My 100 Worst Movie Performances

When you put people like Matthew McConaughey for Wolf of Wall Street and Mark Wahlberg for Ted on this list, I have to wonder if you're picking people for performances or just how much you like them in general. In the former, I can understand if you dislike the actor, or his character on screen, but I don't see what went wrong with the performance, the same goes for Wahlberg who I think was fine for the not very serious role he was put in.

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4.

Jennifer Lopez as Marisa Ventura

Maid in Manhattan (2002)



Like Katherine Heigl, there is a treasure trove of bad acting to pick from here, and I finally decided on this one...Lopez phones it in as a hotel chambermaid who finds herself involved with a billionaire.

3.

Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)



One of cinema's historically embarrassing peformances...out of respect for the man who is no longer with us, I will say nothing else but I believe this performance belongs at this point on this list.

2.

Tippi Hedren as Melanie Daniels

The Birds (1963)



This is my favorite Alfred Hitchcock film but that doesn't change the fact that Hedren's performance is dreadful and it's pretty clear that Hitchcock's lust for the woman is the only reason she got this part.

Well, I'm going to skip over the honorable mentions because I am already weary of defending the actual choices on this list. I'm sorry this list raised so much hostility it was not my intention and I'm almost sorry I did it now.

And now, my # 1 Worst Movie Performance:

1.

Patty Duke as Neeley O'Hara

Valley of the Dolls (1967)



This choice can't be much of a surprise...I loved Patty and watched The Patty Duke Show faithfully...I even liked Billie, but there is no arguing that this performance is beyond atrocious and almost unintentionally funny...almost.


Hope someone enjoyed the list.

You have multiple Mark Whalberg performances, and neither of them is The Happening? That's easily his worst.

so why it is in your top 10?? I don't get it

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What? Nothing from "A Summer Place"? I was holding out hope that at least one person would be mentioned. I just think everyone in that movie is bad.

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Oh Neely! I agree with CR, that movie is so bad it's fun! I've read most of the Jacqueline Susann novels and loved Valley of the Dolls. Even read the crappy sequel, Shadow of the Dolls, that someone else completed after Susann's death.

Thanks to you, I found out The Love Machine and Once is Not Enough were made into movies too. Here's hoping they are just as trashy and fun as Valley of the Dolls.

Entertaining list Gideon!

Some highlights from Ms. O'Hara:


Bright Eyes has a song about the character:

I've never seen A Summer Place and couldn't find anywhere I could watch it online for free...I was hoping to be able to squeeze Troy Donahue onto my list for that one, but can't judge performances I haven't seen.

That is too bad. If nothing else, it is just entertaining for the sheer fact that it is so gosh darn "controversial". I just can't take it seriously. Maybe you'd love it! Who knows? Maybe I am just unusually cruel to this movie.

But, until you can get a chance to watch it, here's a little treat for you:

I actually really like Summer Place, for it's time it was cutting edge. I can just image a 1950s mom telling her daughter, 'oh you want to see the new Sandra Dee movie?...I guess that would be OK as it's Sandra Dee.'...Then latter mom finds out it's one of the first movies about unmarried teen age pregnancies.

If I remember right the two adult actors who played her parents where a bit stiff in their acting. I like Sandra Dee in it. I can't remember what I thought of her love interest.

My parents were driving somewhere for their honeymoon when the car broke down. So, while they were waiting for it to get fixed, they went to see this. My mother thought it was horrendous. And my father fell asleep. So, maybe they both had that anti-Summer Place gene in them, and that made it twice as likely for me to get it. And that is why I feel so strongly against the movie.

Well, you probably think Sandra Dee is cute, too. Troy Donahue is Troy Donahue. He is one of those people that I don't have much to say about, anyway. But the parents were not good at all.

And there is one bit of dialogue that has stuck with me for all of these years (I don't remember characters' names - I will say "he" and "she" - this refers to the two main adults):
She: I love you
He: Me, too, you

And I have never been able to recover from that moment.

I am positively in love with the music, though.

Fabian made a better Troy Donahue, than Donahue did It would have ripped with Fabian as the teen papa. Though better yet they should have used the guy who sang Rawhide.

Frankie Laine? Oh, now I wish they would've used him. I would've loved that!

You want Sandra Dee impregnated by a 46-year-old? This is turning into Peyton Place.

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I have to question this one, not because I disagree with any of your observations (you describe Pearson quite accurately), but it almost seemed like choosing Jesse because of those attributes or emphasizing them was on purpose.

We all know the character of Birdie was supposed to spoof Elvis, but not really personally, more the phenomenon of Elvis and the feeling that a lot of the older generation had toward his phenomenal fame. There were a lot of people who felt Elvis couldn't act or dance. And, although most could not deny that he could sing, a lot of parents couldn't understand their children's mania over the man. Many were heard to say that he sings okay, but he's no Bing Crosby.

So it seems Birdie was supposed to represent the negative view some people had toward the rise to fame of entertainers of that era and the idolatry practiced by the younger generations toward some performers (that many considered just flashes-in-the-pan at the time).

So with that in mind, perhaps Jesse Pearson's somewhat grating performance made him the perfect choice for the message the story was trying to portray. i.e. Birdie was supposed to be a low-talent, inconsiderate, womanizing fop who was famous for a couple pop tunes, but was really a jerk - which was the lesson Kim had to learn by the end of the movie.

I agree with just about everything you've said, but it doesn't change the fact that Jesse's performance is dreadful.

Yes, it was, but I think the fault wasn't so much with Jesse's talents (or lack thereof) as the performance was supposed to be dreadful. You weren't supposed to like Birdie, or think he could dance or sing, so that you felt just as perplexed as all the parents who couldn't understand what their daughters were swooning over.

One scene that kind of tells it all is when Birdie is rehearsing in the gym and you see the look on Kim's little brother's face. He's like the kid in The Emperor's New Clothes - he can see (and hear) that Birdie is a talentless hack (meanwhile, Kim is swooning over the purposefully bad singing).

Keep in mind, Pearson reprised the role from the Broadway show (he had replaced Dick Gautier as Birdie - now I know why I always got the two of them mixed up!) So someone felt he must've been doing something right. (I guess he was good at being dreadful.)

I've been involved in a few high school productions of the show and the most common thing told to boys trying out for Birdie (some of whom get up on stage doing wonderful Elvis impersonations and singing beautifully) is:
1.) Don't do a dead-on Elvis impersonation because the audience isn't supposed to find Birdie's singing as impressive as the teen girls do.
2.) Don't sing so well... Birdie is not supposed to be likable. He's a spoof on Elvis, but he's not supposed to be lovable like Elvis.