The Zombie Armageddon Thread

This is where you discuss impending zombie holocaust theories, plans for survival, people and items you know you'd want to have with you, and so on. Where would you go? What would you do? To what lengths would you go to find loved ones?

Some friends and I were discussing this topic over the weekend, and the question came up:

If you could only use items you would find in your garage/shed to fend off the zombie hordes, what would you choose and why?

Dead people are never gonna reanimate, so I don't think a zombie holocaust is in my future.

If dead people could come back to life, why would they just stroll through town looking for brains to eat? Why would you suddenly want brains, anyway? What is the point of eating brains if your digestive system is all messed up, rotted, possibly missing?

Do zombies poop?

These are the things I'd be thinking about instead of my survival because it would mean life had become illogical and I might as well just commit suicide and get on with my brain eating.

What happens to zombies, anyway, when there are no more brains to eat?

That's just the kind of attitude that'll get you devoured. You can be dubious if you'd like. I'd rather be armed.

For the same reason that young children will sometimes eat dirt because they're missing a certain nutrient in their diet. Zombies, being notoriously bird-brained (or no-brained), crave our brains so that they can gain our knowledge.

I've always assumed that, being re-animated, the zombie contains organs that are both working properly and deteriorating at the same time. So to answer the question in question, I think "yes," as long as his/her entrails are still sufficiently whole and functioning.

Whatever, man. I'm a survivor. I'm not going to lay down just so I can get up again.

They would eat cheeseburgers.

Then I know what I'd do to survive - I'd dress up as Britney Spears. They'd look at me and just move on.

I take it you're not a slut.

Hmmm.... only in the garage or shed huh... I don't have a shed but I do have a garage... so let me think what's in there...



Shovel
Hoe
Propane torch
5 five gallon gas cans full of gas
Grass Scythe
Heavy gauge chain
Lawnmower
Hammer
Nails
Scrap wood
and... um... hmmm... there might just be a some bullets... and a shot gun in there... sshhh...

__________________

I want to say I'd choose the chainsaw but in reality it would just make everything difficult. It's heavy, requires fuel, and is unwieldy. I'd probably take a shovel because of it's multiple uses.

If I had unlimited choice in weapons I would take:

A Trench Spike (Close melee combat)



A Shaolin Spade (Ranged Melee Combat)



M1 Carbine (Ranged Combat)



I come prepared

__________________
"Travis Bickle: Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man."

I don't know. In the area of human flesh, zombies tend not to discriminate... and she's got some meat on her these days.



Good God! Are you preparing? Do you know something about swine flu that we don't?

Not to mention, a chainsaw is likely to buckle against sinew and bone, and you can bet little bits of zombie will get stuck in the chain and jam it up.

A shovel isn't bad, but I think a spade is your best bet. The only thing about these kinds of tools is, sooner or later, that head is gonna loosen and break off.

Being from the UK guns are pretty much out of the question unless you're A. part of an armed response police unit; B. one of those lucky soldiers currently posted in Aldershot; or C. a bit gangsta'

As I don't fit into any of the above categories, and being a keen dabbler in all things food related, it'd have to be a trusty meat cleaver as modeled by Uncle Les below.



For single stroke decapitations this short ranged melee weapon could later be upgraded to a sword (preferably a Katana for reasons of coolness).

My plan of action would be to head out of Manchester to the countryside (less walking puss bags, more cider yaaay!) I would do this via a stol- errr borrowed canal barge; as modeled by man in hat below. Oh and my barge would have a better name like 'The Decapitator' or 'Kill-Death-Gore-Splat'.



My ultimate destination would be the Isle of Anglsea where I'd assist the locals in culling all walking rotters.



Afterwards I'd settle down on a farm and grow turnips until the whole thing blew over

__________________
100 Favourites From The Future: REWIRED

I'd use pretty much anything in my garage. There are multiple chain saws, a scythe, tillers, hoes, numerous sharp hand held tools, shovels, mowers, filled gas cans . . . Many tools for both landscaping, and wood working. It's a two car garage, and it's built into the hill, with steel rod concrete poured 12 inch block walls. One would think that it's the best place to be in case of a tornado, but if you've seen that one scene in the movie Twister, where they run into that barn filled with tools . . . It's not!

