One Movie A Day Review Thread

DAY 29: September 29th, 2008.


Hitman



I really enjoy the HITMAN video games and when I heard it was becoming a film, I knew it wouldn't be a successful transition. Well, here it is and my thoughts have come true. Although, it is not AS BAD as I thought it was going to be.

We have our lead, who may seem miscast at first, he isn't as old or as tough as the character AGENT 47 is suppose to be. Here is a badass stealth assassin and we get some boy who thought blaming horror films was a good reason to start killing people. After watching the rest of the film you see that he is not the big problem, and you let it slide.

The script...my god, the script. If it isn't confusing people at first, it's totally damaging it's source material. Correct me if I'm wrong but since when do these guys carry swords? That entire sequence was out of place in the film and was neither thrilling or added anything to the story. It's one of those, "Oh, there hasn't been any fighting lately, let's throw some scene in here to keep the audience's attention".

While killing people and stealing their clothes to blend in works in a video game, it does not work very well for film. Anybody with a brain can see that this guy with no hair and a bar tattoo on the back of his neck does not belong with the Russian authorities.

While it does have some nice visuals, the script is too weak and confusing that we are never really drawn in to it. For video game adaptations, it's one of the better ones. Which is said because the film is so weak as a whole.

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Suspect's Reviews

DAY 30: September 30th, 2008.


National Treaure 2: Book Of Secrets



I enjoy National Treasure, it is what The DaVinci Code film needed to be. Not to be taken seriously, I was able to enjoy the laughs, thrills, and action that Bay and co had in store. Of course there is a sequel and of course it is not as good as the original.

Here we have Ed Harris as the bad guy, no where near as good as Sean Bean. Not once did I ever think this guy had the upper hand and his motivations were weak in my opinion as well. He was simply not dangerous enough to make me care about what he 'had in store' for the characters. Another new addition is Helen Mirren, who plays Cage's mother. She enters the film just so that Jon Voight has something to do.

The rest of the cast returns, this time Ben Gates and Abigale Chase are not with each other. Oh, did we see this coming? Of course, it's been done before and we know they will get back together. Ahhh, mental flashback to Ghostbusters 2.

So, this is exactly like the first film, find clue here, go to clue there, continue for an hour with obstacles in the way, near end find treasure, one final obstacle and then rejoice. So you can basically map out this entire film in 5 seconds.

It comes off as if they didn't care this time around. Sure, they are having fun and the film entertains a bit, but there is no heart. I enjoyed it, even if more then half of the stuff they want you to believe is complete and utter B.S.

Oh, and of course, they have to set up the third installment, so keep an eye out for the next one.

October is here, so this entire month will be dedicated to HORROR FILMS.

I couldn't even finish this

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I couldn't even start it.

DAY 31: October 1st, 2008.

The Descent




I really enjoyed this film. This is my second viewing of it and it still holds up in it's fear and terror.

The Descent tells the story of 6 young females who go on a cave expedition. The only problem is, this isn't the cave they thought they were going into and there is something waiting for them in the dark.

Don't be confused with the lesser film The Cave, which has the same idea, yet fails horribly to even come close to the level of this film. Also, do not confuse this with the low budget Luke Perry film (shot in my hometown) with the same name. This film is a modern day classic in my opinion.

Marshall has taken an old and tired genre and breathed new life into it. The claustrophobic atmosphere is perfect and the use of colours heightens the tension.

I wish I got to see this in the theatre, but it was here then gone before I could blink. I'm happy it found it's audience on DVD because this film deserves the credit.

This is my second favourite Neil Marshall film, right behind the hilariously awesome Dog Soldiers. I recommend this to anyone looking for a good horror film that is quite terrifying. Marshall knows horror, none of this horror-porn, or teen slasher or Asian import crap. This is the real deal.

The Changeling . . .

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DAY 32: October 2nd, 2008.

Halloween: H20



This isn't the worst Halloween film...but it WAS suppose to be the last. Unfortunately there was more. This is Halloween:H20. No, Michael Myers is not killing people with water, it's just 20 years later.

The film starts off with the killing of the kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun...the highlight maybe?

The entire film is Michael Myers trying to get to the campus which Jamie Lee Curtis teaches at. Jamie Lee Curtis, Laurie Strode...or her fake name Keri Tate basically fears Michael coming after her. That's the film, until the last bit when the actual killings begin and we finally get into the film. Is it too late for us to care?

With the success of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer, it seems the creators of H20 wanted to mix the classic horror slasher with the teen slasher. No, the original Halloween was not a teen slasher film to me. But H20 definitely is. It's teen victims are Josh Hartnett, in his first starring role no less, and Michelle Williams, among others. Josh Hartnett is the son of Jamie Lee Curtis and she is over protective because of her past.

