"The Greatest Love of All" (Melody is terrific, though!)

The lyrics, at least, must be the silliest ones ever written for a major hit. It starts out with the most insipid opening line I’ve ever heard: “I believe that children are our future,” as if this were some profound philosophical statement. Who does the songwriter think the rest of believe are our future, old people in nursing homes? Followed closely by: “let them [children] lead the way.” I always thought that adults were supposed to lead, though with today’s parents she might have a point. Then the second half of the song doesn’t appear to have anything to do with the first half as it shifts from an ode to pedophilia into extolling the virtues of narcissism. The fact that this song was such a major hit is a testament to whomever first said: “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” Inspirational? Yeah, right up there with ipecac.