__________________

Good call, although Brits do still have the capability to be "daft," which is probably extremely helpful in a zombie outbreak. Here in the states, the closest we come is our endless desire to "be a hero," which more often than not gets us killed.

And I'm publicly nominating your post for "MoFo Post of the Year."

Awesome thread idea

First downfall is we only have a small shed and the only thing in there is lots of bike frames, tyres and bits that have fallen off the bikes. It is where my little brother in law used to "Store" the pieces off all of his bikes etc.

So I would use all the tyres and use them to hook over the zombies head's like you would do at the fair to win prizes, but the tyres would fall down to their feet so they would trip and stumble giving me enough time to leave the house.

I would then use my mobility scooter to do my escape down the road. As it only has a max speed of 5mph I would still need to use the remaining tyres to hook over the zombies head. I would also have the many broken chains to whip them across the head if they got to close, (Im assuming these zombies have been dead for a while hence the bike chain breaking the scull easily) The downfall to using my scooter is I only have a max distance of 25miles so I cant really get that far, so as I live in the valleys there are mountains all around. I would make my way up the mountain I know the best and head for the woods.

Before I left the house after the terrifying news about the dead coming back to life I packed my personal dvd player, my top 5 fav dvds, my iPod with my music and audio books on and my sling shot. So I would make a hidden den in the woods afew miles away from the valley and with a look out up the trees. As from Predator I would make traps all around my hideout to make sure no dead S.O.B's come through while im sleeping.

If I had a unlimited choice of weapon's...

1 Sniper Rifle



2 Two Sword's



3 Battle Axe



4 Unlimited Grenades



5 Sabre Tooth Tiger

__________________

~In the event of a Zombie Uprising, remember to sever the head or destroy the brain!~

I commend all of your planning choices, with the exception of the above. As vicious as sabre-toothed tigers are, they're not unsusceptible to zombification, and the last thing you want is a zombified prehistoric tiger after your brains.

Give me some tweezers, a calender, a backpack, some water, a chair, and a lava lamp.

I'll get MacGyver on their a$$.

I forgot to mention my method of escape:

First, I'd take a backpackers pack and load it with lasting food, water, and a transportable water purifier, along with basic camping equipment (flint, blanket, sleeping bag, etc. Then, I'd sling my shaolin spade and M1 Carbine over my back, and stick my trench spike in a holster on my belt. I'd also have a fishing pole (you'll see why later) I'd get on my dirt bike (along with an extra pack of fuel) and start off.

Take your time, imagine this image. Is there anything more badass?

Then, I'd travel as fast as I could towards the New Jersey shoreline, hopefully recieving little zombie resistance along the way. Once I got there, I'd hop onto my conveniently located large sail boat (complete with large amount of supplies). I'd take my boat out into the sea and sail along the atlantic coast and then into the Gulf of Mexico. From there, I'd travel to the nearest offshore oil platform, climb on, and use the sea as my source of food. Off shore oil platforms have plenty of water and the essentials, so I'd be able to live there comfortably for a long time. If I ever needed to abandon the oil platform for some reason or another I could easily jump back into my sailboat and find a nearby island or just live out of my sailboat, using my fishing rod to catch my food.

Easy as that

Ahh yes I can see a small flaw in my plan

__________________
I used to be addicted to crystal meth, now I'm just addicted to Breaking Bad.

First off, I feel I must emphasize the importance of this thread because you may truly need a plan.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15643...ly-happen.html

It happens, but they're lightweights, as evidenced by the picture below. (Oh, and contrary to popular belief, Jack Daniels and Antarctica don't really go together.)

London calling to the zombies of death
Quit holding out and draw another breath

__________________
"Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."