LL Cool J makes an appearance, which I guess is the reason they cast Busta Ryhmes in the next one?

It seems that I am hating on this film, when in reality it's not as bad as I make it out to be. Within the franchise, it's one of the better ones. The ending was closure, yet is ruined by the next installment.

Myers is still badass though. So I give it props for that.

DAY 33: October 3rd, 2008.

Sleepless



I rented this film years ago, so long ago that I was like 12 or 13. I only rented it because I was really into horror films and the VHS or DVD cover was really cool. Not the one shown here, but IMDB it and you'll see. What I didn't know was that it was in Italian. I liked it back then, but thought maybe I would enjoy it more now that I am older.

Nothing has really changed, it's still a decent film, nothing to jump up and down for though. Max Von Sydow plays a detective on the trail of a killer who has sprung back after a long, long absence.

The direction isn't Argento's best, then again I've only seen a select few of his films. Suspiria I thought was excellent in direction, but didn't live up to it's masterpiece horror hype.

What makes Sleepless stand out to me is the death scenes, specifically the death by flute scene, that I thought was awesome and gross when I was a kid and still think is awesome and gross now.

The script itself is a bit weak, but forgivable. I would recommend watching Argento's other work before giving this one a try, but give this one a try nonetheless.

Added to list.

I hated this one

DAY 34: October 4th, 2008.

Hostel



This is the second time I've watched this film and the only reason I threw it in again was too see if I missed something that other self proclaimed horror fans seemed to get. Well, I'm still left out in the dark because I don't see how this s redefining horror or how Eli Roth is getting all this praise.

The guy simply makes mediocre movies, yet people are praising his work in the horror genre, saying that he is saving it from destruction. Is this true? If all we have to go by are his rip-off horror entries then I'm sadly going to have to say no.

Hostel is exactly what the critics have called it, "Torture-Porn". That titled gets slapped around too much I think, I don't find Wolf Creek or many of the SAW films to be "torture porn", but Hostel can sure have the title. There is torture, yes, is there porn? Well, there is more nudity in this film then most soft core porn films themselves. I've been to Europe and I must have missed all the naked sex parties that these young gents seem to have found.

The film works as an exercise, but not a narrative film. It comes off as a piece that Roth made to simply see if he could make something 'gory' and have fans talk about it. Well, job well done? I guess? I don't know, maybe I've seen one too many so called "gore" films, but Hostel isn't anything I would cringe at. Nor should it be anything I want to see again, cause It's simply not that great a film.

The writing is poor, once the main character told his story of that kid drowning, I knew that he would 'go back' to save someone. It's lazy to throw that obvious thing in just for an excuse for him to go back and do what? Save a girl that dies later on? What did him going back accomplish? Nothing really. What does this film accomplish...nothing really.

1 1/2 out of 5, is really too high, don't you think!?!

No!

DAY 35: October 5th, 2008.

Cabin Fever



Here is our buddy Eli Roth again. I figured I'd give more then one of his films a chance (second chance actually). Cabin Fever stars Boy Meets World favourite Shaun Hunter, or by his real name Rider Strong, which is also a good porn name. Also, Jordan Ladd plays his girlfriend. Along with their friends they go up to a Cabin to celebrate graduating. Things go bad when one gets a flesh eating disease and the friends turn on each other for survival.

Sound familiar? Well, it's basically a remake of Evil Dead, with changes here and there. Instead of the undead, it's simply a flesh eating disease. There you go, same movie. The big difference is Evil Dead is pure genius, where Cabin Fever is a poor imitator.

Why doesn't Cabin Fever play out like a decent homage to older scary horror films, because it's tries to be better then what it actually is. Cabin Fever is a B horror film that thinks it's actually scary. I'm sorry, but it isn't. One main problem is the atmosphere. What made Evil Dead scary was that the cabin was in the middle of nowhere. They were stuck and had no place to go. Here, there is a town not ten minutes away. Get in car, go to town, or better yet go home, movie over. I just couldn't get into it knowing that salvation was minutes away. The suspense is all gone.

If it's not ripping off Evil Dead (Roth can call it homage all he wants, but it was a rip-off) then it's Night Of The Living Dead. Straight up, one character dies exactly the same way as another in the original Night of the Living Dead. When a film has a homage, there is a wink and a nod, Cabin Fever never winks or nods, he straight up steals. Not to mention half the audience watching this probably doesn't even know what films it is 'homaging'.

Now I know Roth loves horror films and I know his intentions might have been good, but it just doesn't come across in the same manner, to me at least. the guy isn't a bad director, he just needs better, more original material.

I enjoyed the make-up though. That was probably the most scary thing.

Also...pancakes?

DAY 36: October 6th, 2008.

