off Aliens, and a majority of the film rips-off Day Of The Dead.

The performances are bland, with the evil Jill Valentine managing to be one of the worst performances of the year. The soundtrack is upbeat and more exciting than previous films, also more orchestral and less punky. The action is crazy and incredible inventive at points, whilst the writing is dim-witted and meant for 13-year-old boys.



Overall Resident Evil: Retribution is a bad movie, it will never be a good movie, neither does it have the potential. It is however a hell of a good time and is so dumb it isn't insulting, it's just funny. Have some Pepsi and a big box of popcorn and grab as many friends as you can, it's funnier than Hotel Transylvania, that's for sure.




Precious tritium is what makes this project go.
Clash Of The Titans (2010)



You know when you need to take a crap but you just can't push it out, and you're sitting there for hours just waiting for the bloody thing to come out, this movie is exactly like that, but in 3D.

Basically...It sucks, a lot.



PV, your review above may be the funniest review I've ever read in my life!

But, I did like the film, chiefly because Gemma Arterton was in it. *sigh*
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You know when you need to take a crap but you just can't push it out, and you're sitting there for hours just waiting for the bloody thing to come out
If you're having difficulty passing bowel movements and your stools are bloody, you should see a doctor.
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