What is Codependance?

I have heard this term in relation to someone having a drug or alcohol problem. But I'm not sure exactly what it means, and it confuses me because we are all codependant aren't we?

From what I understand, a codependant is a person inside an abusive relationship who remains there trying to "fix" the problem themselves, or "enable" the person with the problem to continue it.

To me, codependance is a negative term. But we are all codependant on something or other aren't we?

Take religion for example. Any sect will tell you that having faith in something, such as a deity, and praying to it, will help to "fix" your troubles. Or a friend asking for advice about something is just "enabling" you to help him/her with a problem that they might be having.

If we are all codependant with each other, how can that be bad?

edit= changed "that" to "who" in paragraph 2.

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r66-The member who always asks WHY?

Codependance is my having to visit here at least once a day.

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There is a difference between the normal English usage of the word "dependent," which is the term you want, I think, and the psychological term "co-dependent."

People can be dependent upon things without being co-dependent. The prefix "co" gives the clue.

You can't really use them interchangeably.

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I think I was using the term correctly, as I was saying that I am a co-dependent, and have thusly felt the need to visit here everyday to get my daily dose of friendship and interaction from MoFo's.

I don’t know Hero… codependent behavior is normally defined as self-destructive… hopefully visiting here is not because I seem to have the same addiction you do …

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I was answering the original question from r3port3r66. Sorry for the confusion.

No need to apologize Austruck and I totally agree with you... the terms can be a bit confusing and I thought you explained it very well…

Yes, thank you Austruck, I do see my error. I do in fact mean co-dependent. Sorry for the confusion Hero.

And I, like you guys, need my daily visit to this site.

r66, I’m not sure what you’re asking but by definition someone who is codependent is self-destructive. They normally feel responsible for other peoples problems and think that they have to solve their problems… when they can’t, then they feel guilty or angry at themselves instead of the person who has the problem. Codependent people have a very hard time saying no and generally put someone else before themselves which would not be so bad except that codependent people habitually choose people who have problems and only take from relationships never giving anything in return… and that is bad for everyone involved.