Dawn of The Dead (2004)



Not a lot of people like remakes, hell you can even throw me into that mix, but this is an exception.

I really enjoyed Snyder's Dawn of the Dead and if he is successful with Watchmen (crosses fingers) then he is quickly becoming a director to watch. A lot of people might not like this film because the original is so good (probably better) but this remake is made for this generations audience. Taking a page from 2002's 28 Days Later and having the zombies move faster I think was the right decision for this film.

No disrespect to Romero and the original zombie films, but I cannot see the dangers of slow moving zombies. Walk/run around them, but when you have some the run just as fast, if not faster then you, well now you have me on the edge of my seat. This is why a lot of slasher films don't work...the killer is always walking.

This isn't a remake just to cash some dough from teenagers (When A Stranger Calls, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, any American version of Asian horror) this is a true intended remake of a horror film for today's audience. Snyder and company took time to make sure they did the original justice. I say Job Well Done.

Sure, there are problems with the film, a lot of characters that are stupid and I didn't care for, some sub-plots I could have done without. Zombie baby anyone? But overall this is a film that other remakes should look to.

The first 20 minutes or so are the best.

DAY 37: October 7th, 2008.

The Thing



I love this movie and I made my girlfriend watch it with me. She wasn't happy (anybody see a connection horror + my g/f = bad). The story is about an alien who can perfectly imitate it's host invades an arctic ice station. Not knowing who to trust, the men must try to survive the arctic conditions and stop this alien.

Re-watching The Thing I still love it today as I did when I first watched it. Most movies tend to not hold up after repeated viewings. The Thing, I'm happy to say, isn't one of those movies. I still get chills watching some scenes and I still think it was ahead of it's time.

Kurt Russell and John Carpenter are a great team and I wish they were making films together today. This is one of my favourite collaborations they've done. The Thing is horror/comedy/sci-fi and one kick ass movie.

Amazing puppet and animatronic work here, suspense, chills and thrills. I'm glad it ended the way it did, if it were happy, or depressing it wouldn't have the same impact. The ambiguous nature of the entire film ran throughout. Who was really who, what was really what.

Watch it

Suspect, the Dawn of the Dead remake is a cash-in and not a "true intended remake" as you put it. This isn't to say that I completely diss the film, but to say it is an intended remake is ridiculous.

Romero's Dawn (and by extension, virtually every one of his zombie films) were always intended to be well-constructed satire on issues that were (and in some cases, still are) relevant to human society today. His films aren't about zombies, so to speak. They are about the people, the codes they live by, the karma inherent in their actions, and so forth. In every Romero film, the focus shifts off the zombies and onto the depth of the tensions that bubble between the humans who are trying desperately to survive together. Snyder's Dawn features a considerable lack of tension, with the possible exception coming through Mekhi Phifer's character, and even then that's a minor problem for virtually the entire film and only results in a couple of deaths and then, for no particularly good reason, inspires every other survivor in the film to work together and try and leave the comfort of the mall and risk their lives on a rather foolhardy escape. This totally misses the point of the original Dawn...



Also, I don't find slow zombies too scary. I also don't find running zombies particularly scary, either. The only thing scary about plenty of zombie films is the other survivors (not just in Romero's films, but in the 28 Days... movies and possibly Braindead as well).

In short, I don't think the remake does justice to the original very well. It's got the same things but for some reason they just don't work as well. I don't find it particularly scary, it does seem rather stupid and the only thing that may save it is some of the gore (and when it comes to zombie gore, there are way better films than this), but otherwise, I reckon Dawn is rather weak, and closer to a .

But hell, your thread, dude.

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I see your point and I get your point but I still do not think the remake as a cash grab. Sure it doesn't have the same social commentary as the original, but once you saw that the zombies did not walk to their victims, but instead ran, you knew that this film was taking a different route.

I say it's not a cash grab because there actually was care put into making this film (look at the recent DAY OF THE DEAD remake, complete and utter crap). If you look at other remakes, Dawn could have been worse.

Yeah, they leave the comfort of the mall for a foolish reason, but I still believe that it does the original some justice. Whereas the remake of DAY does no justice what-so-ever.

Are the characters anywhere near the original ones? Hell no, did I have a fun time with this film, hell yes.

Yeah, I don't know, I kinda went a bit overboard there. I guess I should be glad they didn't do a completely unnecessary shot-for-shot remake a la Psycho.

I did have the thought that the only real reason they named it Dawn of the Dead was so they could set it in a shopping mall and not have everyone complain about it ripping off the original.

That said, I will pay the brilliance of the final few minutes of the film. That was a gem, all right.

Now you're talkin'! I love this film. It's a favorite of mine, and has been for years.
Watch some more like this!